When she reached the Dunder-Mifflin building, Pam was glad to see that the main doors were still unlocked. She took the elevator up to their suite and let herself in with her key. It was strange to be there after everyone was gone. Ever since Jim had left for Stamford, Pam had been careful about not being the last person to leave the office. She had tried her best to avoid having to see it the way it had been the last time she’d been there when it was dark--the night that Jim had told her he loved her. The night he’d kissed her.

Now, for the first time in months, she could face it with a smile. It was so unreal to her that she and Jim had almost found their way back to each other after so long. She’d spent so many hours trying to make herself forget what had happened that night, trying to talk herself out of loving him. But this night was different; the pretenses were over and Pam felt like she was finally back where she belonged.

Carefully, she climbed the ladder up to the roof. She was a little disappointed, but not really surprised to find herself alone. She’d hoped Jim might actually be here. It would have been a good place to just sit and talk about everything, but instead, there was probably just another letter. Still, it was kind of nice to have some time to just think about what was going on, before having to face Jim in person.

She sighed lightly, and made her way toward the lawn chairs, the moonlight reflecting eerily across the metal handles. There were several times over the last year or so that she’d considered taking the chairs off the roof, but something in her wouldn’t let her do it. Now she was glad they were still here. It was like part of her, and part of Jim had stayed up on the roof with each other, just waiting for everything else to come together.

She reached down to grab the piece of paper that was tucked under one of the chairs, along with the flashlight that Jim had thoughtfully left for her. Then she sat down to read.

My Pam,

You have no idea how amazing it is to be able to write that. I mean, I guess I really shouldn’t write it until I know for sure that you will be mine, but if you’re reading this, then you must have followed the plan up till now, so hopefully, it’s not too much of an assumption to make.

Anyway, I’d better get back to my story. I started getting your letters. Marsha would leave them for me on my desk at work, and I’d leave another dream girl letter in exchange. But then there were a few days when I didn’t get any letters, and I wondered what was going on. I still don’t know what happened to Marsha, but a week ago I got a package from her with the rest of your letters in it.

Pam, I don’t even know what to say about those letters. I was so shocked. I mean, I really didn’t know that you had any feelings for me at all. I thought I’d probably just spend the rest of my life trying to make myself forget about you. Trying to move on however I could, but then… You amaze me. Do you know that? I really don’t know how to express what I felt when I found out that you loved me and that you had loved me for so long.

Unfortunately, at the time, I still had a girlfriend and as luck would have it, Karen came over right as I finished reading your letters. I managed to hide the letters, but Karen found Marsha’s note explaining the whole situation.

I don’t know… At the time it was really hard to try to explain what had been going on without sounding like a total jerk, but now that I think about it, maybe it was better that Karen found the note. I guess she deserved to know the truth about everything, but I’m not sure I would have told her all that if she hadn’t found out part of it by accident.

Anyway, the point is, we broke up, and she told me later that she’d be leaving in a week. Today was her last day, actually. I don’t know if she told anyone. I feel kind of bad for just breaking it off with her when I know she really wanted it to work, but once I knew I could choose between the two of you, it was completely over. I’d always pick you, Pam.

XOXOXXXXO

Your Jim

P.S. I hope you’ve enjoyed your time on the roof, but it’s time to move on. Besides, I happen to know that Agent Michael Scarn is an excellent ice skater. I think if we’re going to stop him from taking over the office, we’ll have to be expert skaters ourselves. Now if only there was some place we could practice. Oh, wait, I think I might know just the place. See you there!

Shaking her head, Pam stood and headed for the ladder that would take her back down to the office. She was starting to get a little frustrated by these letters. She loved reading them, of course, but she would much rather just see Jim in person. While she wanted to know the rest of the story, she had calmed down a lot since that afternoon, and was now anxious to talk to him--to make sure this was all real. Still, if this was the way he wanted to do this, and as long as she did get to see him eventually, she wasn’t about to complain.

Pam paused near the top of the ladder, pulling her coat around her a little tighter. She’d forgotten how nice the view was from up here. Maybe next week she and Jim could come back up together. At least it would be a good way to avoid Dwight on their lunch break. And, it was pretty secluded. Perfect for midday make out sessions. Blushing in the dark, Pam quickly quelled that thought. There’d be plenty of time for making out later. For now, she figured she’d better just proceed according to Jim’s plan.

-----

When she pulled up outside the ice skating rink, Pam noticed that it was surprisingly busy for a Friday night. She entered the lobby and found a junior league hockey game in progress. The concession stand was busy, the front desk and bleachers crowded, and for a minute she just stood there confused about what to do next. She wasn’t sure who to ask about a letter. Had Jim hidden it somewhere? she wondered. She wished he hadn’t been so cryptic.

Just then, she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Excuse me--do you have your ticket ma’am?” The teenage boy addressing her couldn’t have been more than sixteen, but he was nearly a foot taller than Pam, and she couldn’t help but feel slightly intimidated.

“Oh—uh, no,” Pam stammered. “I’m not actually going to the game; I just needed to stop by here for a minute—to get something.”

“I’m sorry, but tonight’s the regional championships. You can’t come in here without a ticket.” He smiled at her gently, but then nodded toward the door.

“Look, I know there’s a game going on and I’m not trying to sneak in or anything, I just need to find something that a friend left here. Is there manager or someone that I could talk to?”

“Hold on a minute. I’ll get him. Just stay right here, okay?”

Pam nodded and in a few minutes the boy was back.

“Oh good, you’re still here,” the kid said.

Pam nodded again, raising her eyebrows.

“Is your name Pam?”

“Um…yes.”

“I thought so. In that case, come with me.” He opened the gate and gestured ahead.

Pam followed him around the ice rink, and then through a set of doors that led to a large storage area.

“Here she is, Dad.”

“Thanks!” The voice came from behind a Zamboni machine that took up half the room. It was soon followed by a middle-aged man wearing a faded leather jacket, work gloves and a disarming grin. Pam couldn’t help but smile back at him. He reminded her a little bit of her own father.

“So, you’re Pam?”

“Yep,” she said, smiling self-consciously.

“Well, then—I guess I have something for you.” With that, the man climbed up onto the Zamboni and grabbed something off the seat. When he got back down, he smiled at Pam once more. “That’s a pretty special boy you’ve got yourself, Pam. He seems like he’d do anything for you.” He winked at her and held out a letter.

“Yeah,” she smiled again. It was so strange to think of Jim this way. As hers. She felt her stomach twist up at the thought. “Thanks!” she called out, heading back toward the entrance.

“No problem! You two have a nice night, okay?”

“Oh, we will!” That is if I ever catch up to him, Pam thought.

Back in her car, she unfolded the letter and read it in the light of the parking lot’s floodlights.

Dear Beautiful,

Stay with me, Pam. I’m almost done. Just keep reading a little bit longer.

After I broke up with Karen, I still had to decide what to do about your letters. I knew I had to talk to you, but I couldn’t really figure out how to do it with Karen still around. And besides that I didn’t want to scare you off or… I just didn’t

want to mess this up. I mean, I’ve been waiting for this—for you—for so long now that I wanted it to be perfect. In the end, I decided to just keep sending you dream girl letters for a few days.

Oh, and Marsha mentioned in her note that she’d been getting your letters out of the garbage can, so after she left, I started checking your garbage and I found a couple more letters that way. I guess that part was a little creepy of me, but trust me, it was for a good cause!

So that’s how it all happened. And I think I should just tell you, everything you said in those letters is exactly what I want, too. I mean it Pam, everything. I don’t want you to worry about anything you said. Even the possibility of maybe someday thinking about getting married. I’m completely willing to have this go as fast or as slow as you want it to, but I have no problem admitting that I’ve thought about it, too. Anyway, we don’t have to get into all that quite yet. For now, just know that I love you.

Yours always,

Jim

P.S. Do you remember our first date? No, not the one on the roof, although I liked that one too. The one before that, though. During your first week? Well, I remember. And if you don’t maybe I can refresh your memory. See you at Cugino’s.

-----

As she walked into the restaurant, she felt overwhelmed by memories. It wasn’t as though she’d never been back since that lunch with Jim, but ever since then, Cugino’s had always reminded her of him. That day had been perfect. She and Jim had spent the entire time laughing about everything from the old Dunder-Mifflin logo, to Dwight’s then-current obsession with anime, and the “motivational” posters Michael had tried to put up in the break room. She had never known someone who could make her laugh like that from the very first day they met.

At the time, she had felt a twinge of guilt whenever she saw him looking at her. She was engaged, but she hadn’t known if he knew that, and even though she had felt like she ought to remind him, she just hadn’t been able to. Now, years later, she realized that the real reason she’d been unable to mention Roy was because she’d wanted Jim, too. She shook her head in wonder, realizing that on that first “date” she never could have imagined a night like this one.

“Can I help you, Miss?” the waiter asked, interrupting Pam’s thoughts.

“Hi,” she said, smiling politely. “My name’s Pam Beesly. Would you happen to have something for me?”

By this time, she was used to the drill. Pam figured she might as well get this over with as fast as possible, so she could get on to the next clue. It had been almost two hours since she’d left her apartment, and she was starting to get a little tired of the chase.

“Beesly?” The waiter paused for a second, scanning the paper in front of him. “Oh, yes, Beesly. Come with me please,” he said, giving her a friendly smile before turning to lead her to a table in the back of the restaurant. “Here you are. Just have a seat; it should only be a minute.”

“Oh, um…okay,” she said, feeling confused. “Thank you.”

Pam sat with her hands folded on her lap. She was a little put-off by the waiter’s behavior. But she figured Jim had probably told the waiter to give her a table so she would have somewhere warm to read. She felt a little uncomfortable, though. While Cugino’s wasn’t exactly a fancy restaurant, she couldn’t help feeling a bit out of place in her faded, old pair of jeans.

She also noticed that she was surrounded by couples. Young, old, they sat around her, submersing her in a sea of romance. She knew it wouldn’t be long before she’d be doing the exact same thing with Jim, but for now, it just made her feel like the odd one out.

Her thoughts drifted back to Jim’s letters. She couldn’t wait to see him. She just wanted him to know that she loved him, too. That she—

All of a sudden she started as she felt someone place their hands on her shoulders from behind.

“Sh…” the someone whispered, reassuringly. Pam froze for a minute. Her first thought was that she must be dreaming. Then she turned her head slightly and gasped when she realized that it really was Jim standing behind her.

“Pam,” Jim whispered in her ear. He moved her hair aside to gently kiss the back of her neck.

She closed her eyes for just a second, memorizing the sensation of his warm breath against her skin. She couldn’t remember exactly when or how she’d written it, but she knew that she’d mentioned doing this exact same thing to him in one of her letters.

She had dreamt of something like this for so long that now it almost felt like just another dream. But at the same time the differences between dream and reality were just too undeniable. Like the slight hint of stubble that brushed along the back of her neck and the way his hair felt so soft when she reached behind her to run her fingers in it. So instead of trying to deny it, Pam just kept thinking over and over this is real, real, real…

She wanted to say something. She wanted to tell him how it felt to be living this moment. Actually, what she really wanted was to tell him that she loved him. But in the middle of Cugino’s, on a Friday night, with Jim here in person, everything that she’d already confessed in her letters sounded like too much. She knew he had confessed a lot too, but writing “I love you” in a letter was one thing and saying it out loud was something else entirely. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t bring herself to say it just yet. But she still wanted to say something.

“Jim,” she murmured.

Her voice seemed to pull them both out of their trance and he straightened up from his position behind her chair and then slowly moved around the table to sit opposite her.

He was looking at her, expecting her to continue, but all she could do was stare at him. There he was, finally. The man of her dreams. No more letters. No more pretending. No more misunderstandings or misinterpretations. He was here. And he was hers. Without a word, she came over to the other end of the table and leaned down to kiss him back.

Never mind that they were probably being stared at by half the restaurant. She’d waited so long, that now when she had the chance, she needed to prove to herself that this was really going to happen.

After a moment he pulled back slightly and she opened her eyes.

“Hi,” he said quietly, his face still so close to hers.

“Hey,” she murmured back.