Hey everyone, it’s God here. I know you’ve all had some pretty good summers. I’ve been watching you. You’ve relaxed and spent time with family, taken trips, fixed up things around the house and I know that you’ve also spent some time wondering and worrying about your favorite documentary subjects. It’s okay…nothing to be ashamed about. I have to admit that I use my powers to check in on them more than is necessary. As the documentary crew prepares to unleash another season upon us (they’ve been cutting and editing and doing all of that other arty stuff) I thought we could take some time to talk and share and catch up.
Things ended pretty well last season and I know that I chatted with you briefly about that. I did, though, want to clear something up. I’ve heard from a lot of you…read it in a couple of media publications even…that Jim asking Pam out on a date was the answer to a lot of prayers...from Pam and Jim and well, from all you out there rooting for them. What I wanted to clear up, though, was that this wasn’t the first time I’ve done that for them. Through the course of what you’ve seen on television so far, I’ve been there all along, dealing with prayer requests. Sometimes, though, those requests don’t turn out like people want them to. I guess that what I’m saying is that sometimes I answer a prayer by not answering it at all. Didn’t Garth Brooks sing about that once? I’m not much of a country fan, so I’d have to check. I just want you to know that sometimes the best gift I can give you is to pretend that I didn’t hear you.
Back after the Booze Cruise, Jim prayed long and hard for Pam to have a happy marriage and for Roy to treat her the way she deserved to be treated. I couldn’t do that for him. Does that make me a bad guy?
Pam prayed a lot too…for acceptance and to get over the things she felt…things she called nerves and cold feet. Pam wanted so much to be a good wife to Roy and like many women, felt that if she worked hard enough and overlooked some of the cracks in their relationship that everything would fall into place. I couldn’t give her that peace of mind, though…and I’m not sorry.
When Jim was in Stamford, he asked to forget. He wanted help moving on. He wanted the pain in his heart to go away. Though it may seem cruel, sometimes I show that I care by letting heartache linger and by not letting you forget.
Pam’s done her fair share of praying in the last year or so too for Jim to be happy with Karen and well, if I wouldn’t make her happy for Jim, I certainly couldn’t turn around and make him happy for her, right? I am an equal opportunity God.
Every time Jim asked for strength to make it work with Karen, or when Pam asked me to help her find her own “Karen” (and yes, I know very well she isn’t gay) I turned away. Even when both of these two were praying for basically the same thing (Jim to get the New York job and Pam asking me to get Jim the job if that’s what he wanted) I pretended I couldn’t hear.
And before you get all smug and think that of course it was all for the best considering how things turned out, just think about the position it put me in. One of the hardest things I have to do is not give people what they so desperately want. Do you think I liked seeing Pam’s tears, knowing I could make them go away? Do you think I wanted Karen to get hurt while Jim flailed about so urgently trying to make it work with her? That’s hard…especially because there are no guarantees. Remember, we’ve talked about free will, and if Jim and Pam didn’t make these choices and follow the paths they did, there’s no assurance that the pain would be worth it. I usually help prod people in the right directions…I’m not a sadist, but sometimes I don’t win out.
So, when you guys are talking about how I’ve answered all of Jim and Pam’s prayers, remember that no…I didn’t.
I guess that’s all I have for now. If you faithful readers have any questions for me…if you want to know why someone did something or why any of these Office-ites behave the way they do, drop me a line in the comments here and I’ll see what I can do before the show starts up again. I’d also be happy to talk about any of these folks’ relationships with me. I just can’t tell you everything.
Stay good.
God
