At ten o'clock Pam turned off her front porch light. She turned off the television, and then the remaining living room lamp. She walked into the bathroom and brushed her teeth, staring tiredly at the red eyes looking back at her. When she got home a little after six, Pam had headed immediately for her couch and finally let the tears flow. It felt like she had cried out every tear she'd been holding back all day. Holding back for days, really. Even though it seemed all she'd been doing lately was moping, tonight's confrontation with Jim seemed to bring back every painful memory and regret. Ten months had passed since she first let him walk away, and the only thing she could think about was how different those months might have been had she just been able to take that leap. Never mind that things were so different back then, that she was so different back then. All she could see was the loss.

At some point she fell asleep, only to jump up startled and wide-eyed at eight-thirty. It took a moment to get her bearings, to remember why she had collapsed on the couch. A quick peek out her front door, and a glance at her answering machine and voice mail all indicated no visits, no calls. She peeled off her cardigan and pantyhose and wandered into the kitchen, pulling out whatever she could find that was quick and easy. She was hungry, but it seemed like too much effort to cook. Microwaving leftover fried rice was about as much as she could manage. She just felt drained.

She picked at the heated leftovers at the small round table in her dining room space, her mind unwilling to do anything but think again about what had happened today. She couldn't help but replay their conversation over and over and over in her head, trying to understand how he could have been so blind all this time to how she felt. She knew she had held so much in, but there were still so many times she felt her actions made it painfully obvious that she was just waiting for a chance to be with him. And so she spent the rest of the evening waiting for him once again.

As she finished brushing her teeth, one thing was clear; he wasn't coming after her. She had felt certain as she left Dunder Mifflin tonight that he'd show up on her doorstep. He had looked so sad when she left, and he had been reaching for her hand as Karen walked in. Certainly that meant something, right?

But right now she felt no more hopeful about her future with Jim than she had when she woke up this morning.

Pam comforted herself with the knowledge that at least she had finally done something. She'd found the courage to stand up to him and tell him how she felt. She hadn't sounded pathetic, she hadn't asked anything of him. She had simply acted like the mature adult she sometimes doubted existed inside, and for that she could walk into the office tomorrow with her head held high. But then why was she already planning on calling off tomorrow and hiding under the blankets all day long? Maybe she could only handle being so mature in little doses.

Sleeping dreamlessly, Pam suddenly sat up in bed, startled awake for the second time that evening. She looked over at her alarm clock, where it read 12:22. She frowned. She must have been woken up by neighbors or a car in need of a new exhaust system. She turned her pillow over and laid back down when she heard a noise. This one was clearly the sound of someone knocking at her front door.

She threw the covers back and practically jumped out of bed. She was more convinced it was someone with bad news rather than the idea that it could possibly be Jim at this hour, but both options filled her with trepidation.

She opened the door and there he was. Jim. He was still dressed in his work clothes, though he tie was loose and his first two shirt buttons undone. He had one hand braced against the door frame, as if he was too exhausted to stand unassisted. When their eyes met, he stood up straighter, but did not move his arm. They regarded each other cautiously for a few moments before he finally spoke.

"I know it's late," he said, his voice unsteady and gravelly. "I probably should have just waited until tomorrow. I'm sorry if I woke you."

Pam hadn't thought about her appearance until that moment. Her hair unruly and a bit knotted from sleep, dressed in an old cotton short sleeve nightgown printed with purple clouds and yellow stars, she knew she looked more like a little girl than a grown woman. But there was something in the way Jim was looking at her that made her not care. She stepped back from the door, and gestured him inside.

"It's okay," she said softly as he walked into the living room. She shut the door, locking it. "I'm glad you're here." She reached to switch on the lamp, but noticed that the light from the oven hood spilled out into the living room enough for them to see each other. There was something comforting to her in the darkness, something that made her feel hopeful that he was here for the right reasons.

Jim stood there silently, and Pam could see a vulnerability on his face that she hadn't seen since that May evening. Any defenses she had fell, and she felt the need to protect him. To look after him, in a way she probably should have months ago.

"Are you alright?" She asked softly. She indicated he could sit down, but he remained standing.

"I hadn't intended on breaking up with Karen tonight," he said. "Even after our conversation."

"But you did." It was more of a statement then a question.

"Yes. She wanted to go back to her place after dinner, and I - "

Pam held up her hand. "You don't have to tell me."

"Yes, I do." He replied firmly. He moved closer to where she was standing. "I had to end things with her because all I could think about tonight was what it meant for you to say what you said. How could I stay with her, be fair to her, if I'm sitting in her presence and it wasn't even like I was there? All I could think about was you, wondering if what you said meant what I hoped it did. If you wanted - "

"I do," she said immediately. "I really, really do." She crossed the small space still between them and practically threw herself at him, stretching up on her toes and putting her arms tightly around his neck. His arms went around her, pulling her as close as humanly possible. Her lips found his, their kiss soft but insistent. Neither was willing to be the first to let go, and as a result minutes passed before either of them moved again. Pam finally took a small step back, the most she could do given Jim's complete resistance to letting her go. She rested her one hand on his bicep as her other hand touched his face.

"It's late. Come to bed," she said simply.

His head tilted slightly, and she heard him take a sharp breath in. "We - we have so much to talk about," he replied, with a laugh that struck her as slightly nervous. "I feel like my head is spinning."

"I know, mine too. And we will," she promised, her voice low and steady. "Tomorrow."

"Pam, I didn't come here expecting -"

"I know," she assured him. "But I need you."

Jim leaned in and kissed her again, and as the kiss deepened Pam could feel his hands trembling against her back. Somehow his hesitation made her want him even more. She kissed his cheek, then chin, and took his hands in hers. She silently led him into her bedroom, and as soon as the door shut she wrapped herself around him again.

His tie was the first to fall, and she continued to kiss him as she undid each button. Her hands pushed his shirt open, and she heard his breath catch as she slid them along his skin around to his back, pulling his shirt tails out of his trousers. As she pressed her cheek to his warm chest, his head dropped down to rest atop hers, and he made a sound that seemed to cross the line from sigh to moan. His hands slid down to her hips, pulling her flush against him. Her body tingled as if she'd come in contact with electricity, his desire tangibly evident and urging. She pulled him closer to the bed.

"Pam," he whispered against her neck, questioning and uncertain.

"Shush," she replied, stopping as she felt her legs bumping against her mattress. She climbed backwards onto her bed, her hands dropping to the front of his pants, her fingers curling into the waistband to pull him toward her.

He resisted for just a moment, glancing down at her hands and back up to her face. He finally gave her a small smile, slipping his shoes off before moving toward her. Pam had unbuckled his belt before his lips could reach hers again.

"Are you sure - " Jim said against her lips.

She unbuttoned his pants and pulled down the zipper slowly. "Are you telling me to stop?"

"No, I just - "

"Then quit talking."

She heard his soft laugh and couldn't resist a giggle in response. He pulled off his pants, leaving his boxers. Pam tugged at his boxers as well, and he complied without comment, rolling onto his back as she pushed him down and climbed on top of him. She brushed his hair back from his face with her fingers, her mouth eagerly finding his again, her teeth nipping at his lips until he parted them and her tongue slid against his. Jim's hands explored her back, then worked downward to find the hem of her nightgown. He finally pushed it up, tugging it over her shoulders and causing her to break their kiss to pull it over her head and toss it onto the floor. She leaned over to kiss him again when he stopped her.

"Let me look at you," he said, his tone somewhere between demanding and pleading. Before she could reply he pulled her down next him and rolled on top of her. His eyes met hers as his hand brushed up her side ever so gently, pausing to cup her breast. His lips touched hers lightly.

"You are so perfect," he said, lowering his head to her neck, where he trailed kisses from her shoulder down to her breast. Her fingers curled through his hair again and she closed her eyes to focus on the sensations flooding through her. Her only coherent thought was the amazing realization that this was really happening. That this was really her and him - her Jim! - doing things she feared she'd only ever dream about. The reaction to just knowing it was them together, finally, aroused her almost, but not quite, as much as the amazing things he was doing with his hands and his lips and his tongue. When he moved to kiss her other breast, she wrapped her legs around his, moving against him in a way that made it more than clear what she wanted.

She finally pulled his mouth back up to hers. "Jim," she murmured.

"Pam," he said groaned slowly. "This, this is.....overwhelming."

"Please," she whispered, slowly rubbing her legs against his.

He buried his face against her neck, breathing in her scent and kissing her. "I don't think you appreciate how much - this is not going to be anywhere near my greatest performance."

The clear anxiety in his voice made her want to laugh. "I don't care," she interrupted.

"I just need you to know - "

She shifted her body until she could put her hands to both sides of his face. She rested her forehead against his and sighed audibly. "And I just need you to love me, Jim."

He smiled slightly and kissed her nose. "Always," he promised. "Always."

As he kissed her lips again, she felt him skim his hand down her waist and between their bodies. It was her turn to catch her breath when she felt his fingers stroke her, and she couldn't help moaning his name.

"God, you feel wonderful," he murmured.

She opened her eyes briefly, catching his gaze. "I was about to say the same about you," she said, smiling. They both laughed softly, and Jim nuzzled her cheek. While the passion remained, something was changing between them. Something even more important, something they'd both been suffering without for too long. "I have missed you so much," she said softly, her arm around his waist pulling him closer.

"Really?" he asked. "Because I don't have a memory of doing this before, and I'm pretty sure it's something I definitely would have remembered." He kissed her neck, his thumb rubbing against her as he gently glided two fingers into her.

She gave a little gasp, but wasn't about to let him get the last word. "Oh yeah," she replied, her breathing sounding a bit heavier. "We used to do this all the time. I can't believe you've forgotten."

She gave a little sound of disappointment as he withdrew his hand. He just smiled, then kissed her deeply as he settled back over her, gently rocking himself in where his hand had been. He purposely kept his movements slow, trying to both enjoy the experience as well as make it last as long as possible. She was wrapped so tightly around him that he knew it wouldn't last, but he tried to keep himself distracted for her. It had been too long since he'd let himself completely focus on her, but it didn't mean it still wasn't automatic and instinctual.

In the end it was as much about the look of complete love on her face that pulled him under as it was the sheer physical reaction of their lovemaking. With the help of his hands he had managed to bring her to climax first, but only by seconds. When it was over, they stayed entwined, him softening inside her, as if they were afraid they would break the spell. Jim only moved when he felt her shiver slightly, leaning down to pull the blankets up over their bodies.

"I don't know what you were worried about," she said as he nestled back down against her.

"Thanks," he grinned against her shoulder. "You didn't suck too badly, either."

She rolled toward him, "You did not just say that," she replied, unable to hide a giggle. "I was trying to be nice."

"You might want to work on that then," he said, putting his arm around her waist.

"I could say the same thing to you," she retorted, pulling her face into an exaggerated pout. "These last few months I'd started to wonder if nice was even in your vocabulary when it came to me sometimes."

Jim kissed her forehead. "I know," he said apologetically. "Am I allowed to talk now?"

"For a few minutes," she said, her smile returning. "Then it's back to work."

The pattern of words and movement continued through most of the night, and when they noticed the sun rising, the thought of leaving the world they'd created to survive another day at Dunder Mifflin just wasn't possible. And as such things usually unfold, they both called off, not caring what gossip it would surely cause, and spent the day hiding (and kissing and touching and laughing, and yes, even talking) under the blankets. There was so much they needed to catch up on.