Jim looked from the email to Pam, and back to the email. It was a little spooky that they’d had exactly the same idea at exactly—well, almost exactly—the same time, but his curiosity got the better of him and he clicked the link to his new blog.
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The end of an error
by TheSecretOfJimh
at April 18th, 2007 (2:36 pm)
Karen and I broke up last night, and I’d really like to drown my sorrows in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s while watching Legally Blonde, but that movie is way down in my Netflix queue and I forgot how Kelly said to move it back up. I wonder if there are any cute receptionists around here who might have it on DVD. Oh, woe is me if I don’t get to watch Legally Blonde tonight. As everyone knows, it’s part of the breakup healing process—and, frankly, cinematic genius.
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Jim’s first thought was Oh my God, she knows. How does she know? His second thought was Oh my God, she’s totally laughing in the face of my heartache. Which means she knows I don’t have any heartache. Which means…what does that mean?
He saw Pam glance in his direction as she frowned at her computer screen. He’d heard the new mail ding come from her computer just a few seconds ago. He suddenly had to…go to the bathroom.
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I think Jim has a gastrointestinal disorder
by killerbeesly
at April 18th, 2007 (2:38 pm)
I don’t understand it. I’m looking unbelievably cute today, and yet Jim won’t come and talk to me. He keeps zooming my desk on his way to the bathroom. Does he have food poisoning? Is he so overcome by my beauty that he has to keep splashing cold water on his face to revive himself? Hard to say. I really wish he’d stop by my desk, though, because I wanted to invite him over to watch Legally Blonde later (it’s his favorite movie, no matter what he says to the contrary). Also, I want to use the opportunity to get him drunk and jump his bones. I’ve been wanting a piece of that for years now.
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Pam was caught between a gasp and a guffaw, and she ended up coughing hysterically until she got the hiccups. Jim looked up and raised his eyebrows at her comically on his way back from the bathroom. Pam was pleased to note that his face was rather pink, which was interesting since he wasn’t the one who’d just experienced the coughing fit.
What am I supposed to do now? Pam wondered. When he’d written her blog entry, he hadn’t known that she knew about the breakup. Now that he knew she knew, what should she do? Email, certainly.
To: JHalpert@dundermifflin.com
From: PBeesly@dundermifflin.com
Subject: nice user name
I like it. I’ll definitely use it if I ever become a serial killer. So, now that we know I’m cute—and, apparently, a whore—what’s next? I suggest that, since you can’t talk to me for some reason, we email each other our hopes, dreams, and favorite ice cream flavors. Otherwise, I’m not sure I can make it through the next 2 hours and 15 minutes.
By the way, one of my biggest hopes is that Michael is not monitoring this email. If he hears I’m a whore, it’s all over for me.
Jim chuckled as he read his email. He had carefully crafted an email response when he suddenly deleted it and started over. He had a much better idea.
To: PBeesly@dundermifflin.com
From: JHalpert@dundermifflin.com
Subject: email surveillance
Not so fast, Beesly. You know very well that Dunder-Mifflin company email is not intended for personal use. If you wish to communicate with me, you will have to reply in blog format. You be me. I’ll be you. The role of Michael will be played by Garry Shandling.
By the way, Horton Hears a Whore happens to be one of my favorite books.
Pam hic-giggled as she read Jim’s email. This would definitely fill up the rest of the afternoon.
To: JHalpert@dundermifflin.com
From: PBeesly@dundermifflin.com
Subject: bring it
It is SO on.
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