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Author's Chapter Notes:

I probably won't be able to post another chapter until the beginning of next week, because my birthday is tomorrow--well, later today. Well, now, actually, because it's after midnight (woo!). Anyway, my boyfriend is taking me to the coast for the weekend, so I won't be here to update. But I hope this'll tide you over for a while. Hee--I said coast and tide in the same sentence. :)

The email notification and format are loosely based on those of LiveJournal. I don't have a MySpace account, so I'm not sure if it works exactly the same way, but I'd think it would be similar. Anyway, I'm taking some liberties for the sake of the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of The Office, nor will I seek to profit from this fan fiction work.

Game on. Volley to Beesly.

 

To: PBeesly@dundermifflin.com (TheSecretOfJimh)
From: notification@myspace.com
Subject: reply to your comment

killerbeesly made this reply to your entry:

Aw, you poor thing! I do, in fact, have Legally Blonde on DVD. I also have Legally Blonde 2. I also have Karmel Sutra (this is an ice cream, not an invitation for sex; you can tell the difference because all my sex invitations are printed on ivory vellum and come with a pressed flower in the envelope).

Would you like to come over to my apartment tonight for comfort? In the form of movie watching and ice cream eating, of course. I promise not to make a move on you in your delicate emotional state.

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Pam raised an eyebrow at Jim over the top of her monitor, but he was busy typing. Apparently, this would be a completely non-visual exchange. They wouldn’t have time to look at each other between posting replies to each other’s replies—for which Pam was secretly relieved; that would make it easier for her to be candid. But she was already starting to get confused about who she was in this game. Jim, she reminded herself. I’m Jim in this scenario.

She replied to killerbeesly’s entry, trying to sound like a cross between herself sharing her feelings and Jim being Jim-like, without taking liberties with what his feelings might be. It took her twenty minutes. When she dared to glance back up at Jim, he was leaned back in his chair, twiddling his thumbs. How can he manage to look bored and adorable and hilarious all at the same time? she wondered.

 

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To: JHalpert@dundermifflin.com (killerbeesly)
From: notification@myspace.com
Subject: reply to your comment

TheSecretOfJimh made this reply to your entry:

First of all, Beesly, I am mortified that you chose to air the eccentricities of our relationship—and my bathroom habits—on the world-wide interweb. How humiliating! If I ever recover, which I may not, I will expect some huge favors from you. Chief among them, several cans of Coke and a Snickers bar (to which I am now irreversibly addicted, thanks to you. Hussy).

Also, I am shocked—shocked!—that you said you want to jump my bones. That is neither appropriate, given my very recent heartbreak, nor is it current slang. I expect more from you, Beesly. Seriously.

Furthermore (and this one is important), please, for the love of God, can we just reply in one thread from now on? I’m dizzy from going back and forth like this.

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Jim laughed out loud, eliciting a stern look from Dwight, who had begun his pre-weekend desk tidying and lock-down. At 3:44. Well, not everyone could be as focused as Jim was. He abandoned the reply he’d been working on in Pam’s blog and concentrated on replying to her reply to his blog. Dang, I see what she means, he thought, his head spinning a bit. It wasn’t just from blog-confusion.

 

 

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To: PBeesly@dundermifflin.com (TheSecretOfJimh)
From: notification@myspace.com
Subject: reply to your comment

killerbeesly made this reply to your entry:

That’s what she said.

Secondly, the contents of my fridge are—sum and total: several cases of Coke and approximately 40 Snickers bars. I wanted to be prepared in case you ever came over. I also have some Pepto Bismol in the cupboard, in case you need it. I hope you don’t, though, because gastrointestinal problems account for fully 80% of missed sex opportunities. And, as you know, I am a brazen hussy who wants nothing more than to get you into bed.

Also, you have nice eyes.

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To: JHalpert@dundermifflin.com (killerbeesly)
From: notification@myspace.com
Subject: reply to your comment

TheSecretOfJimh made this reply to your entry:

Thank you, Pam. I’ve gotten many compliments on my eyes over the years, but none was phrased half as eloquently as yours. Or, at least, none had a better lead-in. Nice. Bordering on harassment, but nice.

If all you have is Coke and Snickers bars, where is the Karmel Sutra? I need to hear concrete intel on the ice cream situation before I can commit to this evening.

Question: Do you have any footy pajamas? I’ve always wanted to see you in footy pajamas, and I think that if we’re going to watch two Legally Blondes back to back, we should probably be wearing jammies.

I will obviously be wearing some type of manly sleep ensemble. Something in flannel with lambs cavorting all over them. You will be blown away.

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To: PBeesly@dundermifflin.com (TheSecretOfJimh)
From: notification@myspace.com
Subject: reply to your comment

killerbeesly made this reply to your entry:

That’s what she said.

Unfortunately, I do not own any footy pajamas. I do, however, have this great teddy that I did not even purchase until after Roy and I were completely broken up—so in no way has it ever been seen or handled by Roy. Ever. Because that would be wrong.

But if a teddy would make you uncomfortable, I can wear something else.

Also, do we want to discuss why you broke up with Karen? If it had anything to do with me, I’ll feel obliged to send Karen a card or a fruit basket. Or maybe Angela would relinquish the dominant male of her newest litter of kittens.

The ice cream is in the freezer, not the refrigerator, thus its exclusion from the fridge-contents list. I will explain the various nuances of cooling to you later. Or we can ask Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration.

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To: JHalpert@dundermifflin.com (killerbeesly)
From: notification@myspace.com
Subject: reply to your comment

TheSecretOfJimh made this reply to your entry:

Wow, a teddy, huh? I think that would make me uncomfortable. They’re always too tight in the waist for me.

Thank you for clarifying the ice cream situation, even though you were unspeakably rude about it. I will do my best to forgive you, but I make no promises.

I think we should probably save the breakup talk for later tonight. I feel weird discussing it with Karen just a few feet away. But we’ll definitely talk about it. As long as it doesn’t obscure any of my favorite Legally Blonde dialogue.

By the way, I’m really glad you didn’t marry Roy.

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To: PBeesly@dundermifflin.com (TheSecretOfJimh)
From: notification@myspace.com
Subject: reply to your comment

killerbeesly made this reply to your entry:

Me too.

Is it time to stop pretending and go back to being ourselves yet? In all the times I’ve thought about getting inside you, I was never imagining your blog.

That was unspeakably rude, I know, but I had to say it.

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To: JHalpert@dundermifflin.com (killerbeesly)
From: notification@myspace.com
Subject: reply to your comment

TheSecretOfJimh made this reply to your entry:

Jim Halpert, you are unspeakably rude.

Oops. I seem to have reverted to my own consciousness and stopped channeling you. Well, I really had no choice. You were getting too filthy-minded for me.

I’m joking, of course. Would you like to make out in the janitor’s closet until 5:00? Please check yes or no.

___ Yes

___ No

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To: PBeesly@dundermifflin.com (TheSecretOfJimh)
From: notification@myspace.com
Subject: reply to your comment

killerbeesly made this reply to your entry:

I’m afraid I have to say (check) no. I promised Karen I wouldn’t make out with you in front of her until after she’s gotten over me. Which could be a while, given my rugged good looks and obvious charm.

Can we wait until 5:01?

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To: JHalpert@dundermifflin.com (killerbeesly)
From: notification@myspace.com
Subject: reply to your comment

TheSecretOfJimh made this reply to your entry:

I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try to abstain until 5:01. If I get desperate and end up in the closet with Michael while I’m waiting for you, will you protect me from Jan? Thanks, I appreciate it.

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To: PBeesly@dundermifflin.com (TheSecretOfJimh)
From: notification@myspace.com
Subject: reply to your comment

killerbeesly made this reply to your entry:

Hey, Pam? It’s 5:01.

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Chapter End Notes:
I apologize for the fact that two hours passed so quickly while they were replying to each other, but I just couldn't wait for 5:00. And I'm sure Pam and Jim couldn't, either. :)

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