It was a little surprising to Pam that the nerves didn't set in until she turned onto I-380 and saw the "Scranton: 40mi" sign. She learned only yesterday that Jan wanted her to be at the Scranton Branch on Monday, and rather than tell Jim, Pam decided it'd be more fun to come to Scranton straight after her internship and spend Saturday evening and all of Sunday together. Even though Mark was likely there (and according to everything Jim had said about him, likely still in his pajamas), the thought of getting to spend most of the weekend with her boyfriend at his home was very exciting.

Her cell phone sat in the console, and she debated over and over if she should call and give Jim a heads up or if she wanted to truly surprise him by showing up at his door. She finally settled on the latter option.

On the passenger's seat was a box of random things that were taking up space at her work desk and in her shoebox apartment, so she thought she'd store it temporarily at her parents' house. Several souvenirs from Italy, some clothes she wasn't going to wear during the New York Autumn, and random papers filled the box, and on top of everything was a greeting card envelope marked "Jim".

"Can you tell us about your Secret Santa gift, Pam?"

It had been six months since the documentary crew arrived at the Scranton Branch of Dunder Mifflin and in many ways Pam was still uncomfortable around them. She was better than when they first started, when she felt like she couldn't turn a corner without seeing the gleam of a lens, couldn't speak without noticing them turn their attention to her, ready to capture her every word. 

She knew they were well aware of her crush on Jim. From the very first day when they got her to blush by saying Jim had told them her favorite yogurt flavor, she felt the camera on her whenever she laughed at his jokes, walked over to his desk, sat next to him in the conference room.

But there were now at least moments that she was mostly unaware of their presence, and they discovered quickly she clammed up when they asked her about Jim so there were few direct questions. Still, she wasn't ready for this impromptu "talking head" (as she had hear them once refer to it as) while she put together her Secret Santa gift in the breakroom.

"I got Jim's name this year, and he likes my drawings so I drew him this." She unrolled the paper and held up a watercolor, "It's everyone in the office, but there's a second part." Pam opened up a paper tube marked "Top Secret, open when alone" and pulled out a second roll, this one on transparent paper. "I drew a quicksand pit on this acetate and so when you put it over the drawing, you can see how deep everyone is in. It's um, it's kind of an inside joke," Pam added as Jason the cameraman knitted his brows.

"Did you make the card as well?" Brian the sound guy asked, nodding towards the envelope marked "Jim" on the table.

"No, that's just store-bought," Pam said flatly, grabbing the card after she put the transparent drawing back in it's "top secret" tube, curling the envelope until she could slip the card in the tube also. It was true, the envelope contained a store bought card with a printed Christmas scene on the front. It also contained a handwritten message, one she must have written twenty drafts of before finally settling on this arrangement of words. Words describing how much Jim meant to her, how his jokes made this place bearable, how his reactions to her drawings encouraged her, how his smile was the best part of her day.

She looked up to find the camera still firmly on her, and knew Jason was picking up on her nervousness. She fumbled a little as she wrapped up her gift (thankfully gift-wrapping tubes was more-or-less foolproof) then lamely excused herself to put her gift with the others under the Christmas tree near the conference room.

When the moment came for Jim to unwrap his present, Pam got the reaction she was wanting: Jim's eyes became big and he exclaimed "Wow" as he turned the drawing around to show everyone.

"Ah well, good to see someone got a nice homemade gift," Michael chimed in, still bitter over his Secret Santa gift of a knitted oven mitt.

The rest of the office quickly started to berate Michael for being rude about Phyllis' gift and for not following the $20 limit rule with his expensive video iPod for Ryan. Once Michael let it slip that he got a $3000 bonus, the Secret Santa exchange was more or less over and everyone started to slink back to their desks.

"Pam, why aren't the Christmas cookies out?" Angela said, storming out of the conference room. "I gave you the simplest task I could but I guess…"

"I'll get them Angela," Pam snapped back, one eye on Jim, who was walking over with his gift in hand but turned away before he got caught in Angela's crossfire.

Once Pam had the cookies set up to Angela's satisfaction, Michael waltzed in with several large bottles of vodka. Music started playing from some speakers in the accountants' corner and small paper cups with vodka shots in them were being passed around. Pam cut herself off after one, not eager to have a repeat of that September's Dundies award where she got so drunk she was falling off of chairs. Besides, watching everyone else get sloshed was almost as enjoyable.

She was in the breakroom getting some water when the door opened. "Beeeeesly," Jim drew out her name in a low husky voice, and she felt her cheeks warm she imagined him using that tone of voice in other, non-work situations. "I have a problem." 

Pam looked up to Jim, who had definitely not cut himself off after one Dixie cup shot and was standing a little wobbly and a little too close to her. The paper tubes containing her gifts were in his hand. "What would that be, Halpert?" she said in the steadiest voice she could manage.

"This tube here says, 'Top Secret, open when alone', but I'm not alone and I want to open it now. It not - it's not funny," he said, smiling at her giggling. He looked over his shoulder to the main room, then turned back and eyed the opposite door to the annex. "Hey, let's..."

He took her hand and Pam was sure she forgot to breath for a moment as he lead her past the break room, through the back door of the office, finally to a rarely used hallway bench. They plopped down and once their laughter subsided it was very quiet.

"This Christmas gift is amazing, Pam," Jim said, pulling and unfurling her drawing from the first tube. "How long did this take?" 

"Oh, not long, I mean, I've been working on it for a couple weeks."

"A couple weeks? That's just - you know how long it took me to get Stanley's gift? Like 30 seconds because I was at the bookstore anyway and saw a crossword puzzle anthology and said, 'Bingo!'"

Pam giggled again at his "Bingo" and him slurring "puzzle anthology" into something along the lines of "puzzintholgy". He asked was what funny and she smiled, "You being drunk is what's funny."

"I'm not that drunk," Jim said. Pam arched an eyebrow and he laughed, "Okay, I'm pretty drunk, but not nearly as drunk as you at the Dundies."

"Oh, God, I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

"No, it wasn't bad, it was fun, you're a cute drunk," Jim said, grin on his face, and Pam had to turn away lest he saw her crimson-colored cheeks. "So, do you think we're alone enough I can open this other tube?"

Pam smiled and shrugged, and Jim started picking off the tape at the end of the tube, then her eyes widened. "Hey you know what, it's a little fragile so why don't I do it?" 

Jim clearly didn't think anything of her request and nodded, handing her the tube. Pam held it upright, gripped the plastic cap, and yanked it off, setting it flying across the hallway. Had Jim been any less drunk he would have noticed Pam's exaggerated stunt but he simply stood and took a step forward to retrieve the white cap, giving Pam just enough time to pull out an envelope, and slip it up under the back of her shirt and down into the waistband her pencil skirt.

"Wow, leaning over was definitely a mistake," Jim said when he returned to the bench, putting a hand to his head to apparently stop the spinning.

Pam smiled and pulled the second drawing from the tube and motioned to the rolled up drawing next to Jim's thigh. "Unroll the drawing." Jim complied and Pam unfurled the acetate, setting it over the first paper of the office.

His brows met and he looked at the drawing with the overlay, confused as to what he was suppose to see. Pam pointed to a sign she drew in the back saying "Warning: Quicksand!" and smiled as the realization washed over Jim's face. "Oh, is this . . . that thing we were talking about this summer? The Dunder Mifflin Quagmire?" 

Pam nodded and Jim burst out laughing.

"Oh my God, this is hilarious. Look at Michael," Jim pointed the head of Michael peaking just above the quicksand surface. "And Stanley, still doing crosswords 'til the bitter end." He eyes fell one side of the drawing. "I see we're both roughly about waist deep," Jim said, pointing to the caricatures of himself and Pam. "Though I have been here longer." 

"Well you know, we're in this together," Pam said.

Jim grinned and he reached over to give her hand a squeeze. His large warm hand stayed on hers and Pam felt her cheeks burn yet again, then lifted her hand to point to the drawing.

"Note the defiant Schrute fist," she said.

Jim chuckled and leaned back, resting his head against the wall. "I can say for certain this will be the highlight of Christmas this year," he half-smiled for a moment before he cast his eyes down.

"I'm sure you and Lisa will have a nice Christmas together," Pam said reluctantly.

"Yeah, until we drive to her folks in Wilkes-Barre and I get an earful," Jim said under his breath. He looked at Pam's worried face and then shook his head, "Thanksgiving with her family was a lot of 'When's the wedding?', 'If you're gonna do summer, you should start planning now,' and 'You don't want a long engagement,' type comments and it's just…."

Pam was quiet for a moment, looking at a scuff on the floor and trying to determine how to respond. "What did Lisa say about it." It was safe, neutral, which was always how she tried to be when faced with Jim's relationship issues.

"She didn't say anything because I think she wants me to set the date, probably some test to get me to be more decisive or something," Jim said, his voice laced with irritation. His eyes met Pam's and the hallway was eerily quiet again for several moments before he smiled, "You know what, you are too sober, I think we need to level the playing field." He stood carefully and reached out his hand.

Pam wanted to protest but she had always been powerless against that impish grin and those sparkling eyes so she put her hand in his and he helped her up. They returned to the back door and when they reached the kitchen they could see the party going strong in main room.

"Michael!" Jim shouted through kitchen door, "We need more shots back here."

Michael made a beeline with a vodka jug in one hand and some shot glasses of unknown origin in the other.

"Beesly is almost sober so she needs two very full shots," Jim said.

"Two shots for the lady," Michael proclaimed, impressing Pam with his steadiness as he poured vodka from the gigantic bottle to the tiny glasses.

The shots had their desired effect quickly, Pam felt giddy and warm, quickly joining Meredith and Phyllis dancing in the middle of the room and mostly ignoring the cameras in the corner and Angela's scowling glances from the conference room. During one dance move, a corner of the envelope in her waistband dug into her skin and Pam excused herself to her desk, removing the card and slipping it into a drawer. She look up and saw the cameras just past the copier and sighed, unsure if it was worst that she lost her nerve or that the crew knew it. 

"You're not working, are you?" Jim leaned on his arms at his usual spot at her desk. "If so we need more shots." 

Pam laughed and walked to the other side of the desk to where Jim stood. She grabbed a candy from a disc by the "Reception" sign and Kevin wandered by. He looked to the ceiling then to her and Jim and gave them a chuckle before walking off.

Pam watched him with knitted brows until Jim softly said, "Huh, look at that." She turned to find him looking up at a sprig of mistletoe hanging above them.

"Wow, that was definitely not there an hour ago," Pam said. She looked to Jim, who was giving her a half-grin, and she felt a flutter in her stomach. "I don't think anything happens if you ignore mistletoe, right? Like seven years bad luck?" 

"We'll make a new tradition," Jim turned to face her and opened up his arms, "friendly mistletoe hug." Pam giggle and Jim moved in closer, "C'mon, you know you want to."

Pam raised her arms and smiled as Jim wrapped his arms around her middle, giving her a big drunken bear hug. He squeezed her tight and lifted her off the ground briefly and she let out a very high-pitched laughed that she knew immediately drew everyone's attention. But Jim didn't seem to care, just laughed as he set her down and took a step back. He looked to the door and the smile faded from his face a bit. Pam turned and saw Lisa, eyes a bit wide and lips screwed up to the side.

"So much for the boring office party, huh?" Lisa said in a sarcastically cheery tone.

Pam looked back to Jim, who was scratching the back of his neck and looking to the floor.

"You didn't have to lie, if you don't want me to come just say it," Lisa continued, her tone now more upset. 

"It really was just a boring party when I text you back earlier," Jim said. Pam stood frozen between the two, not wanting to make any sort of move.

"Oh, good, you're drunk too!" She turned on her heels and walked to the front door.

"Lisa!" Jim pushed passed Pam to follow Lisa into the hall, and Pam turned to see most of her co-workers had their attention aimed towards the reception desk.

"Lampshade on the head! It's happening!" Michael came stumbling out of his office, and Pam had never been more grateful for her boss's constant need for attention as everyone instantly turned to him and started laughing and whooping it up.

Not wanting to appear like she was watching Jim and Lisa argue just on the other side of the door, Pam walked into the conference room for cookies and some punch. That also turned out to be a mistake as the cameras accosted her to ask how she was enjoying the Christmas Party. 

"It's actually been pretty fun, everyone seems pretty happy, but that's probably just the vodka, and my christmas gift went over pretty well." She nodded but Jason and Brian just stared at her, and she knew they weren't going to let her get away without addressing the card. "I, um, I realized that I mixed up my cards, I'm pretty sure Jim's card is in an envelope with my Aunt Sue's name on at home so I'll have to get it to him later." There was no way they bought her story but she didn't much care, and took her punch glass and cookies and left the conference room before they could ask anything else.

Kelly was at the candy dish at reception, giving Pam a good excuse to hang out there and keep at eye on the door, where Lisa and Jim were no longer in view. Jim returned by himself a few moments later and gave Pam a small smile before walking to his desk to get his coat and messenger bag.

"You're leaving?" Kelly exclaimed as Jim started to head for the door.

"Yeah, my ride home is here, and will hopefully still be here by the time I get downstairs," Jim said, his eye on Pam.

Kelly wished Jim a Merry Christmas, then stepped forward and gave him a hug, squeezing all the breath out of him. He looked to Pam and gave her an exhausted grinn, "Thanks so much for the gift again, it's … it's really great." 

Pam nodded and he set off, the camera crew close behind and catching him for a "talking head" just outside the door. At one point he glanced over to her through the blinds, and Pam quickly turned her attention to her shoes.

Kevin walked by again and stopped, looking to the ceiling then to Pam and Kelly standing there. "Nice," he said with a sly smile and Kelly, seeing the mistletoe, started calling him a "creep" and a "perv" and stormed off. Alone at her desk, Pam took one more glance to the front door and saw Jim was gone.

***

Pam didn't regret taking back the card that day, it was clearly not the right time, but the fact that she had managed to keep track of it after leaving Dunder Mifflin and basically moving twice felt like a sign that perhaps she should give it to him, maybe even this Christmas…

It turned out she had fretted about showing up at Jim's unannounced for nothing, Mark answered the door (and yes, was still in his flannel pajama bottoms at four p.m.) and told her Jim was at the mall shopping for work clothes. "You're free to hang out here until he gets back," Mark added.

Pam shook her head, "That's okay, I'm on my way to drop off some things at my parents', I'll catch up with him later."

After parking and taking the escalators to the upper level of the Steamtown Mall, Pam scanned the main atrium for Jim. She was ready to give it up and just try calling him when she saw the familiar lanky figure, a department store bag in his hand. Pam couldn't help grinning widely watching him walk, then drew in her breath as he slowed his stride then stopped to study the display at a jewelry store.

Pam reached for her phone and she told herself it was a lack of food making her fingers tremble and she typed out some quip about him looking good with a diamond stud earring. She quickly erased that at settled on, "Hey there, Mallrat" and pressed send.

She laughed as he pulled his phone out of his pockets, read the message and started looking around. Her smile faded when a woman with bouncy red hair ran up to Jim, throwing herself into his arms.