Pam had always remembered that summer so clearly, or at least she thought she did. Her older brother Rick (he’d been fourteen that year) had always played with whatever random kids had been hanging around in the neighborhood, while Pam was pretty much alone that summer, what with her best friend Beth at sleep away camp. But it was also the summer that Pam found out just how much she loved to draw and take pictures and do anything artsy, and she’d never forgotten that. She felt like it might change her life, in the hopeful way that twelve year olds have, but it also seemed like no one really cared. Her mom thought they were “beautiful, Pammy!”, and Jill (she was, what, nine that year?) loved being the subject of Pam’s drawings and photos, but no one would’ve believed Pam if she’d said she thought she wanted to be an artist (or that’s what she thought at that point).
Another thing Pam had never forgotten about that same summer was that boy. She’d never known his name, but she’d seen him around the neighborhood once or twice, right after school got out and Beth went away. Once her mom had caught her watching him through the living room window, sketching him as he circled up and down the street on his bike. A few little hearts were scattered around that page. Pam had blushed, but her mom had just smiled at her. “He is cute, isn’t he, Pammy?” Pam had nodded and smiled and gone back to watching him. He wasn’t just cute – he was everything. The way he smiled when a few kids passed him riding their bikes, the way his hair kind of flopped around his face, the way his limbs looked like they were a little bit too long for his body, but especially the smile. It made him look like he was lit up from the inside, and it made Pam feel the same way. She’d never forgotten that feeling, that was for sure. She’d just never made the connection when Jim made her feel that same way almost every day.
And the photo? She could remember that day almost too clearly, now that she thought about it. Sure, the edges were a little fuzzy, but who remembered the edges? Pam had been laying in the grass in front of their house doodling in her sketchbook, but she got sick of drawing the same things over and over again, so she went into the house and got her camera. Settling back down into the same spot, she took a few pictures of their lawn, the blades of grass close up and like an army of tiny green swords pointing straight at the sky, and then realized there wasn’t too much she hadn’t taken pictures of yet that summer, even that boy. She’d managed to take a few pictures of him about a week earlier, when he’d played basketball with Rick and some of his friends. He was good at it, and his laugh made Pam want to be around him forever.
Just then, Pam watched as a few kids on bikes pedaled leisurely around the corner of the street, just a few houses down from her. He was with them, lagging near the back, but still smiling and joking. Pam kind of wanted to run in the house and hide, but she didn’t, for whatever reason. Then she heard the tinkling and jingling that signaled the ice cream truck, coming around the other corner. Most of the boys who were now almost at Pam’s house ignored it, but the boy, the only one that really mattered, said he was going to stop and get an ice cream, slowing down in front of Pam’s house. He had climbed off his bike and let it drop at the foot of Pam’s driveway, smiling at her once before he turned and flagged down the ice cream truck. That smile, directed at her? Well, she decided she wanted to see that every day, for the rest of her life.
He’d gotten a sno cone, the kind with not quite enough flavoring, and before he paid the guy, he asked her over his shoulder if she wanted anything. She just shook her head. He paid, then, and wandered back over to his bike, nudging it with his sneaker as he started on his sno cone. Then he looked back up at Pam, and she tried to breathe normally as he came over to where she was.
“What’re you doing?” he asked, standing a few feet away in the green grass, looking at her and then at the sketchbook next to her. “You draw?”
She nodded, hoping against all hope that this wasn’t the sketchbook that had the doodles of him on his bike in it. “Um, yeah.”
“Can I see? Unless you don’t want to show me, ‘cause I can just…”
“No!” She cut him off, wanting to show him her work, for whatever reason. Pushing herself into a sitting position, she picked up the book and handed it to him. “You can look.” He handed her his sno cone in exchange. Pam raised an eyebrow at him.
“We wouldn’t want to get, well, water, I guess. Anyway, we wouldn’t want to get anything on it, right?” He’d laughed a little bit, and she couldn’t help but laugh with him. It was the best thing she’d ever felt, laughing with him. As he flipped through the book, she tried not to look at him, instead holding the sno cone in one hand and picking her camera back up to take a close up shot of the colored ice. She loved the way it looked through her viewfinder, and snapped a few pictures before she realized that he was watching her, not looking at the sketches anymore.
Smiling at her again, he reached down and took back his sno cone, handing her the sketchbook. “You take pictures too? You’re really talented.” Blushing, Pam just shook her head.
“I really don’t think I’m that talented at all.”
“No, seriously. Those sketches…” he looked like he was just as embarrassed as Pam, on footing just as unsure. “They’re really nice. D’you want to be an artist when you grow up? Because I think you definitely could. Be an artist, I mean.” Pam was blushing harder now, and the smile on her face was starting to hurt.
“Thanks.” She wanted to say so much more, but with him smiling down at her like that, she almost couldn’t breathe.
That’s when his smile changed, into more of a grin, like he was up to something. “So, you take pictures too, right?” When Pam nodded, his grin got even bigger. “Take one of me?”
“W-what?” Pam sputtered, utterly shocked. “Er, I mean, why?”
“Well…” his grin shrunk a bit, and he looked down at his hi-tops. But then he looked brightly up at her again. “Practice makes perfect, right?”
Pam had nodded, biting her lip and smiling. “Alright.” So she’d picked up her camera and taken a picture of him, smiling the most perfect smile she’d even seen, sno cone in one hand, his hair moving a little bit in the breeze.
That’s when the other kids came back around the corner on the bikes, looking for him.
“Hey, you coming or not?” one kid yelled in their general direction.
Jim looked over at him, and then back down at Pam. He half-smiled at her and sort of shrugged, and then retrieved his bike, climbing on and eating his sno cone at the same time. As he pedaled over to the other kids, he looked back over his shoulder at her, once, and she smiled, even waving to him a little bit.
His family moved the next week, to a different development on the other side of town. She had cried as she watched the moving truck following their blue station wagon down the street and out onto the main road. Her mom had rubbed her back consolingly and smiled at her. “Don’t worry, Pammy. There are other fish in the sea.”
And Pam, now 26, sitting on her couch, holding the photo album like her life depended on it, realized how un-true that had been.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
This chapter is a little bit longer than the others - I hope you guys don't mind. ;)
This chapter is a little bit longer than the others - I hope you guys don't mind. ;)
