For what seemed like months she's tossed and turned, her sleep incredibly fitful.  

In many ways having him back was worse than not having him at all.

xoxoxo

Streamers were draped across every surface, an arch of balloons framed the conference room door.  Pam couldn't tell what it was they were celebrating but as usual - it hardly mattered.

She felt like she'd lost something - like her keys or an earring.  Something important.  Something she'd miss if she failed to find it again.

The sound of laughter startled her.  She looked over and saw that they were laughing, together. 

Karen was sitting on the edge of the desk - Jim was smiling up at her -  both of them laughing.

It almost seemed like they were laughing at her.

A tear slipped from her eye and Pam brushed a hand against her cheek, her fingers coming in contact with something felt-like.  She turned around, caught her reflection in the glass of the conference room.  She wore a cat mask, leopard print, the nylon whiskers brushed against her cheeks.   

Halloween? 

It would make sense but somehow she didn't think so.  No one else seemed to be in costume.   Music blared in the background, an electric keyboard competed with the sound of steel drums.  Kelly and Ryan sat at Stanley's desk, sharing a margarita, sipping from two bendable straws. 

Karen laughed again, the sound piercing Pam's eardrums.  It's almost as if Dwight had sounded the air horn he kept in his bottom desk drawer.  Pam held one hand to her ear as she rummaged through her purse searching for whatever it was she couldn't find - becoming more desperate by the minute.   She couldn't catch her breath, her chest tightened, blood rushed to her brain as she looked up, and then stood frozen in place.  All she could do was watch.

Jim was now kneeling next to his chair.  Karen smiled at him, clapping her hands together as he presented her with a small velvet box.  

It was too much to bear.  Pam summoned all her strength and finally opened her mouth. 

To her horror, all that came out was a sound very much like a meow.

"He can't hear you."  Angela sighed and rolled her eyes. 

Jim reached into the box and pulled out what looked like an enamel pin.  He reached up and fastened it to the lapel of Karen's suit.

"Happy Anniversary."  Pam heard him whisper.  "Days like these need to be commemorated."

Jim's voice sounded so odd, his choice of words so unlike him.  It was clear now what he presented to Karen was not a ring - yet it seemed to Pam like that fact was completely irrelevant.  It might as well have been a four-carat diamond, when you factored in Karen's reaction.

Jim turned towards Pam but his face held no trace of affection.  He was smiling still - but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Meeeeeeeeeowwwwwwww."  Pam looked at Angela desperately.  What the hell was going on? 

"Cat got your tongue, Pam?"  Michael snorted as he walked past, wearing a grass skirt and carrying a tray filled with Cinnabons.

"Meow!"  Pam snapped back, her hands flying to her throat when she heard the sound of her voice again.   She couldn't understand why it was the only sound she could make.

"Please Pam.  Watch your mouth."  Angela pulled Pam by the elbow, bringing her closer to where Jim and Karen were wrapped in an embrace.   "Go ahead.  Try again.  Start at the beginning."

Pam turned to face Angela, her voice rising in pitch with each mewl she made.

"No.  Not like that.  Stop screaming.  Ladies should speak in dulcet tones.  If you do he will hear you." Angela replied.  "He can't now because you're simply not saying it right."

Pam blinked at the realization that Angela seemed to understand what she was saying when no one else could. 

She shook her head and tried again, her voice still a garble of purrs and whimpers.  Angela's mouth formed a thin line as her eyes bore into her own.

"The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion."  Angela continued as she released Pam's arm and walked back towards her own desk. She stopped briefly and gave her a final disapproving glare.

"All could have been avoided if you'd just taken my token of appreciation. This is what happens when you don't accept a gift freely given.  Haven't you learned that yet?" 

With that, Angela turned her heel, leaving Pam feeling more alone than ever.

The dream was one of those that stayed with her, creeping in during waking hours, coming back to haunt her each night. 

She walked towards her car, the night air chilling her skin and she shivered, pulling her sleeves over her hands to warm them.

To her surprise Jim stood a few yards away - and for once - was blessedly alone.  His back was turned, his shoulders hunched a bit.  

Pam pushed back the rising fear and spurred herself onward, one simple phrase repeating over and over in her mind. 

It's time.

She moved quietly, not wanting to startle him.  Her hand reached up and curled around his arm urging him to face her.

And when she finally opened her mouth, the look on his face let her know that he'd understood every word.