Angela Martin had an ominous feeling as she walked to her car late at night. She didn’t know why she was leaving the office so late, and walking all alone by herself. Being that she was a 90-pound female who worked for a company with a propensity to hire ex-cons, this wasn’t the smartest move. Stupid Angela, you know better than that.

Suddenly she heard voices and footsteps. Her heart was pounding now, realizing that in the pitch-black night someone could be coming after her from any direction. Angela tried to quicken her pace to the car, but her legs didn’t seem to have any strength. Every time she tried to speed up, it only seemed to make her slower. The sounds kept increasing. "Is someone there?" she said, shaking with every word.

"Is everything alright?" a familiar voice said from the shadows.

When he eventually came into view, Angela saw her beautiful, wonderful savior. He was her knight in shining armor. He would rescue her and hold her tight and keep her safe forever. "I just heard some voices and footsteps. I’m such a little woman, I didn’t know what to do," Angela replied. She couldn’t understand why, but her voice seemed to sound much higher than usual.

"Well, I’m here now," he said seductively.

"Thank you, Roy," she replied.

"In fact, I can give you a ride home or to my…," but his voice trailed off.

"To your what?" Angela cried out.

"Monkey," she heard another familiar voice say, but tried to ignore it.
"Mooooonkey."

When she opened her eyes, she saw it was Dwight standing over her. She bolted out of bed, feeling a little guilty, as if maybe he heard parts of her dream. “What time is it?”

“6:30 AM,” Dwight pronounced in that officious manner which usually turned her on, but was a bit much this early in the morning. “And calculating the time it takes for the female species to get ready, travel time to your apartment and then to work, and accounting for any potential beet catastrophes, we should make it to work right on time.”

“Thank you, Dwight.“ Satisfied that Dwight hadn’t figured out her dream, Angela began to get ready for work.

“Question,” Dwight proclaimed. “When do I get to reveal that Jim and Pam were kissing after hours?”

“Not now, Dwight. Pam was very honorable in not revealing our relationship. It would not be right for us to do the same, unless we had a reason of course.”

“What about the fact that he wastes company time with childish pranks that reduce my efficiency and undermine the entire fabric of Dunder-Mifflin?” Dwight protested.

“No, but I will talk to Pam about that today,” turning her evil grin up to the highest setting. “We’ll see just how honorable she can be.”

“Fine, but can I at least return this today?” Dwight asked as he held up a warehouse shirt. “This is inappropriate use of company property.”

Angela sighed. “Fine, but if your cookies don’t … taste quite as good from now on, don’t blame me.”

In what was seemingly a very different universe, Jim and Pam were also getting ready for work. It had been one week since their first date and already they seemed to have fallen into a regular couples routine. They took turns staying at each other’s apartments, perfected the timing of their morning hygiene rituals, and always managed to save enough time for a quick romp in the sack before work. This started to bother Pam just a little bit. Deep down, she missed the excitement of their first few dates.

“Do you think things are becoming a little too casual between us?”

“What do you mean?” Jim casually replied.

“Don’t get me wrong, Jim. I’m very happy. I promise. It’s just that it almost seemed more exciting when things were still awkward.”

“Oh, you want me to do awkward? Because I can still do awkward, Beesley. I perfected it for 3 years.”

Pam laughed. “No. I just mean it seems like we have this standard rhythm now.”

“But isn’t rhythm good?” Jim said. Then he put on his playful face. “Or are you afraid the rhythm is gonna get you?” Jim continued by singing, “Rhythm is gonna getcha! Rhythm is gonna getcha! Rhythm is gonna get you tonight!”

Pam was giggling uncontrollably now. “You are such a dork. I love you, Jim Halpert.” At that, they both paused for a minute, realizing what Pam just said. “Is that the first time I said that?”

“I believe so, and it was only a year after I said it, so good turnaround time,” Jim said, grinning from ear to ear. “Although you did make some sounds last night that could be interpreted as the same thing.”

“Leave it to you to take a special moment and turn it into a joke.”

“Isn’t that what you love about me?”

“No, what I love about you is that you buy me wonderful gifts. Like this digital voice recorder,” Pam said with a mischievous grin spreading across her face. She pressed play and Jim was horrified to hear his own voice singing from a few moments earlier. “Suck on that, Halpert.”

“Beesley, you’re gonna erase that, right?” as he tried to grab the recorder.

Pam backed away from his reach and started giggling again. “In fact, I think I might play this for Andy and tell him you want to do a duet.”

“Oh no, you’re gonna get it now,” Jim said and he began chasing her around the apartment. He eventually caught up to her on the couch, where he started tickling her.

“Uncle! Uncle!” Pam shouted, and they both collapsed on the couch.

“Pam?”

“Yes?”

“I love you, too.” He then pulled her into a deep kiss, and they suddenly decided that being a few minutes late to work wouldn’t be so bad.

Angela saw Pam arrive and immediately walked over to her. “You’re late,” Angela said.

“Um, yeah, sorry about that. Wait, why do you care if I’m late?” Pam asked.

“It is unprofessional behavior,” Angela sharply replied.

“Is there something I can help you with Angela?” Pam asked wearily.

“Well I just wanted to let you know that I haven’t told anyone.”

“Told anyone what?”

“You know, about you … and Jack?” Angela replied, annoyed that Pam was playing dumb. “You were very nice to Noelle and Kurt, so she has told Kurt not to say anything.”

“Oh, thank you,” Pam replied, not knowing what to make of this. She was sure Angela had some ulterior motive.

“I just have one request,” Angela said. “Tell Jack to stop playing pranks on Kurt.”

“I can’t tell him what to do, Angela,” Pam said sincerely.

“Please. He gave up a corporate job for you, ditched his very attractive significant other in New York, and spent the last three years glued to your desk. That man will do anything for you. Don’t be stupid.” With that, Angela walked away triumphantly.

Pam thought about that for a few minutes, then composed an e-mail to Angela:

We have a deal under one condition. Kurt cannot provoke Jack.

A few minutes later came Angela’s response:

Fine.

While this was going on, Jim’s day was getting off to a rough start. He got called into Michael’s office, always a precarious event. "You needed to see me?” Jim asked.

"Hey Jimbo! Come on in and sit down. Oh and shut the door, please." Jim didn’t like the sound of that, but he obliged. "I need my role play mastah here."

"Look Michael, I don’t mind helping you out, but I really don’t want to be Jan again," Jim said.

"No no, this isn’t about Jan. I got her a prescription for something. I don’t remember what it was, but she should be sleeping right now."

"Oh," Jim muttered, wishing he hadn’t heard that.

"Ryan is making his first visit to the branch next week as my boss, so I want to be prepared. I want you to play Ryan, and explain why you betrayed me."

"Yeah, that won’t be awkward," Jim whispered to himself.

“OK, hold on while I warm up.” Michael went through a series of meditative exercises that were so bizarre Jim almost though his boss was having a seizure. “Now I’m ready. Ryan, why did you betray me?”

“Uhhh, I didn‘t betray you. I just applied for a better job that paid more money.”

Michael was clearly not pleased with this response. “Come on, Jim. You really think Ryan would say that? You can do better than that. Let’s try it again. Ryan, why did you betray me?”

Jim shrugged and decided to make the best of it. “Because I’m awesome and above everyone that works here, even though I can’t make a sale or treat my girlfriend right.”

“That’s brilliant!” Michael said with awe. “Excellent. Now we’re off to a good start.”

“Start?” Jim replied helplessly.

It would be another hour before Jim could escape Michael’s office. He immediately went to Pam’s desk for some relief. “What’s Jan up to now?” Pam asked.

“Actually, this one was about Ryan.”

“I have a huge favor to ask you,” Pam said.

“Whatever you want, Beesley.”

“I need you to stop playing pranks on Dwight.”

“What?” a confused Jim replied.

“Well, it was Angela’s request. I guess I should have told you this sooner, but she and Dwight are together.”

“Oh yeah, I knew about that.”

“What? And you didn’t tell me?”

“Well you didn’t tell me, so suck it,” he said playfully.

She smiled. “That’s my phrase.”

“So we’re really gonna let her blackmail us?”

“Well, I got her to promise that he wouldn’t provoke you. I think it’s best that we go along with this for now, at least until we know why Karen went to Toby.”

“Come on, you don’t think Toby would actually forward any complaints about us, do you?”

“Probably not, but it’s best to make sure.”

“Fair enough, but you owe me a grape soda,” he replied.

Pam made her way to the break room to grab said soda, where she ran into Karen. “Oh, hi,” Pam said cautiously. Karen acknowledged her, but didn’t reply. The tension was too much to bear, so Pam grabbed the soda and began to leave.

“Pam?” Karen asked before Pam could leave.

Pam stopped and turned around, a little worried where this might be going. “Yes?

Karen started to say something, but stopped. Then she changed her mind and began again. “I was just thinking that we should have a Party Planning meeting soon to discuss a Memorial Day party.”

“That’s a great idea,” a relieved Pam replied. “I’ll go tell Angela.” Pam walked away, satisfied that progress was being made and maybe it wouldn’t be so awkward at work much longer.

Back at his desk, Jim looked up at Dwight. “Hey Dwight.”

“Hello Jim,” Dwight replied evenly.

They both looked at each other for a few moments, realizing that neither could say nor do what they really wanted. Without anything else to do, they both went back to work. It would be one of the most productive days of Jim’s Dunder-Mifflin career.