fJim shut Michael’s office door with a grin spread across his face. Pam looked on with a similar smile draped over her cheeks as well. Before heading back to his desk, he stopped by for a jellybean.
Pam looked up, her brows lifted and her amusement beaming. “So…are you taking the secret mission from Agent Scarn?”
----
"Yeah, I decided to take Michael up on his offer. Even though I have no clue what I'm doing...this will allow for many ample opportunities to pester Dwight....and possibly, use some of my Assistant Regional Manager power. Yeah, this is going to be...fun," Jim said, nodding with a smile.
-----
Jim pushed the jellybean past his lips as he took in a breath. “Indeed. I will be throwing down the gauntlet on you party planning ladies…”
“Oh no. Angela’s going to have a cow. You know that, right?” Pam said, her eyes wide.
“Who cares? Michael put me in charge of the festivities…”
Just as Jim was about to finish, Pam turned her head quickly towards the partition between her and Angela. There it was; the top of a blond head poking over the cubical with a ponytail swaying. As Pam turned her head, Angela quickly dipped down low to avoid contact with Jim and Pam. Instead of returning back to her work, she came around the side of the partition and spoke.
“What do you mean you’re in charge? You’ve never been a part of the Planning Party Committee before…” she said, her hands on her hips. "We’ve already started planning."
----
With a look of disgust on her face, Angela shifts in her chair. Behind her, Dwight is sitting in his chair and looking towards her direction. "It sickens me. I've worked hard to maintain my place as the head of the Planning Part Committee. No one else can carry the position with the same class and grace as I have done for several years. Just because Michael has replaced me, this party will be a disaster. Just you wait and see. Just wait...." she said, crossing her arms over her chest.
----
“You’re right. I’ve never been a part of planning these things…but, there is a first for everything.” Jim said, putting a green jellybean to his lips.
“Besides, I’ve had a lot of experience planning parties and I’m sure Jim would be more than happy to have my expertise at his disposal,” Pam included.
Angela glared back and forth between Jim and Pam. Michael came out of his office, seemingly because he overheard Angela’s riff.
“Now…what’s the big deal? Ye of little faith, Angela. Jimbo’s gonna do a great job. I fully trust him…” Michael said, slapping Jim on the back and nearly causing him to choke on the green jellybean lodged in his throat.
“He doesn’t know what he’s doing!” Angela protested.
“Be patient. Those who give opportunities to others so they can succeed will win in the end….” Michael said, looking earnestly into Angela’s eyes. “The Bible states that clearly. You of all people should know….that.”
“Where does it say that?” she asked, lifting her chin and an eyebrow.
Michael glanced at the floor as Jim and Pam watched him struggle to find the words. “Um, in 2nd Opinions 2:11, I think. You know…right after….the book of Moses and Noah.”
Jim cracked a smile. “And, just who’s Bible are you reading from, Michael?” he said, egging him on further. .
Angela spoke low, “Satan’s…”
Michael, now frustrated, waved his hands in the air. “You know what? Just…shut it. I don’t need you all arguing over who is in charge. I’m the head honcho here. Jim’s second in command and then Angela, you are next on the list…”
Dwight cooed behind him. “What about me, Michael?”
Michael tired to ignore Dwight’s attempts at fitting in. “No…you’re not helping…unless I really need you. Then you’re back up,” Michael said, scratching above his eyebrow. Dwight pumped his fist in victory. “I don’t need you all fighting when this is the biggest moment of our lives….so, just…relax folks,” Michael said, addressing the office.
Pam decided to take a stab at Michael. “I thought getting married and having children were supposed to be the most important moments in life, Michael. I mean…” she said, grinning slyly towards Jim who was nodding in approval.
“Okay…you know…I’m getting sick of this. Just accept the fact that my idea for the 7/7/07 party is brilliant and you didn’t think of it first…God, I mean I’m even letting you guys plan it! Isn’t that enough? I come up with the ideas, give you all the details and all you have to do is do everything I say. Is that so difficult?”
Just then, Kevin’s voice boomed from across the room. “Yeah, I heard about that on the radio the other day and-”
Michael cut him off before Kevin could finish. “No, Kevin. This is solely my doing. No one will steal my thunder. No one! You hear me!” he said, trailing off and heading towards his office door. “Now, get back to work you….you, slackers!” he yelled, stepping into the his office. "Well, except for everyone involved in planning the party...that's priority from now on," he stated, slamming his office door behind him.
As soon as Michael had shut his office door, Angela turned on her heel and trotted back to her desk. With a smile of satisfaction, Pam slid Michael’s list of items he wanted for the party towards Jim. As his brow furrowed, Jim picked the piece of paper off the counter and began to skim the list. After he finished reading, he looked down at Pam, who had a smile spread across her face.
“Are you serious? This is what he wants…and I’m in charge of getting it?” he asked, pointing to his chest.
Pam nodded. “Oh yeah. I think he’s already ordered the cakes…you’ve got to come up with the rest. Even the petting zoo and clowns.”
“This is not the reason I signed up for this. No way…” Jim said, shaking his head.
“And, exactly why did you sign up to do this?” she asked, resting her chin in her palm.
Jim leaned in closer, to avoid anyone eavesdropping and probably for other selfish reasons, he whispered, “Come on. Perfect set-up to drive Dwight up a wall. I couldn’t let this get away from me.”
Pam tapped the paper hanging in his hands. “Well…here you go. Have fun.”
“Oh no. You’re not getting out of this. I need help, Beesley,” Jim said, giving his closest puppy-dog impression he could muster up.
“Don’t give me that. I already deal with Michael all day. Planning his ‘brain-child’ would be suicide,” she said, holding up her hands in a sign of surrender.
“Don’t you want sweet satisfaction when we pull out all the stops on Dwight? I mean, this is really going to be the blow-out of the year!” he said, getting a wee-bit too excited.
“Wow. You sound just like Michael,” she said, focusing on her computer screen.
Jim’s mouth hung open. “Okay….I guess I can do this by myself then,” he said, taking the list and walking slowly back towards his desk. As he sat down, he heard Pam from behind him.
“I’m in.”
----
Pam pushed her bangs back behind her ear. “Picking on Dwight is like the highlight of my life…among other…things,” she said, looking off to the side. “Jim always looks forward to the moments when he can make Dwight miserable. And, I guess…I look forward to those moments too…” she said, a pink color spreading over her cheeks.
-----
“That’s the thing.” Jim started, adjusting his tie. “Pam can’t pass up messing with Dwight. So, of course she is going to help me make his life hell for the next few days. Could life get any better?” he asked as he smiled.
----
Dwight and Angela stood back to back in the break room. Sipping on his coffee, Dwight secretly asked Angela questions.
“What do you know?” Dwight asked, throw clenched teeth.
“Not much. All I know is that Michael has a list of things he wants…and, I gave that list to Pam,” Angela said, checking the windows for intruders.
“Why would you do that? Pam can’t be trusted. She’s friends with Jim and you know how I feel about Jim.”
----
“Jim is not my friend. He may think he is…but, he is, in fact, not. My father always taught me to trust no one. There should only be one person that you can fully trust…and that person, should be yourself. But 99.99% of the time, I rarely trust myself. Because I have a belief that there is a higher power. And if that higher power ever wanted to take over my body and use it for its evil bidding, then I trusted the wrong person. So, I trust no one,” Dwight said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
----
“I know. I wasn’t thinking,“ she said, lowering her gaze to the floor.
“Don’t worry. I’ll fix this. I’ll get the list back and single handedly put together Michael’s party,” Dwight said, puffing out his chest.
“Single-handedly? You don’t want an accomplice?” she asked.
“Who? Kevin is obese, Oscar’s gay, Creed’s passed his age limit, and Stanley isn’t interesting enough. No. I’ll do it on my own.”
Angela‘s eyes glistened. “What if a woman helped you?”
Dwight chuckled. “And, just who do you suggest?”
“Oh, I know someone…” she said, turning slightly to catch the side of Dwight’s face in her line of vision.
“But, who?” he asked, with great desperation.
“Her name starts with…oh, never mind. Me, Dwight! I want to help you,” she said, with anger in her eyes.
“You?” he asked, sipping on his mug again.
“Yes. Now, do you want my help or not?”
“Of course. It’s risky….I’m so glad I thought of it,” he said, stepping out of the break room quickly and leaving Angela and her evil smile alone.
----
“Yes, I was wondering if I could have some of your animals brought into our office for a party,” Jim said over the phone. He stood behind the reception counter, talking softly.
“No. We’re all adults here. It’s just my boss. He wants to have a party on the seventh and requested that he have a petting zoo available. Now, what type of animals do you offer?” Jim asked, scratching something down on his notepad.
“Great. But, um…can I limit it to just one type of animal?” he asked, a smile on his lips. “I can? Great. How many different types of snakes do you have?” Jim asked, almost laughing into the phone when he caught Pam’s expression.
----
Pam smiled. “Michael’s greatest fear is snakes. Jim thought of it. Happy 7/7/07, Michael!”
----
“Just snakes,” Jim said, amusedly smiling and nodding. “ Luckily, they had seven different kinds. I did ask though, that the leave the Boa Constrictor at home. Pam had a hand in planning that one. I can see it now….Michael spending the entire party under his desk…and that gives me another idea,“ Jim said, pulling out a notepad and jotting down a few notes.
-----
“Psst. Andy…” Dwight whispered as he pretended to look at the contents on the shelf behind Andy’s desk.
“Who said that?” Andy asked, looking around with a smug grin.
“It was me…” Dwight whispered again, turning slightly and holding a folder over his face.
“What do you need?” Andy asked, his voice in its normal booming mode.
“Keep your voice down, Bernard. I have a proposition for you.”
Andy turned and faced Dwight. “What’s that?”
“Will you…distract Jim Halpert for me?” Dwight asked, moving the folder down slightly to reveal his mouth.
“Why?”
“Don’t ask. Just keep him distracted while I rummage through Pam’s things,” Dwight said, turning back towards the cabinet and putting his back towards Andy.
“Rummage through Pam’s stuff? What do I get out of the deal?” Andy asked, looking up at Dwight.
“Nothing! I need Michael’s list from her desk. Stop asking questions and distract Jim.”
Behind Andy, Pam handed Creed a message. She paused when she noticed their suspicious behavior. Normally she wouldn’t care, but today had seemed like the day to start exploring her eavesdropping skills.
“Shouldn’t we distract Pam?” Andy asked, not noticing Pam, standing near Creed’s desk.
“Angela is taking care of her. Now, when I give the signal, meet Jim at his desk, distract him and once I get a safe distance away from her desk, you can cut the act. Got it?” Dwight asked, pushing the folder back in it’s proper spot.
“Got it…” Andy said, standing as Dwight fled the area. “Got it…” he mumbled to himself again.
Pam scurried away from the back corner of the office and immediately went to Jim’s side as he sat at his desk. He looked up.
“What’s up?” he asked, putting his pen down on the desk top.
Pam squinted her eyes. “Dwight’s trying to steal Michael’s list of party of items from me.”
“But, I have that list.”
“Dwight doesn’t know that…” she said, looking up to see if he was coming.
“Oh…but, wait…why does Dwight need Michael’s list of stupid party ideas?”
Pam shifted her weight. “I think he wants to plan the party on his own…and, I think we should let him.”
“Do tell,” Jim said, turning in his chair.
“Okay. So, since you already have the official list, why don’t I plant a fake one on my desk, so when the party day comes, Dwight royally screws up the party with horrendous stuff that Michael hates. Then, maybe Michael might really fire him.”
Jim smiled. “Perfect.”
“So, the only thing is…we have to make a new list of things that Michael dislikes and of things that Michael knows that Dwight loves…so, he will automatically suspect him. What could that be?” she asked, leaning closer towards Jim.
“I got it. Harry Potter. I guess I’ve already planted the seed in Dwight’s brain that JK Rowling is coming. Dwight is a huge fan…Michael…I’m not sure. But, it’s obviously Dwight’s calling card if Harry Potter is involved.”
“Good work, Halpert,” Pam said, smiling and heading back towards her desk. “Oh yeah, Andy has been recruited to distract you…Let him,” she said, as she sat down behind the reception counter.
