12:30 came and went, and the workers of Dunder-Mifflin began to slowly file out of the break room. Jim watched them trudge one-by-one back to their desks to run out the clock for the rest of the day. He wasn’t sure if any of their feet actually left the ground as they left. As he watched Phyllis go, she turned to him.

“Good luck Jim, I hope you win.” She winked and smiled at him.

“Thanks Phyllis.” Jim answered back to her, matching her smile with his own. “It may be a while, so…if you get bored you can come hang out with me. I won’t even make you sit next to Dwight.”

Phyllis laughed, “well Jim, I might just do that.” She paused for a second, “but, I’ve got a few calls to make for now at least.”

“Alright, good luck. Though you should know…. now I’m expecting you to give the top salesperson speech at the convention next year.” Phyllis laughed again and left the break room.

As he watched her go, Jim suddenly became aware of a set of eyes upon him.

“What Dwight?”

“Jim, do not joke about the Top Salesman Award. It is prestigious, like a Nobel Prize….or a Dundie. Also, I am winning it again this year. Like Michael, I too will repeat as the top salesman in this company.” Dwight finally blinked, and set his attention back to the game.

“You gave the speech at the convention last year?” Andy asked in what Jim guessed was mock surprise. “You know…I heard that they had a computer glitch in the Big Apple with the sales figures, and Stamford’s numbers got erased. So they decided to just go on the last month’s numbers for that award.” Andy paused again and looked up to the ceiling in what Jim guessed was mock thinking. “Probably explains why the ‘top salesman’ in the company is number 4 in his own branch.”

Dwight adjusted his glasses and took in a large breath. Jim hoped that along with cholesterol, the Schrute mind was powerful enough to lower a heart rate….like, below 200 beats per minute.

“Andy, we have been through this several times and yet your insubordination continues. I am the number 3 man in this branch. I’ve been here longer, have more experience, and know Michael better than you.” Dwight stared across the table at Andy, who stared back with a small smile on his face, clearly delighting in the reaction his comment had provoked.

Jim looked between the two men and sighed. He knew he had to intervene or the conversation would drag on forever.

“You know what guys? Let’s just forget about that stuff for right now ok?” At Jim’s request both Andy and Dwight dropped their eyes from each other and back to their troops and Conquer Cards.

“Alright….” Jim looked around the table and then at the board. “Whose turn is it anyway?”

“Mine,” Kevin answered. He took the three troops that he had earned and placed them in Scandinavia. He stared at the board for a long time and then finally spoke again, “I’m going to attack Peru….from Brazil.”

Dwight scoffed and picked up the white dice. He rolled two 5s. Kevin rolled his three red dice, to a 4, a 1, and a 3.

“Shoot.” Kevin said quietly as he removed two troops from Brazil. None of the numbers on his attacking dice had exceeded the numbers on either of the two dice in Dwight’s defense roll.

“It’s no surprise Kevin.” Dwight said sternly, as though he was lecturing a child. “Attacking Peru with 4 troops when I had 3 stationed there? Foolish and illogical. You were statistically doomed from the start.”

Jim’s attention turned away from Dwight’s reprimand of Kevin. He noticed that not everyone had left the break room to go back to work. Two tables away in the corner, one person had stayed behind. Her head was down, and her eyes were on her lap. Jim’s eyebrows rose in surprise and concern. She was usually….not still and quiet. He decided he should say something to try and shake her from whatever was bothering her.

“Hey Kelly….uh, how’s work going today?” He gave her a tight smile, one of encouragement, one that masked the worry that he had just provoked an avalanche of conversation upon himself.

She looked up at him with eyes that were dark, and an expression on her face that seemed pained. “Oh…its fine. You know, its Friday, before a long weekend, so I’m not like getting any calls at all. I just put it on voicemail, whatever.” She waved her hand dismissively in the air and her eyes went back down to her lap.

Jim was perplexed at her reaction to his question. He had to admit that it was impossible to top Dwight’s intensity as a salesman, but he knew how good Kelly was at her job. In fact, while he was at Stamford he had been on a conference call with Corporate about a company-wide personnel performance review when Jan had mentioned that Kelly had the highest customer satisfaction rate at her position in the entire company. Not to mention that he had never heard her complain about her job, an office record only matched by Dwight.

“Cool, yeah that’s why we’re playing RISK….but, um….so what are you doing with the long weekend? Something exciting?” Jim figured if he could get her on shopping, one way or another, she would light up like a Christmas tree.

“Yeah…well, yeah. I mean, it is exciting, but it also totally sucks…’cause, well, there is like this amazing spa in Harrisburg, right? So I told Ryan that I wanted to go, ‘cause its been for-ever since I’ve been to one, like years. So, because he’s awesome, what does he do? He gets me this super-nice weekend package thingy at the spa. You get to stay in a hotel and everything. So I’m psyched, ‘cause Ryan and I at a spa all weekend? Sooo romantic, right?” Jim’s eyes began to hurt slightly from squinting in concentration, and his neck was tight from all the bobbing it was doing. “….So I tell Ryan that, and what does he say? He’s all like, ‘oh…Kelly, I just got it for you, I’m going to watch the playoffs this weekend’. The playoffs Jim! The playoffs!” Kelly’s hands were gesturing wildly in front of her and her voice threatened to break.

“So now what am I going to do? I mean I should be a good girlfriend right? and stay at home with Ryan? Its not his fault that he didn’t know I wanted to go to the spa with him…but this spa is totally amazing….but I’d be all alone, and thinking about him, and he might choke on a chip or something! He could die, all alone, and where would I be? I’d be in the middle of a mani-pedi! How would I live with myself? I mean I totally wouldn’t, obviously.” Kelly took a breath and paused, looking at Jim.

Jim rubbed his right temple with his index finger and thought how exactly to respond to that. To be honest, he wanted to tell Kelly what Ryan was really doing to her, but he also knew that it wasn’t his place to do that. She was happy. and he had destroyed enough relationships already. He compromised with himself and replied,

“Wow Kelly, that’s a pretty big problem….You know though, I think you should go to the spa. I mean, Ryan wants you to go, so go. Have a good time, relax, and if you get worried just call him….like, a lot. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.” Jim smiled in satisfaction at his advice. He knew he was being a little cruel to Ryan, but he didn’t care, he hadn’t forgotten about him taking his old desk. Plus, he deserved it for treating Kelly like that.

“Yeah….you’re so smart Jim! You’re like Oprah!” Her smile had returned now, and she continued in a tone of voice that Jim was used to, “What are you doing this weekend? Oh! You should take Karen to New York City! She’s like super classy, she would love that.” Jim was about to respond that he didn’t like New York City and didn’t want to go there, but he was interrupted.

“I’ll tell you what I’m going to do….” Andy had turned around in his chair to face Kelly. “…rock my own socks off! Yeah, I got Guitar Hero 2 yesterday. It is awesome! I sing along to the songs too.” Andy smiled at Kelly, who looked a little disgustedly back at him.

“Waste of money Andy. Buy a real guitar, that is a purchase worthy of a real man.” Dwight dismissively said. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.

Before Andy could reply, Jim spoke. “So what are you doing Dwight?”

“Something constructive. After work I am driving to the Best Buy in Dickson City and purchasing a DVD copy of The Last Temptation of Christ and watching it with my girlfriend tomorrow. She enjoys religiously themed films, and neither of us have seen it. On Sunday, I plan to snowshoe the parameter of my beet farm with my Cousin Mose. Monday….” Dwight uncrossed his arms, and rubbed his chin with his right hand, “…re-watch The Lord of The Rings: The Return of the King….Extended Edition, of course, and….re-read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.” He frowned, “ I haven’t completely decided on a schedule yet.”

Jim’s eyes widened, and he looked over at Kevin. “How about you Kev?”

Kevin looked momentarily panicked, like he had been caught doing something wrong. After a few seconds he recovered, and looked sideways in thought. “Hmmmmmm….Saturday night is date night, so I’ll probably take Stacey out someplace really nice.”

“Cool….so where you going to take her?”

“Mmmmmm…Applebee’s probably.”

“Sweet” Jim replied. He tried not to laugh at Kevin and his choice of a “really nice” restaurant. Actually, if he was being completely honest with himself, he envied him a little. He didn’t know what he was going to do with the weekend, but it probably involved shopping and a hundred dollar meal someplace. He had had enough French wine and food that he had to point to on the menu like a child because he couldn’t pronounce its name, for a very long time. Some ribs or a hamburger would be nice for a change. But…he was pretty sure Karen wouldn’t be caught dead in an Applebee’s, or if she did go, she wouldn’t have a good time. Oh well he thought, its not like there was anything wrong with having standards, was there?

“Yeah…I haven’t decided what I’m going to do this weekend either. Uh….maybe go to Home Depot, you know, look at some flooring….stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath & Beyond….I don’t know, I don’t know if I’ll have enough time.” Jim laughed and smiled. The room was quiet. Andy, Kevin, Dwight, and Kelly were all staring at him.

“Uh…it’s from a movie, um…it…it doesn’t matter.” Jim grimaced. Oh God, was he turning into Michael? Did small amounts of power force you to quote several year old movies and then have nobody laugh? He shook his head in an attempt to lose the thought.

“That’s cool Jim. I go to Bed, Bath & Beyond sometimes when they have a sale.” Kelly stood up from her seat and walked towards the door. “Well…I’m going to go back to work and tell Ryan I’m going to the spa. Later!” She threw her trash away in the wastebasket and left the room.

“Well, if you’re done flirting with the entire female population of the office, can we get back to playing, Jim?” Dwight gripped the side of the table with his hands and cocked his head at Jim. “As a wise man once said, ‘war may not be avoided but is deferred to the advantage of others’.”

“Dwight, please tell me that person wasn’t Hitler.” Jim smirked at Dwight, crossed his legs under the table and leaned back in his chair.

“What? Jim, stop bringing up Nazis! No, that wise man was Machiavelli. I keep a copy of The Prince in my desk drawer at all times.” Jim filed away that bit of information for a potential prank. Not that he had been doing too many anyway, just the CIA one at Christmas that Pam had thought up. That was amazing. The planning and the patience involved…it must have taken months. The thought stopped him cold.

It must have taken months.

Hadn’t she said as much when she handed him the folder? But…she couldn’t have known about the merger until November, which meant that she had been planning it while he was still in Stamford, with no real possibility of him coming back to Scranton to work. Right? His mind reeled over the thought, how had he not seen this before?

He suddenly froze when he realized the one fact that he had been ignoring until now, the one that suddenly made his face feel hot and his palms sweaty.

She couldn’t have known about Karen either.

If he hadn’t transferred back, would Pam have sent him a Christmas gift, believing that he was single? What did it mean if she would have? If she wanted to? Jim stopped himself. No, he couldn’t go there again. Friends give friends presents for Christmas, there was nothing special about that. He wasn’t going to misinterpret things again. But still…

“Big Tuna, you’re up.” Kevin, Andy, and Dwight were all looking at him expectantly.

“Yeah, sorry guys…alright, let’s see…” The spark of hope that the memory of the CIA prank had created within him suddenly made him feel lighter than he had been in a long time, he didn’t feel so tired anymore.

Jim rubbed the right side of his face and gazed over the game board. They had only made it through a couple of turns, but things had already changed a little in the game. Dwight’s “sphere of power,” as he had dubbed it, reached from the Western United States to Argentina. He was close to taking over both North America and South America. Andy stood in his way by holding on to Greenland, and he also held most of Europe as well, except for Scandinavia and Great Britain. The former of which was Kevin’s, and it was quickly becoming one of the few territories that he controlled. Dwight was about to kick him out of Brazil, and Andy had already taken Eastern Europe from him. As for himself, he had almost complete control of Africa, with only Egypt left outstanding, because it belonged to Andy. Australia was the same, with only Indonesia not under his control. Dwight had conquered it on the first turn. Jim decided to change that.

“I attack Indonesia from Western Australia.” Jim reached for the red attack dice.

“You should attack Egypt first Jim. Control of Africa garners three bonus troops at the beginning of each turn, Australia only two. Moving against Indonesia is the wrong move.” Dwight rattled off, almost reflexively. Jim turned to look at him, only to have Dwight’s eyes dart away. That was interesting, Jim thought.

“That’s probably true Dwight, but Andy bought me a 3 Musketeers bar the other day sooo….Oh, and also….uh, Andy have you ever complained to Toby about hitting yourself in the head with the phone and blamed it on me?”

Andy looked confusedly at Jim, then at Dwight, then back at Jim. “No, BT, I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Dammit Jim. You know that you put nickels in my headset!” Dwight pointed his finger angrily at him and widened his eyes.

“Do I know that Dwight?.....Do I?” Jim asked innocently. “Seriously though, I’m attacking Indonesia. Grab you dice.”

Dwight quickly grabbed the two white defense dice and rolled a 3 and a 2. Jim smiled and casually threw the three red attack dice. He rolled a 6, 4, and 3. Dwight silently removed two soldiers from Indonesia, leaving him with only one left.

“Again, Dwight.”

Dwight rolled his one die, which came up a 5, and looked up at Jim, his mouth a straight line and his eyes fixed. In a wild gesture, Jim exaggeratedly picked up the three dice, blew on them, and then did his best Chevy Chase.

“Na-na-na-na-na-na….na-na-na-na…be the dice, be the dice” he paused and looked over at Dwight, whom he thought might be close to foaming at the mouth. He rolled. The dice skipped, hopped and landed a 6, a 4, and a 3. He smiled, tucked his right bit of cheek between his molars and continued the movie quotes, “Cinderella story! Outta nowhere! Ohhh!” He threw up his hands and let them find their way to the back of his head. “Well, my Australian campaign is complete, your turn Andy.” Dwight removed his last soldier from Indonesia and moved three of Jim’s soldiers to the territory for him. His hand shook slightly.

Andy placed his bonus soldiers on the board, as Kevin tried to fight back a new round of giggles created by Jim’s impressions.

“I love that movie Jim. Especially the end, with all the explosions, and then the gopher dances to the music…” Kevin began to wiggle in his chair a little bit to the imaginary Kenny Loggins soundtrack in his head. Jim had to admit, Kevin was a pretty good gopher.

“Uh….what are you guys doing?” Jim recognized the voice but looked anyway. Karen was standing at the door with her arms crossed.

Dwight turned around in his seat a little and looked at her. “We’re playing RISK Karen, it’s a game of global domination. I’m going to crush your boyfriend in it, and we’ve already started so you can’t join in. It’s a man’s game anyway.” Dwight turned back around and Jim felt his blood run cold.

“Nope, not…Dwight….what?...” Jim stopped. Karen’s expression turned seven shades darker in response to Dwight’s chauvinism. He saw her exhale a small breath before she turned her eyes on him.

“Ok, cool. Um, Jim can I see you in the Conference Room for just a sec. I’d like you to look over some numbers.” With that she turned and walked off.

“Dude, quickie.” Kevin snickered quietly.

“No Kev…I…alright that’s a good idea anyway. Why don’t we all take a break, stretch our legs, go to the bathroom, or whatever.” Jim pushed his chair back with his legs and got up. He absent-mindedly rubbed the small of his back and rolled his shoulders. Without waiting for a response, he walked out of the break room.

------

As he walked back into the office he saw that Pam still wasn’t back at Reception. He looked at his watch. It was almost 1. Phyllis, Ryan, Stanley, and Angela were all at their desks, in various stages of boredom. Creed was nowhere to be found. Karen’s desk was empty, of course, and as he looked over at the Conference Room, he saw that the blinds were closed. He sighed and pushed open the door and without looking into the room, closed it behind him.

Karen leaned lightly against the table, with her arms behind her, and her flat palms on the table supporting her weight. Her face was unreadable. It didn’t seem happy or sad, or really anything at all. She still hadn’t said anything either, despite the fact that he had been in the room for over five seconds. Jim decided to break the ice.

“Hey. So, how did the errands go?”

“Fine.”

Jim looked down at the carpet, and nodded his head. “That’s…good.” He wasn’t exactly sure what to do here. Karen’s silence was freaking him out a little. She usually loved to talk about everything. Feelings, work, toasters, feelings, it didn’t matter at all, as long as it continued the conversation.

He suddenly felt tired again, like he had run to the Conference Room instead of having slowly walked there. He figured he might as well get to it.

“Uh, Karen….did I do something wrong? Or…” Jim stammered slightly, as he tried to form the right sentence.

“Look Jim, I…” she faltered slightly, “I don’t want to make this a big deal or anything, ok?”

Warning bells started to ring in Jim’s head. Large red letters that spelled out various expletives flashed before his eyes. He curled his toes. “…Ok, Karen. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong. I mean…look, we’ve been doing really well lately. I feel like we’ve become a real couple, like close…” she looked up into Jim’s eyes and gave him a small smile. “…so I don’t want to mess with that, but…”

Jim’s chest began to physically ache with how hard his heart was pounding. This had to be about Pam, somebody had mentioned something. He immediately thought about containment. Nobody knew about what had happened before he left for Stamford except for Pam, of course, and he knew she wouldn’t talk about it. He could deny whatever it was. He would deny whatever it was. He’d denied enough things in his life that he knew how to do it without blinking.

“Jim. You know how big an ass I think Dwight is…and Andy is…and you know how…well, great…” she said the last word as though it were a question, “I think your pranks are and stuff.” Jim’s relief was so powerful that he sighed audibly. Karen didn’t notice and continued, “but…Jim you’re the Assistant Regional Manager, and you know that to Corporate you’re pretty much The Regional Manager of this branch.” Jim continued to wait for the hammer to fall. “...so, do you really think you should be playing RISK in the break room…..with them.” She said the last word as though it were physically distasteful to her.

Jim scratched the back of his neck where his hair curled up slightly. “I really don’t think it’s that big a deal. I mean, it’s Friday and nobody is in to pick up the phone anyway.”

“Yeah, but Jim, other people are at their desks, what example do you set by goofing off in the break room?” Karen bit her lip a little, and dropped her eyes to the carpet.

“Wow. Uh, well I really don’t think I’m an example setter Karen. We’ve all worked together for years, so…they pretty much know that I’m the guy who puts people’s stuff in Jello and tries to keep Dwight in line.” Jim crossed his arms and stood up straight. He didn’t like what Karen was implying about him and some of his co-workers.

“That’s who you were Jim. Now, you’re higher up then them. You make more money and have more responsibility. I mean…shouldn’t your professional attitude reflect that?” Karen’s words, especially ones like “responsibility” and “professional”, hit him hard in the stomach like punches, and made him feel slightly nauseous. He wasn’t that guy. He wasn’t going to look down on Phyllis. She was too nice a woman. He wouldn’t do that to Stanley….he was too scared of him.

Jim decided that to argue about this further with Karen made no sense. He’d lose anyway. He always did. He should just play the whole thing off with humor. “I guess Karen…but have you met Michael? Let’s just say that this branch does fine without any strong leadership figures.”

Karen pushed herself up from where she was leaning and crossed her arms, matching Jim’s posture. She wasn’t going to give in. “So…if it’s doing fine, then why was it almost downsized?” Her eyes had an intensity that was too much for Jim, and right now they were fixed on him. Still, he wasn’t going to be drawn into another prolonged argument, they had had enough of those already.

“Well, obviously that was because I left. I mean, how could they even think about staying open without me?” He smiled. She didn’t.

“Why do you have to make everything a joke? I’m trying to be adult, be your girlfriend, and you’re minimizing my feelings like they’re unimportant.” Jim raised an eyebrow at Karen’s words. Obviously she had either been in therapy at some point or she read a lot of relationship books. Either way, Jim felt like he was trapped and probably outgunned.

“Minimize?….look, Karen. It’s just RISK, on a Friday before a long weekend. It doesn’t mean anything at all. Nobody else is worried about it…at all.”

“It means something to me…or is that not enough?”

Jim felt the walls closing in. His breaths came more rapidly as he looked at Karen. She was now visibly upset, her jaw was set and her right hand shook a little. He knew that he should give up, give into her, tell her that he was wrong and that she was right. It would make things so much easier. He opened his mouth to tell her that, but that wasn’t what came out.

“So everything is about you? What I want means nothing at all? I became an Assistant Regional Manager just fine by doing things like playing RISK in the break room. I’m outselling everybody in this branch right now. I think that sets the example.” Jim was surprised at his own words, at the tone in which he had said them. That wasn’t him either. He couldn’t remember the last time he was this angry…well that was a lie, he could. At least this time he wouldn’t cry. He took a breath and continued,

“This,” he un-tucked his hands from his sides and moved his hands back and forth between them. “is supposed to be a compromise, give and take. Have I asked you to change one thing about yourself? I haven’t have I? Not one thing. You’ve taken care of that. Every other day it’s something new about me that’s wrong, that can be tweaked…or improved…or whatever.” Under normal circumstances Jim would have been smart enough to not say what he was thinking, but he was on a roll. “Do you even like me? Or do you just see something I could become and like that?”

By this time, Karen’s glare had become positively murderous. She stepped towards Jim, so that they were only a foot or two apart. “You’re the hero, aren’t you Jim? It’s all my fault, isn’t it? I’m the bitch, the one who doesn’t let you have any fun, right?” Jim rolled his eyes, he couldn’t believe she was playing that card right now.

“No, I’m pretty sure you’re actually just playing the victim. Like usual. You’re not going to make me feel bad about you calling yourself a bitch.” Jim’s teeth, jaw, and head had begun to hurt from him mashing his teeth together so hard.

“God you’re an asshole. You know that right? All I wanted...was to just ask you to be an adult, a professional, a man. You can’t even do that! You’d rather screw around with those three, than care about us, about this relationship. What the hell? What is wrong with you? You’re choosing RISK over me? Really?” She walked past him towards the door and reached for handle. “Don’t call me this weekend…at all. We’ll talk on Monday.”

Her condescending tone pushed Jim over the top. He wheeled around to her as her hand began to turn the handle. “Yeah, it’s not like I’m really missing anything is it? All we would have done is whatever you wanted to, like we always do.” Karen didn’t say anything. She just opened the door, walked past her desk, and into the Women’s Bathroom.

Jim took a deep breath and tried to drain the adrenaline and heat out of his body. His legs were shaking slightly, so he pulled a chair from the table and sat down in it. What had he done? It was just RISK…it…it didn’t even matter. However, he knew that the fight wasn’t about a board game. It was about the differences between them. He had tried to overlook them, avoid them, surrender whenever necessary to pacify her, whatever it took, but he had failed.

They wanted different things in life. He wanted someone who would support what he wanted as much as he would support whatever it was that they wanted. He wanted someone who loved him just as much as he loved her. He wanted….

“Tuna! What are you doing? C’mon man, Dwight is attacking North Africa…and he said something about a….coat de wah?” Andy stood in the doorway, oblivious to the ten minutes of hell that Jim had just gone through.

Still, Jim smiled as he looked at Andy and rubbed his right cheek that was still hot from the fight. “Uh…do you mean Cote d’Ivoire?”

“Maybe.”

“Alright, I’m coming.”