Jim clumsily held onto the crinkled piece of paper as he turned the steering wheel of his car. He’d spotted the street sign that was next on the list of directions a little too late and struggled to make the turn. Earlier in the day he called Pam after foolishly realizing he had no idea where she lived. He didn’t even tell her what time he wanted to pick her up. He made it all the way down to the parking lot before the euphoria of Pam’s “yes” wore off enough for partial rational thought to resume. He held onto his cell phone for a few minutes to give Pam enough time to finish with the camera crew and get back to her desk. As if it were second nature, he dialed the number of Pam’s desk phone. After two rings, the familiar phrase, “Dunder Mifflin this is Pam” rang in his ear. His heart leapt. The sound of her voice was his favorite song.
“Hey.”
To his delight she sweetly returned, “Hey.”
“I, uh, need directions to your apartment. I’d like to, um, pick you up tonight, if that’s okay.” His nerves rattled him a little bit, but he luckily he didn’t come off sounding like too much of an idiot.
“Oh, okay. . . Do you have something to write this down?”
Thankfully, Jim had thought of that before calling her. He had a pen and paper ready to go on the hood of his car. “Yeah, I’m ready.” He meant that in more ways than one. He scribbled down her instructions as she told him which way to turn on various streets. “Alright, I think I’ve got it. Is 7:00 okay with you?”
“Yeah, that sounds great. Where are we going?” He couldn’t help but notice the excitement in her voice. It was encouraging to know he wasn’t the only one bursting at the seams with anticipation.
Jim smiled widely, “You’ll see.” “Oh, so that’s how it’s going to be?” He could hear her softly giggle and envisioned the adorable face that would accompany her glee. “Yup, I’ll see you at seven.” “Okay, bye.”
“Bye.” He looked down at the directions and closed his phone. It was really going to happen.
Jim arrived in the parking lot of Pam’s apartment building earlier than he expected. In fact, he was 10 minutes early. Impatience had been his close personal friend ever since he closed the conference room door. It’s no wonder he drove a little faster than usual. Nerves began to mingle with impatience as the significance of the evening began to weigh on his mind. He turned the key to shut off the motor and just sat silently. His fingers were clinging to his keys as if they could magically restore his composure. He was stuck in the peculiar paradox of hesitant anticipation. It may be the first date, but it was really a second chance. Hope was resting on a sea of unknowns that could take him to either paradise or hell. He knew he loved her, but he also knew he could easily be picking up the pieces of a broken heart once again. Despite the nerves, a small smile appeared on his face. Just a few years ago he would’ve given his right arm to be in the position he finds himself at this moment. Now was not the time to let fear paralyze him. Pam was waiting for him and it was a real date. With a few minutes still to kill, he reached for his wallet in his front pocket. He retrieved a neatly folded piece of paper from the cash compartment. Once unfolded, the yogurt lid shined in all it’s glory. The gold lid was the light at the end of a dark tunnel he’d been traveling since last year. The need to be in Pam’s presence grew stronger with each passing moment. She changed his life with her simple gesture of kindness and warmth. He lightly rubbed his thumb over the yogurt lid and smiled. Everything he loved about her was in his hands. That’s all he needed to know. A glance at his watch revealed it was finally time. With a deep breath he refolded her note and put it back in his wallet. He would always carry it with him, the same way he always carried her in his heart.
***
Pam sat on her couch blankly switching channels on the television. She doesn’t even know why she turned it on in the first place. The clock had more of her attention than the nonsense flashing on the screen. Jim was supposed to pick her up in 10 minutes. The intensity of her stomach flips increased with each passing minute. She hoped the directions she’d given him were good enough for Jim to find his way to her apartment. His phone call earlier in the day had been a total surprise. She had just finished pulling herself together in the conference room when she returned to her desk and a ringing phone. She answered it with her usual Dunder Mifflin greeting and was met with his soft spoken, “Hey.” There was something about his voice that always touched her warmly. It was comforting and soothing in a way she couldn’t explain. His request for directions to her apartment left her floored. It never occurred to her that he’d be picking her up. It really was a date. She had smiled and felt her cheeks burning as they had in the conference room just a few minutes before. The reassurance that this was actually a date sent a jolt through her that caused her to tremble with excitement. She had inquired about where they were going, but Jim had playfully told her “You’ll see.” She couldn’t help but imagine his face with the impish grin that surely accompanied his answer. Her eyes twinkled at the thought of another surprise. Of course, it didn’t really matter where they were going, as long she was with him. She hung up the phone after his goodbye and cupped her hands over her mouth. Her brain was still trying to wrap around the reality that she had a second chance with Jim.
A second chance is something Pam thought would never happen. She knew full well that she’d blown her first chance. Jim’s heart was shattered as a result of her inability to admit she loved him. She’d spent the better part of a year missing him with every fiber of her being. The void in her life after he left was constant and unforgiving. Even though she had found confidence and strength within herself, a piece of her was still missing. Her newly resurrected hope was completely reliant on the unknown. A million scenarios filled her mind of what could go wrong. In the last year, their relationship had been a collage of miscommunication, cold shoulders, and pain. Pam’s thoughts made her restless and she began to pace. She felt herself falling into self doubt and she knew couldn’t let her fears cast a shadow on an evening of so much promise. Besides, fate wouldn’t be so cruel as to bring him back to her only to yank him away.
Pam wandered to a small bookshelf in her living room and pulled out one of her many art books. Carefully tucked inside the front cover was Jim’s senior yearbook picture. He had given it to her as part of a special Christmas gift. Pam had hidden the photo in order to avoid explaining its significance to Roy. The photograph stayed in the book even after she and Roy split up. She loved Jim and she loved art. It made sense to her to keep them together. She often pulled out Jim’s picture as a way to be with him. She smiled down at his “dorky” face and loved him all over again. A seemingly small and insignificant photograph carried priceless memories of friendship and love. His young face seemed foreign and barely recognizable, but his warm and sparkling eyes were the same. He always believed in her and ultimately gave her the courage to believe in herself. It suddenly became real again that he was heading towards her doorstep. Tonight was her chance to love him the way he loved her.
