She’s heard the song before. She’s heard it enough times that she doesn’t have to watch his mouth move to know the words, but she does anyway. She’s heard it enough times to know how the melody goes, but every note feels new with his warm breath on her forehead. When she looks up at him during the chorus, his eyes are mostly closed and she feels like she’s being told a secret.

And it’s been a night of secrets. Up on the roof, the conversation had turned into something serious when he asked her if she thought she was meant to be with Roy. She’d said, “Yeah, of course,” but even then she was painfully aware that it sounded too defensive. Like she was overcompensating. Then she’d asked if he felt anything real for Katy and he’d gotten that look like he wanted to vanish right then and quietly said, “No.” She hadn’t pressed, because he tilted his head back just a little bit like he was to keep his eyes from spilling.

They listen to another song when the first one ends and she doesn’t make any sort of move. Just stands there and maybe moves a step towards him, pretending like she’s trying to look at what song is going to play next. She hears him laugh a little and then the song starts. It’s something soft and she looks down to smile to herself because the sound of fingers on guitar strings has always made her feel this intensely pure sort of joy.

This is when he reaches for her hand and doesn’t try to twine their fingers together or grip it tightly. He just holds it, keeps his palm against hers. It feels like fingers on guitar strings and she doesn’t look back up because she doesn’t want the moment to change or pass or whatever moments like this do.

The singing in the song is hushed like a whisper and it sounds so warm and sincere that she finds herself leaning towards him just a little. As if that warmth was emanating from his body. As if she could trap this feeling here between them and never let it go.

But this is another one of those fleeting moments where she feels love like it’s the first time. Another one of those fleeting moments where she imagines life with him and feels perfection like it’s something completely attainable. Another one of those fleeting moments that will end and she’ll tell herself that she already knows love and that life will never be perfect. It isn’t supposed to be perfect.

The songs ends and he lets go of her hand which is more jarring then the sudden silence. She takes out her earphone and hands it back to him.

He smiles and says, “Well, Beesly, I guess I’ll see you again in just a few short hours.”

She nods and starts to walk towards Roy’s truck. “Yeah, I guess so.”

She’s halfway across the parking lot when he calls out to her, “Oh, and Pam?”

She turns and bites her lip. “Yeah?”

“She’s just a distraction.”

When she doesn’t move or say anything right away, he gives a sad half smile and turns to walk to his car.

“Hey, Jim,” she calls out and there’s something sort of romantic about calling out to him as he walks to his car in a dark parking lot with his shoulders slumped.

From what? A distraction from what? She’d ask, but the answer seems frightening to her.

“Yeah?”

She looks down when he turns back around and tries to think of something to say now when all she really wanted was to see his face for just another second. “Do you think you could get me a copy of that song? I really liked it.”

He smiles and says, “Yeah, definitely,” and then, “See you tomorrow, Pam.”

“Bye.”

She knows tomorrow he’ll probably joke about how this was a date. With the dinner and the fireworks and the songs and Michael’s movie. He’ll joke about it and smile and she’ll want nothing more than for it to not be a joke, but the cameras will be there. Right there in their faces like they always are. So she’ll have to throw it a glance and pretend like she’s mad or that she didn’t at all consider it a date. The thought never crossed her mind.

She starts to work on her lines as she’s getting ready for bed that night.

She’ll say, “Swaying isn’t dancing.”

And it will resound inside of her as if it somehow sums up everything that’s ever passed between them.