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“Jim, I think we should get married.”

Jim felt his stomach flip.  His heart started to race.  His mind started to bounce around a million different thoughts. 

Is she serious?  Of course she is.  She wouldn’t joke about that.  I’ve never heard her talk like that before.  God, she’s beautiful.   But, we’ve only been together for a few months.  But I’ve known her for years and years and…holy god…I love her…she’s always been it for me.  But marriage…so soon…what if we rush it and it all goes wrong?  I can’t handle that.  Crap, she’s looking at me funny.  I’d better say something, quick. 

“Married!”  He blurted loudly.  Pam jumped in her seat and their hands broke apart because Jim had yelled the word at her.

“Yes, married.  Sooo…what do you think?”

“Uhhhh…well…I…”

She stared and him and shook her head, “I’ve freaked you out, haven’t I?  I have completely freaked you out.” 

“Well, I’m a little freaked out, but I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing.”

“Okay…can you elaborate a bit on that?”

“Ahhhh…okay.  Umm, well, honestly?  I think I’m just still adjusting to this new you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Alright…I know we’ve gotten to know each other really well these past few months, uh, very well in some areas.”  Pam smiled, blushed and looked down at her hands as Jim continued, “You just say whatever’s on your mind now and that’s…that’s so great.”  He paused and looked out into the night sky and then returned his gaze to Pam.  “I guess I’m still getting used to you telling me what you think.”  He lowered his eyes.  “I mean, we hid so much from each other for so long and this is just all so…new.”

She looked at him hesitantly and whispered, “Is that a good thing?”

Jim smiled warmly and said, “Uh, yah…yah, it is.  Definitely.”

“Look, Jim, I know that I’ve basically just proposed to you and I know that I have changed a lot since we met, but really, I’m still me.  You know that, right?”

“Yes…yes I do”

“Well…”

“Well…Pam, it’s just, I’m a little scared.”

“Okay, what are you scared of?”

He breathed deeply and reached for her hand.  “I just think that this is happening really fast and I am loving so much about what is going on between us and, well, I guess I’m scared that if we rush into something that we aren’t ready for it could ruin us.”

“Okay.”  Pam paused for a moment.  “I can see how you might feel that way.  I’m scared too, Jim.  I have just lived the worst year of my life and a big part of that year being the worst was being away from you.  I don’t want it to ever be like that again.  I want us to start something that is just us.  Right now I feel like there is nothing that could ever break us apart.  I know everyone probably says that when they get married, but we’ve already been broken up Jim.  When I pushed you away and you moved to Stamford, we broke up.  There has been a wall between us for the past year and that wall is finally gone.”  She lifted her hand to the side of Jim’s face.  “I just feel like I want to hold on to you and never let you go.”  She tilted her head to the side and added, “But hey, I’m not a stalker, ok?”

Jim snickered and continued to stare at her.  Pam dropped her hand back into her lap.  He blew out the breath he’d been holding for the past minute and thought carefully about what he was about to say.

“Pam, I…I can’t even believe you’re saying these things to me.  This year has been hell, for sure, and I don’t ever want to relive it.  You…” He dropped his head to try and pull himself together.  He did not want to cry in front of her.  He took another deep breath, looked at her with a furrowed brow and continued.  “You…are all I ever wanted.  When I was in New York for that interview, David Wallace asked me where I saw myself in 10 years and all I could see was you.  In 10 years I want to be with you.  In 50 years I want to be with you.”  He took her face in his hands and kissed her slowly and deeply.  They pulled each other into a hug and he whispered in her ear, “You make me feel alive.  These past three months have been amazing and no one…no one has ever made me feel so loved.  I never ever want to know what life is without you.  Ever.”

He rested his chin on her shoulder, held onto her tightly and tried to sort out what was going on in his head. 

She wants to marry me.  Pam.  My wife.  What would my parents say?  What would her parents say?  God, it feels so good to hold her like this and she smells so...good.  Ok, I can’t marry her just because she smells good. But she’s so much more than that.   

Jim then started to flash through a series of thoughts and images, like a slide show put on fast forward. 

Cugino’s, jellybeans, pranks, stolen moments in the break room, a drunken kiss, a desperate kiss, silent moments, a welcome back hug, hidden feelings, a bouncy castle, beach confessions, first date, bodies entwined, whispers in the dark, gold bands, promises, a house with a terrace, Pam’s eyes, a twinkling Christmas tree, the ocean washing over our feet, a round tummy, tiny hands and curly hair, Pam…Pam’s arms wrapping around me.

Yes.  This is right.  This feels right.  Ok, Halpert, it’s now or never.   

Jim pulled away from Pam and he lowered himself to his knees in front of her.  He took both of her hands locked eyes with her.

“Jim, you’re trembling.  What are you doing?  Are you ok?”

“Yes.  I’m…ok…Pam, I love you.  You’re my best friend and I…I….”  Jim’s nerves were getting the better of him and he couldn’t get the words to come out right.  “Crap, I’m sorry.  I just can’t think straight right now.”  He shook his head and brought his eyes back to hers.  “What you were saying before, about getting married, well, I think, what I mean is maybe we should…ok, look, I’m just going to say it, ok?  Pam, will you marry m--”

“Yes!  Yes, yes, yes!”  Pam interrupted as she fell onto him and knocked him flat on the balcony floor. 

“So…that’s…a…definite…yes?”  Jim said with a laugh in between Pam’s flurry of kisses.

Pam smiled on his lips, pulled away and raised her eyebrows.  “Absolutely it is.”