"I told you not to come in today."  Pam whispers at Jim as he walks into the office.

"And I would have loved to stay home, but it's a sad day Pam."  He gives her a grin.  "I actually have work to do."

"Well.  You can't say I didn't warn you."

"Nope.  Definitely can't say that. You warned me when the alarm went off.  Annnd...when I was in the shower, annnd at breakfast."  He drops his bag near his chair and shrugs his jacket off.  "I got the warning, Pam."

"And still you chose to ignore it." She shakes her head in disbelief.

"I know.  All this valuable information that I can't take advantage of.  I'm lucky to be dating a double agent."  He grins wider.

"He's not going to leave you alone." Pam tries again.

"That's the chance I'll have to take." Jim trails off when Michael steps out of his office and stares straight at him.

"He has arrived.  The man, the myth, the legend..."

"Heeeeyy Michael."

"James.  Jimmy.  Jimnastics."

"Let's try just Jim."  Jim shrugs.  "You know...something original."

Michael ignores him.  "We are kindred spirits, my friend."

Jim sits down, defeated.   "I don't think we really are."

"Eons ago, in the land before time.  It was your ancestors, my ancestors, and the dinosaurs..."

"Dinosaurs huh?  Are you saying it's like a modern stone age family?"

"Exactly.  Jim.  Brace yourself."  Michael can barely contain his excitement.  "I've always suspected - but now - here's concrete proof.  There seems to be a Halpert branch on my family tree."

"Really don't think so."

"It's true.  Our family limbs are intertwined.  It's right here in black and white.  My casa is your casa - so to speak.   The point is - it's official.  You and I - we are brethren."

Jim looks up and catches Pam's eye watching in desperation as she mouths,  "I told you so."

"It is not conclusive.  The name could have been Halpern or Haplert.  I need to look into it further."  Dwight interjects.  "On the other hand Michael - there seems to be a large contingency of Schulte's intersecting with Scotts in the mid 19th century..." He stands straighter and tugs at the hem of his suit jacket.  "Schulte.... Schrute.  I believe there is a connection there."

"Get it through your thick skull Dwight - you're barking up the wrong tree.   Get it?  Tree, family tree..." Michael laughs heartily at his own joke, his expression turning serious in an instant.  "Face the facts.  Jim and I...we've always been similar.  Pam.  You can see that can't you?"

Pam stares at him, looking almost terrified, wondering what he could possibly mean by that.

"Um..." She begins.  "I wouldn't say similar..."

"C'mon.  It's obvious.   First of all we are both above average in height."

Jim looks down at Michael and shrugs at Pam.  Michael notices the exchange and quickly amends.  "Well I used to be."

"When?"  Jim asks.

"In sixth grade."  Michael replies.  "Still counts.  We're also both snappy dressers.  This tie, for instance, is from the Donald J. Trump Signature Collection.  Because to make money you have to look like you have money..." He smiles at Jim.  "Jim knows what I'm talking about.  We have the exact same taste.  You got that tie at Macy's right?"

Jim shakes his head as he gazes down at his tie, running his hand along the length of it.  It was actually a new one.  Today is the first time he's worn it.   "I - um..."

"Banana Republic."  Pam offers.  "The outlet, actually.  They have a great selection at the end of the season."  She smiles as Jim's eyes meet hers.

"Then your pants are from Macy's..."

Jim stuffs his hands in his pockets and rocks back on his heels.  "I believe it was the Gap?"

Pam nods and grins wider.

"Shirt?"

"Um...nope."

Exasperated, Michael throws up his hands.  "Tell me this.  Have you ever been to Macy's Jim?"

The only other person who he's discussed clothing with for this length of time was Kelly - and then it was all about whether or not Ryan noticed what she was wearing. 

Jim nods.  "Yes.  I have been to Macy's."

"OK then."  Michael sighs with relief.  "Now Pam."  He turns in her direction and gives her a grin.  "Name another way Jim and I are identical."

"Michael..."

"I mean - you know."  He lowers his voice.  "Besides the obvious..."

Pam wearily rubs at her temples wondering just how many more times Michael is going to make mention of their little "encounter."

"It shouldn't be so hard...that's what she said...how about our mad b-ball skills?"

"You both have a certain flair on the court - that's true."  She replies, trying not to snicker.

"And we are both killer at karaoke."

"Also true.  As a matter of fact - you should do more duets."

Jim's eyes widen.  The look he gives her says "Thanks for that."

The nod she gives him clearly states "Don't mention it."

Dwight can't stand by and listen a moment longer.  "None of this has any real relevance as far as DNA is concerned.  All I need is a simple cotton swab and I can conduct a test to confirm what I know for a fact is true.   I predict there is no match whatsoever."

"Well Dwight - I predict your prediction is false."  Michael counters.  "Jim.  Step into my office please.   Family meeting."

Dwight shakes his head disapprovingly.  "Michael.  Until it is scientifically proven - Jim is not your family."

Jim sighs and hangs his head as takes a step in Michael's direction.    "This'll be quick - right?  Because I've got a pretty busy day here..."

"Don't worry.   Blood is thicker than paper Jim.   If you miss out on a sale or two - I've totally got your back." 

As the door clicks shut behind him Jim checks his watch.  "That's great to know.  So..."

Michael talks right over him.  "Besides soon you won't need any commission.  Tell me Jimbo.  How much you have saved?"

Jim blinks.  "Excuse me?"

Michael's voice lowers as he sits behind the desk.  "Got a little nest egg?  Stocking some money away to buy Pammy there a sparkler?"  He gives Jim a wink.  "Diamonds are a girl's best friend Jim."  He pauses, looking pensive as he continues.  "Well...diamonds, Cabernet Sauvignon and sometimes a Jaeger chaser.   But Jan says that's only on weeknights."

Jim scratches his head, still boggled by their whole dynamic.  He tries to get Michael to regain focus. "So, what's the purpose of this meeting again?"

"The purpose is that once we find the fortune, I'll be sharing the wealth with my loved ones..." Michael beams.  "And that, now, of course, includes you.  Oh fyi - the family reunion's usually in August.  If I were you I wouldn't eat the potato salad.  And watch out for where Aunt Lila leaves her teeth..."

Jim looks utterly fascinated, though it's clear from the smirk he's trying to hide that he's confident he'll be busy most of August.  And maybe July, just to be safe.

It seems Michael is still talking.  "We'll use my account - and of course - my advisor - since you don't have one of your own.  Here is the pin..." He scribbles a code on sheet of paper and shoves it across the desk towards Jim.

"5-4-3-2-1?" 

"I've researched this.  The most common passwords are the easiest to figure out - like 1,2,3,4,5 for instance.  But by reversing the order of the numbers - you completely fake them out."

"Yeah.  That'll fool pretty much everybody."  Jim nods his head in mock agreement.  "Well I don't know what to say.  This is really generous of you Michael."  

"I'm a generous guy, especially with my next of kin.   Only, there's one condition.  Since this whole thing was my idea we'll split anything we get 30/60."

Jim's mouth twists as he takes that bit of information in.  "Okay.  Thirty and sixty is ninety. Where'd the other ten percent go?" 

Michael's breath comes out in a huff as he leans back in his chair.  "Jan says if anything comes from this "asinine idea of mine" she gets a cut.  I tried to talk her out of it - but she's mean when she wants to be.  She also says she'll...withhold things.  Things I've become very...attached to.   If you want to give Pam some of your take that's all on you."

Jim looks over his shoulder to see Dwight's face pressed against the glass.  He can practically feel him seething with jealousy on the other side of the door.    This whole thing is absolutely too good to be true, but of course, not for the reasons Michael thinks.  

"I appreciate your thinking of me."

"Anytime my brother." Michael grins from ear to ear.  "...from another mother..."

"Right.  OK.  Well.  Thanks again."  Jim quietly exits Michael's office.   As he does, Dwight accosts him almost immediately.  

"What exactly were you two discussing in there?"  He demands, clearly agitated.

"Oh you know.  The weather.  How the Eagles are faring this season..." Jim shrugs as he sinks into his chair and switches his monitor on.  "World domination.  The usual."

"Not a laughing matter, Jim.  This is exactly why you are not deserving of such an honor.  You are weak, and you know what happens to the weak in the wild."

"They inherit the earth?"  Jim's face is full of innocence.  "No wait.  I think that's the meek."

"No.  The weak get eaten.  It's survival of the fittest.  Always has been, always will be.  You think you're going to ride Michael's coattails but you are wrong."  He takes his seat and gives Jim another menacing glare.  "I am not supposed to share this - but I'll have you know I have ties to a top level government agency.  I'll call in a favor and trust me.  I will get to the bottom of this."

Jim's eyes light up as they meet Pam's.  She nods, her fingers flying over the keyboard with breakneck speed.  

It appears Special Agent Dwight K. Schrute is about to embark on a new and dangerous mission.