April 27, 2005, 9:00 am

“You have 29 unheard messages.”

Pam scowled and punched hit “1” on the phone, her pen hovering over the message pad.

She hated Mondays.

As she jotted down the messages, the phone held between her ear and her shoulder, she watched as her co-workers filed into the office, the Monday morning gloom written all over their faces. Even Michael seemed to be especially down this morning, refraining from stopping at her desk with an annoying new variation on her name.

She saw Jim appear in the doorway and returned the phone to its place with ten messages still unheard.

“Hey!”

He smiled widely at her and stopped to hang up his coat, “Hey Pam. How was your weekend?”

She shrugged, “Not bad.”

“Cool.”

“How about you? Do anything exciting?”

“I uh, hung out with Katy.”

Pam started, “Oh.” She shook her head, “I didn’t know you were going to see her again.”

Jim shrugged, “Yeah, she’s fun. No matching tattoos yet. But, yeah…”

“Um, so what… what did you guys do?” She mentally kicked herself for asking a question she really didn’t want the answer to.

“No much. We went out with my roommate and his girlfriend, watched a movie, I stood outside her house holding a boom box over my head, playing Peter Gabriel songs all night. Nothing too exciting."

Pam laughed, “That sounds nice.”

“Yes it was.”

They fell silent and Jim tapped the counter before turning to walk to his desk. She watched as he made some kind of remark to Dwight and slung his bag over his chair. He seemed to be in a good mood this morning. Unlike the rest of the office. She didn’t want to think about what that meant.

Not that it really mattered of course. She was happy for him. That he had found someone who didn’t use him to get back at ex-boyfriends or call him seven times in the course of an hour. He deserved someone really… nice.

And Katy was nice. Sweet. Really, really sweet. Pam bit her lip and looked over the counter toward his desk. Somehow she had pictured Jim with someone different though. Someone a little less or a little more… not Katy. Not that she really ever pictured him with anyone. It was easier to see him as this guy who only existed in the realm of the office. The guy who came over to her desk and ate her jelly beans and made her laugh.

Outside of the office he was… well, she didn’t really know who he was outside of the office. And part of her didn’t care. Because that part of him didn’t include her.

I’m a horrible person.

Sometimes she couldn’t believe she let these thoughts go through her head. Jim didn’t belong to her. He had a life outside of the office. And he was obviously going to go on dates. Because who wouldn’t want to go on a date with him?

Pam watched him laughing with Kevin about something over in Accounting as she answered the phone. So he was never going to make People’s Sexiest Men of the Year issue. He wasn’t the kind of guy that struck you as being gorgeous at first sight. No, he had something a lot more than that.

It was something more that sneaks up on a girl. Something that has a lot more to do with personality.The dry sense of humor that could always make her laugh. The way he taunted Dwight and mocked Michael and yet never took it too far. Pam sensed that somehow Jim liked his co-workers a little more than he let on, always running into the rescue before they hit complete bottom.

And of course he was chivalrous. In the way that chivalrous used to mean something. Beyond opening doors. Beyond not engaging in degrading jokes with Todd Packer. He was always willing to put up with Kelly’s incessant babbling and he asked Meredith about her kids and bought Phyllis her favorite candy out of the vending machine.

Not that he was perfect by any means. He chewed with his mouth open and sometimes he talked too much or too little. He didn’t always trust his instincts and he had the tendency to fall into serious doubt and really fear turning into someone like Michael. Not that he would let anyone see that. Pam saw it though from her place at reception. Saw the way his face would fall into near sadness at times.

The imperfections only made him more endearing. More attractive. Made his eyes greener and his smile wider.

She watched him carefully as he sat on the phone with a customer, watching the way he always gestured with his hands when he was talking. He reached one hand up to his neck and loosened his tie a bit.

His ties. She liked to tease him about those ties. Tell him that her grandfather wore ties like that. The truth was she liked his ties, liked when he would loosen them at the end of the day and flip open the top button of his shirt. His ties for some reason created the effect of making him taller. Not that he needed to be. His lanky frame already felt so much bigger than hers when he was standing next to her.

And then there was his hair. She loved the tousled, flipped out look of his hair. Wondered if he just combed his hands through it in the morning and came in to work. Wondered what he looked like when he first woke up in the morning. Wondered what it would be like to turn and see him when the alarm went off. To see his lips whisper a good morning.

His lips. A girl could get lost in those perfect lips. Pam wondered if…

“Earth to Pam. Come in Pam.”

She shook her head and looked up into those green eyes. He smiled at her, amused.

“You alright?”

“Yeah. I’m just thinking.”

“Okay. You planning on eating lunch?”

“Huh?” she looked down at her watch, her eyes widening. It was 12:15.

“Oh, yeah. I didn’t realize it was this late.”

“Heh. Lucky you. I feel like I’ve been here for twelve hours already.”

Pam nodded and looked over to the phone, “I’m just going to board the phones. I’ll be right there.”

He nodded and left her. She watched him leave, letting the blush creep into her face. She had just spent four hours contemplating a man who was not her fiancé.

Oh God.

Roy.

How would he feel if he knew?

Pam took a deep breath and forced all those thought out of her head. She was being ridiculous. It was fine that Jim was hanging out, or dating, or whatever with Katy. He could do what he wanted. And she could be happy for him. Because he deserved that. And because Roy deserved to not have her thinking about other men like that.

Not that it meant anything.

Because it didn’t.

Not at all.