That Girlfriend  

Pam likes spicy food. Who’d have thunk it? When she was first seeing Roy, they’d double-dated with his brother at a Mexican restaurant. The type where the bartender was dressed like a Disney version of Pancho Villa and everything, except maybe the margaritas, was buried under melted cheese of mysterious origin. She should have been suspicious when ordering an appetizer involved the boys whispering in the waitress’s disinterested ear.

The hilarity that ensued when the ‘Nuclear Nachos’ arrived sizzling to the table and the girls dove in became the stuff of legend. She still winced at the memory of how painful it was, like third degree burns to her mouth and throat. The humor eluded her, but that was because she needed to lighten up.

And that was pretty much it for her, in terms of hot food. Or so she thought.

The first time she went to a Thai restaurant with Jim, the hostess greeted him warmly at the door. By name. She was young and exotically pretty and seemed inordinately happy to see him. The thought crossed Pam’s mind…No, she wasn’t going to be that girlfriend. Jim casually explained that he used to eat there before he’d moved to Stamford, but hadn’t been back since.

Once they’d been seated, the hostess, who apparently had decided to be their waitress too, came by to take their drink order. She remembered the dishes Jim liked. She suggested specials she knew he’d enjoy. She wouldn’t stop looking so damn lovely. No, she was not going to be that girlfriend.

After the ex-fling of a hostess (no, stop) brought them their Thai beers, they studied the menu. Jim dismissed all the specials, as well as most of his old favorites.

‘They’re really hot …and I know that’s not your thing.’

‘But, you should order what you like…I can just get something less spicy.’

‘No, don’t be silly,’ he grinned at her. ‘It’s much more fun if we share. I don’t mind. Seriously.’

Just then Miss Thailand came back with some kind of special hors d’oeuvre concoction that was on the house. Placing it on the table apparently required lingering arm touching and entirely too much smiling. That was the last straw.

‘Let’s get the spicy stuff,’ Pam declared.

‘Pam…it’s okay. I swear, I don’t…’

‘I want to Jim,’ she cut him off decisively.

While waiting for the food to arrive, the beer muting her self-censor, she finally spit it out.

‘What’s up with you and her?’ she nodded toward the hostess, who only pretended to be focused on another table; clearly, she was thinking about Jim. Naked.

‘Who?’ He looked momentarily perplexed before visibly registering her implication. ‘Her family owns this place. I think she’s a college student – last time I saw her, she was like sixteen.’

‘Very pretty.’

‘Yeah. So?

‘And exotic.’

‘You’re kidding, right?’ he asked, his bemused disbelief evident. ‘Actually, now that you mention it…think you can get home on your own? Because I’m pretty sure making out with her is included in that dinner special she recommended…’

Pam just stared at him.

‘Nothing’s going on,’ he insisted, taking her hand. ‘Not now, not when she was jailbait, not ever.’

The look on his face confirmed just how ridiculous she was being. Okay. She was officially done being that girlfriend.

Everything tasted like mysterious spices and coconut and a little sweet and oddly salty and totally delicious. It was hotter than she was accustomed to, but not to the point of being a near death experience.

‘Dinner isn't supposed to require a stunt double, Pam,’ Jim shook his head and smiled.

Her lips were still tingly when he leaned across the table to kiss her. Then, in the parking lot, her lips and tongue both tingled when he pressed her against the car and kissed her hard and deep and told her she was crazy to ever be jealous again. And later, in the dark, he made her tingle some more. Everywhere.