Oh, my God, you won't believe this! Mose told me last night that he couldn't keep up the façade anymore (Yeah, he actually said façade, I guess he's been off the beet farm once or twice, anyway. He did pronounce it ‘fakade,' though, so...maybe not.) Turns out, Dwight told him to do all that stuff to try to scare me off the farm.

Mose is actually kind of okay. He wanted pointers on how to dominate Dwight. He's been around Dwight way too long, though, because he said to me, "Help me, Jim Halpert. You're my only hope." I gave him some tips anyway, mostly from sites on dog training and war theory. (I hope those help. ;-))

I guess the only thing that was Mose's idea was whittling the Shirley Temple thing--he thought I really enjoyed the movie. (???)

But even if Mose was as weird as I thought he was, it wouldn't even matter, because the owner called. I guess the woman from the other couple called him and said something about the apartment that...well, I guess she was really rude and judgmental, and then she wouldn't even apologize. So, it's ours! The apartment is ours and I can move in anytime! Bye-bye, beet farm!

The bad thing is that the dogs were scratching around outside my window last night - scary.

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I noticed you squealed and ran to Jim for a hug. It was quick, but nonetheless inappropriate, for a place of work, but I assume it means you have good news on your apartment hunt. Congratulations. The other couple must not have worked out, thank God.

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We do have good news on our apartment hunt--Jim can move in right away, so we're going to move him tonight. I'm really happy.

The email subject line you chose was interesting. You may be interested to know that I left something here yesterday and had to come back for it. That was a little before 6 PM. You might want to work on your after-hours office decorum. I'm just glad Michael didn't get a peek at that. You'd never hear the end of it.

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Angela, I never thought I'd have reason to say this to you, but thank you. If you want to know how I knew, telling the owner that you thought hardwood floors were ‘whorish' was a dead giveaway. But thank you anyway.

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I have no idea what you mean. I'm sure you have nothing to thank me for.

However, if you want to cover your hardwood floors (which can be glaring to the eyes and also slippery), you may want to look at Buckingham Oriental over on North Main. I noticed they're having a sale. The rugs look nice in the windows--very pleasing and tasteful. Actually, they may not be right for you.

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Jim will be moving tonight. I feel a night of baking would be welcome.

However, we should talk about future at-work refreshments. We need to be more careful.

P.S. Delete this email and empty trash.

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YES! This makes up for Kelly Kapoor asking me today if the "Starbucks guy on Battlestar Craptica" is as cute as she heard. I think Jim put her up to that. That's exactly his style of misinformation and insult. I will be so glad to get rid of that slacker and get the beet farm back to normal.

Congratulations on the success of your plan. Perhaps you could give me pointers sometime on putting together a plan like that, particularly the logistics of it.

A night of baking would be most welcome.

P.S. Delete this email and empty trash.

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Kelly is an idiot.

P.S. Delete this email and empty trash.

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I see you're busy with Michael. Trying to keep him from turning the conference room into a fort?

I rented a truck for tonight. You're welcome. :-) I'll come by after work and we can load it up--no more nights on the beet farm. I'll whittle you something in celebration. ;-)

Hey, why'd you say the other day that you didn't want to be reminded of Phyllis's wedding? You were having a great time. I was the one who was miserable. :-( I'm glad things are different now. :-)

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I wish you were at your desk right now so I could talk to you. Actually, maybe this is easier in an email.

I can't believe you thought I had fun at Phyllis's wedding. I didn't. You looked more gorgeous than I'd ever seen you, and you weren't mine. I couldn't hold you, and I couldn't touch you, and I couldn't take you home with me, and then you went home with Roy. I hated Phyllis's wedding. I cannot even tell you how much I hated that wedding.

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Pamway! I don't know where you and Jim ran off to, but from the looks of things, you oughta get a room, you know what I'm sayin'? I hope you guys haven't gone for the day though, because I had some really neat ideas I wanted to talk over with Jim and I wanted you to take notes.

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We need a bigger car.

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Michael, I set up a meeting for you and Jim tomorrow at 10; I'll take notes. Jim and I don't need to get a room--we got a whole apartment!

We're moving tonight, so wish us luck.

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When we really need a bigger car, we'll get a bigger car, like when we have a family. ;-) Maybe you should avoid doing things in cars that you're too tall to do in cars. Not that I'm complaining--I was plenty comfortable. ;-)

So, I talked to my mom. She's going to come on Sunday and we can go over all the wedding ideas from the top. Nothing is really set in stone--we can change anything we want to change. We can elope if we want to. We'll start over and make it ours. (Plus, then mom can see the new place! Yay!)

I'm going to go pick up the truck. See you later at the beet farm. Love you.

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Wish you luck? I'll do better than that! I'll help you. It'll be like college, where everybody helps everybody else move into the frat house. And Jim and I will be like the frat brothers, and you'll come from the sorority next door to give a hand. Alpha Beta Zeta-Jones!

Then we can go get pizza. Where are the nearest ‘za joints to your new place?

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I was going to help Jim move, but then he said something about you having a beat party, so now I'm just going to help him load up his stuff from the farm, and then I'll stay with you. Why didn't you tell me about the party earlier? You know I'm crazy for music! We got the beat! We got the beat! (Indigo Girls!) I am down for the beat party! Put me dowwwwn for the beat party.

So, to save gas, I'm just going to let you drive me to my condo, where I'll get my moving clothes and my party clothes. Then you can drive me to your house, we'll load up Jimbo's stuff, see him off, and then party like it's 1999! I already told Jan I'd be staying at your house. Crank up the itunes!

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Change of plans. Michael is coming to help Jim move and to pick beets. I know we were both hoping to bake tonight, but Michael is finally taking an interest in the beet farm, and I want to encourage that. He'll see that I know how to run a business--our sacrifice tonight will not be in vain.

He's only going to stay one night. Tomorrow night is ours. We can bake a double batch.

P.S. Delete this email and empty trash.

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Fine. But if Michael ends up overstaying his welcome, I orchestrate the plan.

P.S. Delete this email and empty trash.