INT. THE OFFICE-JIM'S DESK
Everyone is quietly working when Michael comes tentatively out of his office. He stops at Jim's desk, then raises his arms in an obviously fake yawn.
MICHAEL
Wow. Good to... stretch. Get those... muscles
loosened up.
JIM
(not looking up from writing)
Uh huh.
MICHAEL
(glancing at camera)
Good thing we, um… have these high
ceilings... Gee. I, uh... I wonder how
tall, ah, high these ceilings are.
DWIGHT
Eight feet, six inches. Eight foot three over
by Angela, ah... accounting.
(shakes head)
Apparently, some people have never heard
of a level.
Michael and Jim stare at Dwight. He looks back and forth at the two.
DWIGHT
(annoyed)
As part of my fire safety duties here I have measured
the height and width of every room in this office.
A fire doubles in size every forty-five seconds. If we
were trapped in here we would all be incinerated
in eight minutes.
STANLEY
(monotone)
That long?
MICHAEL
(shaking head)
ANYWAY… the part about… the ceiling
height was kinda interesting…
Eight-six is pretty tall. Ah… how, uh…
how tall are you, Jimbo?
JIM
(still not looking up)
Six-three.
MICHAEL
Whoa! That’s… wow.
Pam sneaks a sly, smiling look at the camera and then sees Jim looking at her. She becomes embarrassed as Jim shakes his head at her, silently amused.
MICHAEL
Pretty... tall. Uh… how tall are you,
Dwight?
DWIGHT
(too quickly)
Six-four!
Everyone stares at him.
DWIGHT
(quietly)
Six-two.
MICHAEL
Jeez... Ok, Andy. You must be like,
what? Five-seven, five-eight?
ANDY
Nope. I am a perfect six feet tall,
boss-man. Six-O. None of those silly...
extra numbers.
MICHAEL
No. No WAY you are taller than...
Andy rises and stands next to Michael. It is clear that Andy is the taller of the two. Michael looks at the camera and shakes his head.
PHYLLIS
What's with the sudden interest in
height, Michael?
Michael looks at Phyllis and then the camera again.
MICHAEL TALKING HEAD
MICHAEL
I was reading an article on line this morning
about how bosses are judged by their male
subordinates by different physical standards
like... weight, height, etc. Like if they are fat or
short they won't be as respected. Or if they limp.
INT. BREAKROOM
Michael is standing next to Stanley as he makes a selection from the vending machine. When Stanley straightens up, Michael sizes himself up next to him, trying to be taller. Stanley looks sideways at Michael, who sees and then leaves.
INT. THE OFFICE- CREED'S DESK
We see Michael stroll over to Creed and then motion at his tie, disapprovingly. He makes a confused Creed stand. Michael starts "straightening" Creed's tie as he does an eyeball measurement. He comes to the realization that Creed is taller than him, too. Michael gets annoyed and walks away. Creed, with his tie now a mess, watches him go.
INT. THE KITCHEN.
Michael is standing near the fridge with his arms crossed, annoyed. Kevin and Toby walk in and stand near him. Michael looks disgustedly at the chatting pair, who are both clearly taller. Michael gives Toby a really nasty look and then pushes past him and leaves. Toby looks at the camera.
MICHAEL (voiceover)
Now... I'm no midget or... little person... or...
is it dwarf? I... I can't keep track of what they want to be
called anymore. But I am... the shortest male in this
office. The shortest. Except for Oscar. Which
doesn't count because Oscar is g... uh... (beat) uh...
Mexican. Which(beat) is a completely
different... standard. But anyway, if
they think less of me out there...
it's not right.
MICHAEL TALKING HEAD
MICHAEL
Because I think when you judge a man
strictly by his height and not his…
(beat) his stature, his place in life…
you demean each and every one of us,
tall OR short.
(nods sincerely, then quietly)
Where’s that pipsqueak Ryan when you
need him?
INT. THE OFFICE-JIM AND DWIGHT’S DESKS
Jim is staring at Michael’s door, which is closed. From behind the door comes the sounds of sawing and banging. Jim looks over at Pam, who has a concerned look. Dwight hangs up his phone and looks quizzically at the door and then Jim. Suddenly the noises stop. There is a pause and then the door opens. Michael steps out, his jacket off and his sleeves rolled up.
MICHAEL
Jim? Can I have a word with you
in my office please?
Jim rises and peeks at Pam before heading towards Michael's office.
INT. MICHAEL'S OFFICE
Jim enters and Michael closes the door behind him. Michael goes around his desk and motions towards the visitor's chair.
MICHAEL
Sit down, Jim.
As Michael sits, Jim moves to the chair and bends. Immediately he drops much further than normal until he finally hits the seat. The chair is obviously shorter. Jim is chin level with Michael’s desk and his knees are up by his chest. Michael leans forward.
MICHAEL
(arrogantly)
NOW, Mr. Halpert. It’s time for you
and me… (beat) YOUR BOSS… to discuss
your…
(looks at camera)
“job performance”
(does air quotes)
in this office.
JIM
(pointing down at seat)
Uh... You… do know this is company
property, right?
Michael sits up even straighter and looks down at Jim disdainfully. Jim looks at the camera and then turns his palms up to Michael.
JIM
I’m just sayin’.
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© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali
© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali