INT. MICHAEL’S OFFICE
Michael is seated at his desk obviously giving something a lot of thought. Dwight is leaning against the wall behind Michael in his usual spot.
DWIGHT
Well… what about Michael?
MICHAEL
DUH. First choice. I just need some
back-ups in case… um…
DWIGHT
In case Jan says no?
MICHAEL
NO, just… options. Other names to
consider if…
DWIGHT
She says no.
MICHAEL
(aggravated)
Fsssshhhh… you know…
(loudly)
Jim! Could you come in here,
please?
We see Jim through Michael’s open door. He rises and heads in.
DWIGHT
Michael, do not ask Jim. He’ll
tell you a stupid name. Like Jim.
MICHAEL
Just… zip it, Dwight. Jim. Need some
suggestions from you. Important.
JIM
Ok.
MICHAEL
I need you to give me a great, strong,
American sounding name for a boy. One
that inspires confidence. And fear. And
hope. And… maybe longing.
JIM
Wow. Um… for Jan’s baby, I assume?
MICHAEL
Yes.
JIM
Are you… positive it’s gonna be
a boy?
MICHAEL
I am definitely (beat) hoping.
(nods to camera)
JIM
Um… alright.
DWIGHT
And Jim. Nothing stupid or asinine.
This is very serious business here.
Naming a child is a sacred honor
in the Schrute family. Second only
to dressing the recently deceased.
Michael frowns up at Dwight while Jim peeks at the camera.
JIM
Well… actually, I was going to suggest
the perfect name that covered all the
bases.
MICHAEL
Yeah?
JIM
How about… Dwight?
MICHAEL
No.
DWIGHT
(shocked)
Dwight.
MICHAEL.
No. Uh-uh. I said cool and… kinda
dangerous sounding. There’s never been
anyone cool named Dwight.
JIM
Dwight D. Eisenhower.
MICHAEL
Any… relation to President
Eisenhower?
JIM
Um… Same guy.
MICHAEL
Hm. Ok. And he dropped the bomb
on Japan so… scary, right?
Both Dwight and Jim look at the camera and shake their heads slightly.
MICHAEL
(crossing arms)
But I need more cool Dwights.
Not sold yet.
JIM
Um… Dwight(beat) Clark.
MICHAEL
Who?
JIM
Played for the 49ers. Famous catch, ’81
NFC Championship to beat the Cowboys.
Basically a hero in San Francisco.
MICHAEL
Oh, I’ve seen footage of that catch!
Over the shoulder and then he spins
and fires the ball to home plate.
Amazing.
JIM
Um… that’s… Willie Mays.
MICHAEL
(oblivious)
Yeah. But I’m gonna need at least
one more cool Dwight, Jimbo.
JIM
Ok. Um… uhhhh…
(looks at Dwight)
Captain America.
Dwight looks sharply at Jim.
MICHAEL
What?
JIM
Captain America. His first name
is… Dwight.
MICHAEL
Is not!
(looks at Dwight)
Is that true, Dwight?
Dwight looks back at forth at Michael and Jim, obviously struggling with what to say. Jim eyes Dwight amusedly, knowing the position he has put him in.
DWIGHT
Um… (beat) Yes, it’s, ah… true. His
name is Dwight. (beat) Dwight… Steven
Rogers.
MICHAEL
(shaking head at Dwight)
Geek.
JIM
So, there you have it. A president,
a football hero and… Captain America.
MICHAEL
Wow. Didn’t know there were so many
Cool Dwights. Definitely worth con-
sidering. Hmmmmm…
(thinks for a moment)
Dwight Great Scott.
JIM
(alarmed)
Wait. His middle name is gonna
be “Great”?
MICHAEL
DUH. What else would it be?
Jim looks at the camera, stunned.
JIM TALKING HEAD
JIM
(still stunned)
You know… it was all fun and games
at first. But if by some terrible,
terrible chance this kid gets
named Dwight Great Scott(beat)
I’m obliged to pay for his therapy
sessions.
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© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali
© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali