INT. APARTMENT BUILDING HALLWAY.

The camera moves up to a door with a brass heading that reads 3B. Then we hear a doorbell. We hear someone approach the door and the peephole gets dark . Then the door swings open and we see Pam, dressed in jeans and a tee shirt. The tees shirt has dried paint smears all over it. Pam smiles widely.

PAM
Hey! You're here! Come in!

INT. PAM'S APARTMENT(continous)

The camera enters the apartment and quickly scans around before settling back on Pam. We briefly see the boom mike.

PAM
I can't believe you guys wanted to come all
the way to Brooklyn to see my place! Wow.
(beat) so... this is it! It's pretty much like a dorm
so I share it with two other girls who are not
here right now. Brittany, who is from
LAWN-GUYLAND
(exxagerates the pronunciation)
and Crystal, who is from Brooklyn.
Or as I have been told to say it:
"Brooklyn, Brooklyn, funky, funky Fresh".
(crosses her arms in little hip-hop pose)
I think they just get a kick out of me saying that.

Pam laughs and then motions towards the living room. The camera spins and we see a small but functional area with nice furniture. It looks comfortable. A little spartan but very nice.

PAM
This is our living room. Or, as we call
it, the beer and nap room.

Pam points towards a small kitchen.

PAM
That's the kitchen, but since only one of
us can fit in there at a time we don't hang out
in it. Let me show you my room.

The camera follows as Pam heads that way.

PAM
Wow, it's good to see you guys. I actually
missed you... pretty much.

INT. PAM'S BEDROOM

Pam enters her room and the camera follows. We see a small neat room. Sunlight pours in through a window near the bed. There is a small TV and cd/radio component atop a dresser. There are sketches and little paintings everywhere.

PAM
SO... this is my bedroom! Small but
comfortable. And soundproofed JUST
enough that I barely hear the sirens.

The camera zooms in on a photobooth picture of Pam and Jim, tucked into a long mirror on a closet door. They are smiling widely in one and sticking their tongues out in the next. The last two pics show them kissing, first jokingly and then more seriously.

PAM
Oh... that's us at Coney Island. We...

The camera pans from the pictures to the bed, then back to the pictures and again to the bed.Then the camera focuses on Pam, who is giving the camera an even look. She point to the door and the camera heads back out into the living room. Pam closes her door on her way out and pulls out her cell.

PAM
Let me tell Jim that you pervs are here.

Pam holds her phone out to the camera. It's on speakerphone and we hear the ringing. Then Jim answers, somewhat breathlessly.

JIM
Hello?

PAM
Hey!

JIM
(excited)
Pam? Are they there?

PAM
Um.. yeah, they are. What...?

JIM
OH MY GOD, you guys are gonna die. You will
not believe the day we've had here!

PAM
Oh no... what happened?

JIM
Ok, FIRST... Meredith came in completely drunk
and threw up all over the reception area.

PAM
WHAT?

JIM
Yep.Then she passed out and we had to call EMS.

PAM
No way!

JIM
Oh, that's nothing. Then Michael and Stanley got
into a huge argument during a meeting and Stanley
threw his crossword puzzle book at him and quit.

PAM
NO!

JIM
But wait! There's more! THIS is the kicker! Dwight and
Andy got into a fist fight...

PAM
You're lying!

JIM(continued)
...over a certain... blonde... ice cube. During the melee,
which was one of the worst baby fights I have ever seen,
Michael got punched in the eye and Kevin fell into the copier
and broke it. Pam... David Wallace is PERSONALLY  coming
down to handle this. It's unbelievable.

PAM
Oh my God.
(looking at watch)
And, JIm... It's... it's only 11:03.

JIM
I know. The most INSANE day in Dunder-Mifflin
history... and you guys are in Brooklyn filming Pam's
bathroom. Boy, are you in trouble.

There is silence for a moment as Pam looks sympathetically at the camera. Then the camera and the boom starts to move rapidly towards the door. Pam laughs.

PAM
They're leaving, Jim!
(laughs again)
Wait, wait, we're kidding!

JIM
(laughing)
Kidding! Totally kidding!

The camera comes back over as Pam and Jim laugh.

JIM
Are they angry, Pam?

PAM
No... more like relieved.

Pam and Jim laugh.

PAM
So what is really going on?

JIM
Absolutely nothing. I mean, nothing.
I've died of boredom at least three times
so fa... WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

PAM
(startled)
What?

JIM
Dwight's Cousin Mose just came in with a
bunch of pigs! You can't bring those in here!

PAM
(smirking to camera)
Yeah, ok, Jim. I think we've worn this out...

Suddenly, a piercing scream comes through the phone. Pam and the camera both jump.

DWIGHT
(clearly through phone)
Mose, what are you doing?!?

Pam looks wide eyed at the camera. A mumbly, indistinct  voice is heard.

DWIGHT
No, I said bring them to the slaughterhouse,
and my wallet here! Why would they need my
wallet at the Polarized Meat Company?

JIM
Wow.

There is more mumbling and then another scream.

MICHAEL
(further from phone)
Kelly, why are you screaming...Dwight! GOD!
What the HELL?

JIM
This is crazy...

PAM
No.. this is a prank, right?

JIM
I wish... oh boy, here comes Hank.

HANK
(further away)
Hey! What the hell...

There is a mish-mash of yelling and screaming and, ever so slightly, oinking. We hear Jim's phone being jostled.

PAM
(concerned)
Jim?

JIM
KELLY, get off of me! Dwight! This pig is...
Aw, jeez, now I hear sirens! Pam, I gotta...

PAM
No, wait...

JIM
Get OFF of me! Pam, I have to go...
Hey!! This pig is eating my...

Suddenly the line goes dead. Pam stares at the phone in horror. Then she looks at the camera, stunned. She puts her phone down and looks around the apartment and then back to the camera.

PAM
So... um... this is my place.
(laughs nervously, then stares)
Oh! Um.. would you like to see the... bathroom?
Cause it's... um... nice. It's...
(beat)
Oh, just go already.

The camera turns and heads quickly for the door. The door is opened and then the camera goes through.

PAM
(offscreen)
Oh! Tell Jim I said...

We hear Pam's door slam and the camera heads quickly down the stairs.