INT. THE OFFICE-RECEPTION AREA
Pam is seated and Jim is in his customary position leaning against the counter. They are both laughing quietly.
JIM
Wow. You are… a bit randy today.
PAM
I’m not randy, I’m Pam. I only play
randy on TV.
JIM
(laughing)
What?
PAM
(laughing as well)
I don’t know… I’m silly today.
JIM
Oh, yeah…
Just then we hear some noise behind the camera. The camera swings around and we see a delivery person carrying a large box coming in through the main doors. He walks over to reception and puts it down. Pam stands and takes the electronic pad and signs it.
PAM
(to Jim)
From corporate. Christmas presents.
JIM
Yikes.
The delivery person leaves and Pam comes around the counter. She opens the box and looks in.
PAM
Robes.
JIM
Again? You gotta be kidding me.
PAM
As a matter of fact, I am kidding you.
JIM
(to camera)
I've been had.
PAM
(with mischievous, sexy smile)
OH, yes, you certainly have.
Jim looks at her with wide eyes and then looks at the camera with the same expression. Pam laughs. Just then Michael comes sprinting out of his office and over to reception.
MICHAEL
Did you say robes? Yes! Gimmegimmegimmegimme…
Pam and Jim look at each other and then back to Michael.
PAM
No, I wasn't… serious… it's hats.
Pam takes out a baseball cap with the D/M logo on it. Michael slumps.
MICHAEL
Damn. I've told you NOT to joke around about
things like that!
PAM
When… did you tell me…?
MICHAEL
Never mind! Oh, that sucks! I really need a new
Dunder-Mifflin robe!
JIM
What happened to the last one?
MICHAEL
It got… messed up. Pipe burns, Candle wax, dye…
(smiles grimly to camera)
Um… Jan and I…
JIM
Ok… you don't have to…
MICHAEL
We were playing Hugh Hefner/Playboy Bunny…
Man, that…
(trailing off)
…that bunny costume is tight...
Pam and Jim's eyes widen as they stare at each other. Jim peeks at the camera then at the floor. Michael shifts uncomfortably.
PAM
Um… so, yeah… hats. Sorry.
MICHAEL
Aw, come on. I really liked that robe. Big, roomy. I bet you could
wrap two people up in it.
PAM
Well… you can have mine.
MICHAEL
Hmmmm… now, as much as I wouldn't mind smelling
the Pam scent… the Pambiance…
(laughs to camera)
PAM
I've never worn it, Michael. It… it kinda reminds me of
a bad time.
Pam glances at Jim and then quickly looks down. Jim looks concerned.
MICHAEL
Really? Wow, cool! Thanks, Pam!
JIM
Actually… I've never worn mine either. Didn't…
feel like I should. Not at that time.
Pam looks up at Jim.
JIM (continued)
But now… I've got the best reason in the world.
Pam looks up at Jim and gives him an amazingly sweet smile. Jim smiles back.
PAM
Hmmmm… maybe we SHOULD see if you can
wrap two people up in it, then…
JIM
(smiling broadly)
I knew I held on to that thing for a good reason.
MICHAEL
What two people? Like… two dead people? You're
gonna wrap up two stiffs and dump them in a
Dundler-Mifflin robe? This isn't the Sopranos.
(laughs to camera)
PAM
No, that's not… ok.
MICHAEL
So, what, like a college prank? I don't get it.
(lower)
Is it on Dwight? You can tell me.
JIM
Break time.
PAM
Yes.
Pam puts her phone on automatic answer and she and Jim head towards the back. A confused Michael looks at the camera and then the couple.
MICHAEL
Seriously, what two people? Come on!
Jim and Pam go through the door as Michael throws his hands up to the camera.
MICHAEL TALKING HEAD
MICHAEL
Ok, did you get that? That was so vague.
What two people...
(Michael's eyes widen)
Oh. OHHHHHH! I get it! Holy crap!
(Michael stares at the camera in shock)
Pam is PREGGERS. Wow. (beat)
I hope she can wrap two people up in her
wedding dress, too.
(shakes his head to the camera)
Author's Chapter Notes:
Here ya go, Callisto! And thanks to a suggestion by Donna at LITO, it's a Christmas one. Now, I just survived a real bloodletting at my job (wow, people are just getting laid off EVERYWHERE) so I'm not sure how funny this is. But I hope you like and I really appreciate you reading it. Have a merry Christmas, everyone.
