INT. CONFERENCE ROOM
Michael stands at the head of the room as everyone sits, looking quite bored. Michael is obviously going on about something.
MICHAEL
So. I'm watching this and I say to myself, "Gee.
This would be the PERFECT movie to use as an
example of how to work effectively as a team".
JIM
(puzzled)
Bonnie and Clyde?
MICHAEL
Yes, Bonnie and Clyde. With their gang they
overcame obstacles and worked as a group to
achieve incredible goals.
PAM
Like... robbing banks and shooting police
officers?
MICHAEL
Exactly. They were great. The public adored
that gang. Everybody loves a smooth. well-
oiled unit. That's what she said.
(smiles to camera)
If we think more like them, we can become
great, too. Legends. We can go on to have
fantastic things happen to us, just like they did.
JIM
Actually... they both got shot to death
by a heavily armed, vengeful posse.
MICHAEL
See... you're focusing too much on the outcome.
I'm trying to get you thinking about the... in... um...
(trying to remember)
....the in....
PAM
The... income?
MICHAEL
No, no... Not the income. The in... damn.
What's the phrase? A group or family unit working
together... working out.... stuff. Crap. What is it? In...
In...
DWIGHT
Inbreeding?
Jim gives the camera a Jim-Face.
KELLY
Internet?
MEREDITH
Intercourse?
ANDY
Interior decorator?
OSCAR
(pointing at Andy)
That was him, not me.
MICHAEL
No, no, no. How does any of that make sense?
I can't think of the phrase. Somebody used it the
other day.
CREED
Insulin? Insanity Clause? Intubation tube?
Everyone stares at Creed.
CREED
I used all those the other day.
KEVIN
(afraid to know)
The... words? Or the actual...?
MICHAEL
(shaking his head)
Freak. Come on, people! What's this word?
ANGELA
(sighing)
How about... inefficient? As in inefficient
use of our time.
(crosses arms, looks annoyed).
MICHAEL
Jim! I think it was you that said it. We were
talking about that thing... with the... thing.
JIM
Oh, that.
MICHAEL
You remember. In...
(rolls hand for Jim to continue)
JIM
Voluntary Manslaughter?
MICHAEL
No.
JIM
Inferior life-forms?
DWIGHT
That was Michael and I talking, not you.
JIM
Indecent Proposal?
PAM
(low)
Don't give him any ideas, please.
PHYLLIS
I like that movie. How about Interview With
a Vampire?
Everyone murmurs various approvals of the movie.
MICHAEL
No, no! Come on! How is Interview with a Vampire
gonna help us become a better team unit?
PAM
But you were using Bonnie and..
MICHAEL
Never mind the movie! I just want us to think together.
Be a team. Say
(in exaggerated black voice)
"I got yo back!". Right, Stanley?
Stanley looks up at the camera and shakes his head.
MICHAEL(continued)
When there's a problem here, I want us, as a group,
to...
(gets happy)
Wait! That's the phrase I was looking for!
Collaborative problem solving!
(looks at camera proudly)
Everyone looks completely confused.
JIM
Um... two things. One... PRETTY sure I've
never said that before in my life. And two...
That does not start with I N.
MICHAEL
No.. it doesn't. When I, um.. heard it in my head...
it did.
Michael looks at the camera, as does Jim and Pam.
MICHAEL
Anyway... um... there was another movie that's a
good example of that... um... uh... dammit. What's
that movie? Jim! It has... that guy... he's old.
(beat) Crap.
STANLEY
(sliding down in his seat)
Oh Lord...
Everyone groans.
Author's Chapter Notes:
WOW. I feel rusty. This one was a struggle for some reason. I hope you like, and if not, please be kind. : )
