PBeesly: Hey how’s it going?

JHalpert: You know what? I don’t think I’ve ever been this bored in my life.

PBeesly: Wow haven’t heard that one before.

JHalpert: I’m serious though! Dwight and Michael aren’t here – the place is completely dead! I’m actually not sure if Creed is conscious!

PBeesly: Missing them are you? I knew you loved them.

JHalpert: Ok I’m really going to pretend you didn’t say that.

PBeesly: Aren’t you in charge? Can’t you make them do whatever you want?

JHalpert: That is what she said.

PBeesly: But you’re the cool guy everyone listens to you.

JHalpert: Oh Pam. Don’t get me wrong, its nice that you think so highly of me… but in case you didn’t notice, the office isn’t full of 15 Pam Beesly’s… I would be having a lot more fun if it was.

PBeesly: You’re so sweet… and a total wimp.

JHalpert: Come on Pam you know how boring this place gets! I’m thinking of holding a conference room meeting just to liven everyone up!

PBeesly: Ok if you realised what you just said you would be as scared as me right now!

JHalpert: What did I say??

PBeesly: Are you sure it doesn’t remind you of someone?!

JHalpert: Who?

PBeesly: Think about it Jim… it sounds a lot like someone we know!

JHalpert: No. No I don’t think so.

PBeesly: Oh I think you think you so Jim…

JHalpert: No way Pam! This is in the name of fun!

PBeesly: And when Michael does it its in the name of… what? Awkward ignorance?

JHalpert: Holy crap.

PBeesly: Oh my gosh!! What if Michael was exactly like you when he first started here???

JHalpert: No Pam. Don’t go down that road!

PBeesly: Think about it Jim, he could have been just like you – popular, funny, lovable, sure he was going to be here for a maximum of one year…

JHalpert: And then what? He fell in love with an engaged receptionist?? Don’t forget Beesly I met the receptionist who was here before you. He wouldn’t appreciate the speculation.

PBeesly: Ok not necessarily in love with anyone… maybe Dwight…

JHalpert: Nice.

PBeesly: But as soon as he got a little power he started mutating and evolving!!

JHalpert: You’re enjoying torturing me way too much.

PBeesly: Until finally he became Michael Scott, Dunder Mifflin Regional Manager – Wannabe Extraordinaire!!

JHalpert: No Pam. It’s not true! He’s been like that since he was a kid!

PBeesly: And look at you Jim – how many years have you worked there now? 6 is it?

JHalpert: No! 5 and a half…

PBeesly: Now you’re number 2, got a little power and thinking you should hold a meeting about how boring everyone is!! Oh this is awesome. Expect me to use this to my advantage for the rest of our lives Jim!

JHalpert: I see what’s going on here… So you’re off chasing your dream and you think its funny I’m not chasing mine. 

PBeesly: Yeah something like that.

JHalpert: Well, the jokes on you Pam because I’ve already found my dream.

PBeesly: Are you going to say me?

JHalpert: Actually I was going to say Guitar Hero 3 so… not sure you know me as well as you think you do.

PBeesly: You’re turning into Michael.

JHalpert: And there it is – just put it straight out there.

PBeesly: That’s what she said.

JHalpert: I’m not turning into Michael.

PBeesly: No. But you are.

JHalpert: I told you I was bored not looking for a shaken personal identity!

PBeesly: You’re right… but I’m a lot less bored now.

JHalpert: Not the issue – was it? I was bored not you.

PBeesly: Ok then think of it this way – your beautiful fiancé who/m you’ve loved for years is fulfilling her duty of being both fancy and new by removing your power goggles (which are like beer goggles except this time your vision is blurred by power) and waking you to the danger before its too late.

JHalpert: …You leave her in a school for 3 weeks and she turns into an expert…

PBeesly: :::sigh:: Don’t worry Jim, I know you’re jealous, you don’t have to admit it.

JHalpert: Fine so annoying everyone else is out of the question… right on time, thank you very much!

PBeesly: What?

DKSchrute has been added to the conversation.

DKSchrute: I’m sitting right next to you this is a waste of greenhouse energy.

JHalpert: Oh and the fact that your computer’s already on isn’t going to hurt the planet.

DKSchrute: That is irrelevant I am using it for good.

JHalpert: Oh so you mean selling paper cancels out the greenhouse gases?

PBeesly: Hey Dwight!

DKSchrute: Hello Pamela. Haven’t learnt to control your fiancé yet I see.

PBeesly: Not yet no. Trust me, I’m working on it.

JHalpert: Is she ever.

DKSchrute: By now I would have expected better.

PBeesly: That’s what she said.

JHalpert: That’s what Angela said?

PBeesly: Oh too far.

DKSchrute: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

PBeesly: Yeah Jim!

JHalpert: Hey I’m just impressed he’s still talking to me on IM when he’s sitting two feet in front of me.

PBeesly: He’s not actually yelling at you??

JHalpert: Just typing furiously.

DKSchrute: I’ll have you know that Angela Martin and I have extended ourselves beyond either person’s expectations both physically and emotionally.

PBeesly: Oh my god my eyes! Where’s the stop-talking-button on IM??

JHalpert: So those ballet lessons are really paying off huh?

PBeesly: What are you doing?? Why are you encouraging him??

DKSchrute: I think you know what I’m talking about Jim.

JHalpert: Oh you mean ping pong?

DKSchrute: No.

PBeesly: Twister?

DKSchrute: Very funny.

JHalpert: Oh I’ve got it – the tango.

PBeesly: That’s a tough one.

DKSchrute: Sex! I mean sex!

JHalpert: Sex?

PBeesly: Never heard of it. Have you Jim?

JHalpert: Can’t say I have Pam.

DKSchrute: Oh yeah very funny. You’re engaged and you haven’t had sex?

PBeesly: Depends what sex is… I’m still a little confused.

JHalpert: Me too… is it a game?

PBeesly: Oh is it like charades?

JHalpert: We should give it a go if it’s like charades.

PBeesly: Totally!

JHalpert: Maybe Dwight should join in.

PBeesly: No I don’t think he should.

JHalpert: No I don’t think he should either.

PBeesly: Hey Dwight I have this theory about Jim do you want to hear it?

DKSchrute: Unless it’s a way to have him arrested for years of taunting, I don’t care and it is irrelevant.

PBeesly: I think he’s turning into Michael.

JHalpert: Here we go.

DKSchrute: Ridiculous. Mutation into someone else is impossible and even if it wasn’t, Michael’s ability to resist Jim’s powers is far too strong. He would not succeed.

JHalpert: Wait – you mean… I couldn’t take over his body?

DKSchrute: Of course… and the fact that you think you could is ridiculous.

PBeesly: Oh Dwight… You have no idea what you just said.

JHalpert: What makes you think I couldn’t?

DKSchrute: Because it’s impossible… even if you could you’d have no idea of the methodology.

JHalpert: I have mind powers don’t I?

 DKSchrute: There’s a difference between minor, almost non-existent telekinesis and body possession.  

JHalpert: How do you know telekettlesis is the only power I have?

PBeesly: Telekinesis.

JHalpert: Yeah… that.

DKSchrute: Why wouldn’t you have shown me? 

JHalpert: Maybe it’s too dangerous… maybe I don’t know who I can trust. Pam’s the only person I’ve told… and I only did when she started worrying about where I went at night.

DKSchrute: Where did you go at night?!

PBeesly: Strawberries!

JHalpert: Sorry?

PBeesly: Strawberries! Remember the code word?

DKSchrute: What code word? Why do you have a code word Jim?? Tell me!

JHalpert: Oh the code word, right. I better go Dwight – got a lot of work to do.

DKSchrute: No – wait – tell me why you have a code word!

PBeesly: Strawberries!

DKSchrute: No – stop it Pam!

JHalpert: I’ve gotta go Dwight – sorry man.

 JHalpert has left the conversation. 

DKSchrute: Dammit!

PBeesly: He’s still sitting two feet in front of you isn’t he Dwight?

DKSchrute: Yes. So?

PBeesly: So you can actually talk to him off IM.

DKSchrute: Don’t be ridiculous Pam – do you really think I would talk about superpowers in the Office?? Who knows who could be listening!

PBeesly: Oh right – what was I thinking!

PBeesly: You know… he’s not the only one with powers…

DKSchrute: Oh you mean you have them too? Very funny.

PBeesly: The thing is… I’m not actually in New York Dwight.

DKSchrute: Oh really? Where are you then?

PBeesly: In heaven…

DKSchrute: …what?

PBeesly: Jim made up the New York story when he found out I had cancer.

DKSchrute: Ok. Sure. Then who was the person he proposed to two weeks ago on the roof?

PBeesly: My ghost.

DKSchrute: Jim is engaged to a ghost? Yeah right.

PBeesly: I wouldn’t tell you if it wasn’t true Dwight. But don’t make a big scene… Jim doesn’t show it but he’s pretty upset about the whole thing.

DKSchrute: Prove it Pam.

PBeesly: Sprinkles is with me. He says you killed him – he’s pretty angry Dwight.

DKSchrute: How do you know about that?

PBeesly: Look after Jim for me Dwight.

DKSchrute: Oh my God!

 DKSchrute has left the conversation.

JHalpert has joined the conversation. 

JHalpert: Ok why did Dwight just hug me and start crying??