PBeesly: Or who?
JHalpert: No Pam. He’s with Jan. Even if could, not even Michael is stupid enough to cheat on a crazy person.
PBeesly: Oh come on she can’t be that crazy.
JHalpert: I was there when she was fired remember? And yes Pam. Yes she is that crazy.
PBeesly: Maybe he’s gone to hide in an alleyway somewhere so he can eat his 18 layered pretzels in peace… he doesn’t want Jan to gain anymore weight.
JHalpert: And he’s sharing them with his new homeless best friend, Houseless Harry.
PBeesly: Or Alleyway Anne.
JHalpert: Wow. Are we not the coolest couple ever?
PBeesly: I haven’t met anyone better yet.
PBeesly: A strip club? I don’t think Jan would have tagged a private detective on him yet.
JHalpert: Would he really be able to keep that a secret?
PBeesly: Yeah, you’re right. He’d tell everyone… and probably ask us to come along… Unless he’s too scared to say anything.
JHalpert: Oh. Got it. Jan’s threatened to kill him.
PBeesly: Why would he go if he knows Jan’ll kill him?
JHalpert: You know Michael. He can’t resist a free coupon.
PBeesly: Hmm… Good point.
JHalpert: Maybe he just has improv class.
PBeesly: Jim that lacked so much imagination it saddens me.
JHalpert: That’s what she said.
JHalpert: I know. Tango lessons.
PBeesly: Tango lessons?
JHalpert: With Dwight.
PBeesly: Tango lessons with Dwight?
JHalpert: It already says that on the screen doesn’t it?
PBeesly: It’s a little far-fetched don’t you think?
JHalpert: So is everything else we’ve said.
PBeesly: Hmm… ok convince me Halpert.
JHalpert: Well it’s easy. Tango lessons were Dwight and Angela’s favorite secret activity and when they broke up Dwight needed a new partner. So who’s the first person he’d think of for anything?
PBeesly: Michael.
JHalpert: Exactly. Tango lessons are definitely no exception.
PBeesly: And since Michael needs to get away from Crazy Jan, he’d do anything.
JHalpert: You’ve got it Beesly.
PBeesly: Impressive.
JHalpert: Thank you.
PBeesly: What if Jan’s mixed them up in some huge money scandal? And they have to go meet with the Godfather tonight to convince them not to blow up Michael’s condo.
JHalpert: Wow.
PBeesly: Big huh?
JHalpert: Yeah! But why would he be so upset to miss dinner with us if he’s meeting the father of the mafia?
PBeesly: Well I’d rather have dinner with us than meet the mafia.
JHalpert: Yeah you’re right, me too.
PBeesly: Maybe he has a double life.
JHalpert: Let me guess, Agent Michael Scarn?
PBeesly: Exactly! Maybe he’s off meeting Catherine Zeta-Jones right now and secretly saving the world.
JHalpert: Wow. I’ve just had a huge vision of Michael meeting with someone who looks a lot like Agent 99 from Get Smart.
PBeesly: Yeah! They’re meeting in the post box out the front.
JHalpert: Which is actually the entrance to a giant secret government headquarters.
PBeesly: Oh high-five.
JHalpert: Teamwork Pam, teamwork.
PBeesly: I’ve sent letters to my mom in that post box.
PBeesly: Are you sure he’s not secretly hooking up with Alleyway Anne?
JHalpert: Pam as much as we all love Alleyway Anne…
PBeesly: You’re right. She’s too good for him.
JHalpert: Plus Houseless Harry has been secretly in love with Alleyway Anne for years.
PBeesly: And she’s been too pre-occupied with a Going Nowhere Relationship with Garbage Garry to realise she feels the same way for Houseless Harry.
JHalpert: Oh my God. We just summarized our past relationship with homeless people.
PBeesly: It can happen to anyone Jim.
JHalpert: Even someone with a lame same letter nickname?
PBeesly: Especially someone with a lame same letter nickname.
