PBeesly: Hi!

JHalpert: Hey.

PBeesly: What are you doing?

JHalpert: I’m actually a little busy for once.

PBeesly: Uh huh.

PBeesly: A little busy with what?

JHalpert: Just some stupid request my client wanted.

PBeesly: Right.

PBeesly: What was the request?

JHalpert: I can tell you’re not busy.

PBeesly: I don’t think I’ve ever been this bored in my life.

PBeesly: Besides, you know, yesterday…

JHalpert: Well sorry, can’t help you.

PBeesly: Dwight’s underpants have cartoon beets on them.

PBeesly: Andy’s are souvenir Cornell University thongs.

PBeesly:  Michael’s are Winnie the Pooh.

JHalpert: I’m sorry. What is this? Messing up your boyfriend with information he obviously doesn’t want to know, which we might have to talk about, while he’s on the phone.

PBeesly: Well… it’s more just messing with your boyfriend period.

JHalpert: What happened to messing with Dwight?

PBeesly: A few things actually. One: it isn’t as fun when you’re not doing it with me (that’s what she said).

PBeesly: Two: you should not be enveloped in your work and ignoring me that is incredibly unhealthy.

PBeesly: Three: Your face is really funny when you forget what you’re saying on the phone.

PBeesly: And four: Dwight probably knows what Michael’s underpants actually are and nobody likes being corrected on their own joke.

JHalpert: Thank you. That’s two minutes of waiting in my life I will never get back.

PBeesly: Do I need to bribe you? That would be a new low for us.

JHalpert: Depends what you mean by ‘bribe’.

PBeesly: I never thought Jim Halpert could give anyone a sleazy look!

JHalpert: This new relationship of ours is full of surprises.

PBeesly: Lunch and a kiss (if you’re lucky) if you think of something new to do to Dwight.

JHalpert: Like what? A wedgie?

PBeesly: That could work.

JHalpert: Wow. You are bored aren’t you?

PBeesly: Ooo! Idea! I’ll tie some string to a pin and a paperclip and hide it in the desk somewhere. And if you put the paperclip on his underpants, when he gets up his little man warmers will stay where they are.

JHalpert: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

PBeesly: What?

JHalpert: Little man warmers???

PBeesly: Don’t ask me why I call them that.

JHalpert: Oh you see now we have a problem.

PBeesly: Why?

JHalpert: Because now I have to ask you why you call them that.

PBeesly: No you don’t. Don’t you have work to do?

JHalpert: I don’t like ignoring you. I was enveloped. It’s incredibly unhealthy.

PBeesly: No. You know that was a typo actually.

JHalpert: Oh definitely Miss 90 Words per Minute.

PBeesly: Damn your memory! You’re like an elephant!

JHalpert: That’s what she said ;).

PBeesly: We need to focus here.

JHalpert: Absolutely. How do I get a hold of his Little Man Warmers again?

PBeesly: You’re not funny.

JHalpert: You’re right. Sorry.

JHalpert: One thing. What do you want for your birthday again? Some Little Lady Warmers?

PBeesly: Phone!

JHalpert: I just bought some Little Man Warmers yesterday actually.

JHalpert: They cost a little more because they were “wedgie-free”.

JHalpert: They’re Little Man Security Guards.

JHalpert: Ooo that had to be embarrassing.

PBeesly: That’s really professional of you.

JHalpert: Hey I’m not the one who burst out laughing while they were on the phone to a customer.

JHalpert: I’m sure they have a new respect for our company.

PBeesly: I hope you’re wearing your Little Man Security Guards right now.

JHalpert: Oh really?

PBeesly: Yeah really!

JHalpert: Look at us! We’re turning against each other.

PBeesly: You’re right. Look at him with his huge forehead and his $2 tie.

JHalpert: It’s like he’s sending out a silent message.

PBeesly: “Give me a wedgie, I deserve it.”

JHalpert: “Jim, Pam, I’m having the time of my life selling paper. Ruin it for me.”

PBeesly: I’ll find some string.

JHalpert: I have a stash of paperclips in my draw.