Jim woke up the next morning with a clear understanding of what he wanted. He knew he needed to stop waiting for something to happen and make it happen.

He had gone out shopping that afternoon, and picked out a few items that he was planning on using in the evening.

He took the bus down to Pam’s store later and waited for her to close up. He was watching her through the small front window and forced himself to not chicken out. There had been at least four times he almost turned away and went home but he was trying to be different. He was trying to take charge of his life and he knew this was one of the things he needed to do.

“Pam?” Jim approached her as she locked up and almost made her drop her belongings. She turned to see him gripping what appeared to be a handful of picture frames.

“James? What are you doing here?”

“Actually you know what, call me Jim.”

“Jim? I like that, okay, Jim it is.” She hadn’t moved from her spot in front of the store door and she appeared to be getting nervous.

“I brought you these.” Jim turned the picture frames around in his arms and began handing them to her, one by one. Pam had to set her purse down at her feet and stared at the pictures perplexed.

“What are they?”

“Flowers. I brought you flowers.” He had gone to a local art shop near Toby’s place and picked out 12, 3x5 portraits of flowers all framed. They were all different, some were bouquets, some were solitaire blooms, and some were black and white. “There’s a dozen there, just for you. They’re all different, unique in their own way, but ultimately beautiful, just like you.”

Pam was a loss for words and had to choke back the tears forming in her eyes. This man she barely knew had suddenly become so emotional, so powerful, so charming in a mere matter of seconds.

“Why? Thank you, but, why? What do you want…from me?”

Jim stared down at her face completely losing himself in her eyes. He knew that if he didn’t say what he’d wanted to he would soon lose the nerve. This was the moment he needed to seize; this was the opportunity to make him happy.

“I want you.” He didn’t falter, he never wavered, and he continued to stare directly into her hazel eyes, begging her silently to respond.

Pam stared back at him and realized this man had just carried all of these pictures, just for her. Giving her something special, something just for her, she realized someone hadn’t done that in a long time. She nodded at him and began to walk towards her car. “Would you mind carrying these to my car?”

Jim scooped the frames out of her arms and followed her quickly to the little blue Toyota. She popped open her trunk and he gently laid them across the soft fabric. He turned back at her after closing the trunk, and she smiled warmly at him and reached out for his hand.

He stared down at their fingers, now entwined, and lost the movement of his tongue.

“I made some pie yesterday. Do you want to come over and have some? At my place?” Pam gently squeezed his fingertips and blinked her eyes slowly.

“Sure.”

“Great. Get in.”

****

The two of them sat at Pam’s dining room table having homemade cherry pie, talking about the world, politics, music, and life. Jim never shared with her about the voice, actually he’d forgotten about her completely. Pam had the ability to release the tension building in his neck with just a smile. She was great at making him laugh and helping him forget the problems in his world.

She picked up their plates and headed into the kitchen to clean up.

“You know I can do that. I’ll be more than happy to clean up. I mean you made a pie, which is by far a lot more complicated than doing dishes, I’m sure.”

“No. Go sit down on the couch, I’m just going to put them in the sink.”

“Alright, if you insist.”

“I insist.” She disappeared behind the small dividing wall and Jim heard the faucet turn on over the sink.

He walked the few small feet to the living room and sat down on her couch. The room was oozing Pam. It spoke her name in all the things that filled it. The rug, the paint color, the lamp, and over on the chair across from Jim sat an acoustic guitar. Jim found himself dreaming he’d stepped into a parallel universe.

“Do you play guitar?” He yelled out to the kitchen so she could hear him over the water.

“Oh, no, actually, I got that as a present from my mom. She thinks that because I’m artistic that also means I’m musically talented. I just fiddle on it. Do you play?”

“Yeah a little.”

“Play me something.” Pam peered from around the corner her hair falling down over her shoulders.

“Okay, I can do that. You did feed me after all.”

“Exactly! You owe me.” Jim was sure he saw her wink at him.

He leaned over the coffee table between him and the chair and didn’t have to reach too far to grip the neck of the guitar. He pulled it to his waist and positioned his fingers over the strings. He began to strum, and Pam turned the water off and smiled as he began to sing.

“When I was a young boy
My mama said to me
There's only one girl in the world for you
And she probably lives in Tahiti”

Pam came out of the kitchen and leaned against the door frame watching Jim strum on the strings, his eyes were closed as he continued to sing softly.

“I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world
Just to find her”

Pam found herself being pulled towards him, closer to him as he sung, for her. She sat down next to him when he continued the next verse. She knew this song and she loved it. She mouthed the words along as he returned to the chorus.

“I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world
Just to find her
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world
Find out where they hide her”

Jim felt her sit down next to him and he slowly opened his eyes to watch her sing along. He stopped when he got to the end of the chorus and the room filled with a warm silence.

Suddenly, Pam reached over the guitar and cupped Jim’s face in her hands. Pressing her lips hard over his mouth, kissing him vigorously, she pushed his back up against the couch and the guitar tilted between their bodies. He wrapped his long arms around her body and tried pulling her in closer but the guitar was still between them.

Pam had to pull away for a moment releasing his lips to push the guitar down, it slid off of his knees and fell onto the soft rug beneath them. She leaned back over to Jim and pressed her mouth fully over his. He inhaled in her scent, soap, lavender, and a hint of acrylic paint. It was intoxicating.

His arms were tight around her waist and he was pulling her closer to his chest when she positioned herself up on her knees and moved one leg over his waist. She sat down on his lap and pressed her chest against his tight as he squeezed her body closer.

She leaned back to take a deep breath and he spoke quietly trying not to break the spell. “Pam…”

She nodded at him and just responded, “I know. I want you too.” With that she pressed her lips hard again and he pushed her down against the couch laying his body over hers. His fingers were fumbling at the hem of her tank top and her hands gripped his sweater tightly. He leaned up and pulled it over his head leaving his hair messy and tousled; he was devastatingly handsome.

Pam smiled up at him and found him utterly sexy. She hadn’t noticed how lean he was or how broad his shoulders were, until now. “I love your hair like that. You should always wear it messy.” She reached her fingers up to his neck and linked them through the hair pulling him back down against her.

The twosome ended up enjoying each other's bodies all over Pam’s living room. They initially started on the couch but eventually lost balance and tumbled to the floor. Jim hit his elbow on the underside of the coffee table at one point and Pam stubbed her toe on the leg of the couch, but neither of them noticed.

Eventually late in the night Pam pulled Jim up off the floor and walked him upstairs to her bedroom. They crawled under the sheets and he pulled her head close to his chest. He finally closed his eyes and fell asleep after he heard her breathing slow down and her heart rate decrease.

****

Jim stood in front of the bedroom window looking through the blinds at Pam’s garden in the backyard. There were two blue birds splashing in her birdbath and he found himself smiling at the feeling of belonging. He loved the smell of her bedroom, loved the feeling of her skin, loved the hominess of her place, and loved how it all made him feel. He didn’t want it to end, he wanted to be able to come back day after day, year after year, and he needed to do something about it.

He silently got dressed and left Pam a note on the pillow beside her. He leaned down and kissed her forehead gently, making sure not to wake her and he headed outside to catch the downtown bus.

Jim called Michael’s office phone and almost hung up after three rings when Michael breathlessly answered.

“Hello?”

“Michael it’s…Jim. Um do you know where Jan’s publishing company is? I need to find her, I need to try and talk to her.”