Thursday, December 27 -

Pam thought the day couldn't possibly go any slower. The day after Christmas (or in this case, the day after the day after Christmas) was always a work day that seemed like a gigantic waste of everyone's time. Half of the office was absent, and the other half clearly wished they were elsewhere. She could count the number of times the phone rang with actual business-related calls on one hand. Mostly Pam answered the phone and transferred a friend or family member, wondering for the umpteenth time why they just couldn't dial the number directly.

It didn't help that she was tired. Although she and Jim had returned home at a good time the previous night, they had spent the following hours doing anything but sleeping. It was as if the memory of their fight from months ago wouldn't quite leave the back of her mind, and she was trying her best to excise it.

She glanced up to see what Jim was doing and caught him yawning behind his hand. He smirked when he realized she was looking at him. He was exhausted as well, but neither was really complaining. Pam just wanted the work day to end as soon as possible.

Almost immediately after their eye contact, Jim stood up and sauntered over to her desk. If Angela has been in that day, she'd have marked it as the fourteenth visit of the day.

“So....” Jim said slowly, sliding his forearms forward across the counter to touch Pam. The fingers on his right hand lightly touched her cheek, then clasped the hand she had placed over his.

“So...” Pam sighed.

“Doing okay?”

Pam rolled her eyes a bit. “Same as the last time you asked.” She gave him a small smile to soften the edge to her voice.

“Yeah, me too,” he nodded. He released her hand and stood up a bit as Kevin walked passed, waving as he left for the day.

Jim glanced at his watch. “Why is Kevin leaving at four?”

Pam shrugged. “Can you blame him?”

“Not at all.”

“Hey,” Pam said, an idea forming.

“What?”

“You're Assistant Regional Manager – why can't we leave now too?”

“I think that's an abuse of power,” he said with a look of mock disapproval.

Pam was unfazed. “So?”

He drummed his fingers on the counter, doing his best not to break into a smile. He shook his head. “I still have some stuff to finish.”

“Liar.”

Jim's brow rose in surprise. “Why would I lie?”

Pam narrowed her eyes, peering at him suspiciously. “I'm not sure, but you are. You haven't done anything all day.”

“Which is why I still have some stuff to finish.”

Pam sighed dramatically and stood up. “Fine,” she said, “I see where your priorities are.”

Jim chuckled as he watched her put the phone to voice mail and step out from behind her desk. “Where are you going?”

“To take a nap in the ladies room for an hour,” she said as she walked away. She could still hear Jim's laughter as the kitchen door shut behind her.

Pam shifted position on the couch for the third time in ten minutes. She couldn't get comfortable because she was bored. She thought about glancing through the magazines but most of them she'd taken to her desk at one point or another, so there wasn't anything she hadn't read already. She knew she would never have taken a nap, but at the time it seemed like the perfect retort to Jim's refusal to leave early.

Truth be told she wanted to go back out front so she could be with him. Or send him flirty messages and emails. Spend the last half hour looking at him in the very least. But Pam knew Jim was just waiting for her to give in and come back, and heaven help her if sometimes the need to best him overtook her common sense, or in the very least what she really wanted. So she sighed and shifted position on the couch again, and contemplating switching over to the chair.

Pam lasted another ten minutes before giving up. She decided she'd have some tea in the kitchen instead, and maybe if she was sneaky Jim wouldn't see her. But when she peered out the window Jim wasn't at his desk. She glanced into the break room, but he wasn't there either. Curious but thirsty, she grabbed a mug and made her tea. He still wasn't at his desk when she discarded the tea bag in the trash, so she sat down at the small table and sipped the hot liquid, half-expecting him to appear at any minute.

Pam found it hard to stay in her seat as she continued to wonder where Jim was. She knew he didn't have any appointments, and Michael had left shortly after lunchtime so he wasn't trapped in his office with him. She thought he must be in the conference room for some reason, and forgetting her plan to stay away for the whole hour, picked up her cup to go join him. She was more than a little startled to find he wasn't there either.

Her brow crinkled in disappointment as she sat back at her desk. It was now just after four-thirty and in the time she'd be away from her desk a few other employees had slipped away for the day. But where did Jim go? She had driven into work so she knew he still had to be around somewhere. She was about to call his cell phone when the office door opened and in walked Jim, his head bowed in what seemed to be a very serious conversation with Parma.

“Hey,” Pam called.

Jim's head snapped up immediately, and Pam thought she saw a flicker of surprise cross his face. Surprise, she thought, or was it guilt?

“I thought you were going to nap for a whole hour,” he said teasingly as he and Parma stopped at her desk.

She ignored his comment. “Where've you been?” She was suddenly feeling cross and she didn't want to think about why.

“Nowhere,” he replied, his answer sounding defensive to Pam's ears.

“Here's your package,” Parma jumped in, handing her the large manila envelope.

“Thanks,” Pam said, her eyes still focused on Jim. “You haven't been at your desk since I went into the kitchen.”

Jim eyebrows raised in confusion. “I didn't know I was being monitored.” This time he really sounded defensive.

“You're not,” Pam replied dismissively. She looked down at the envelope, which felt much lighter than the other ones had. She turned her attention to Parma. “Did you have a nice holiday?”

If Pam's cheerfulness was obviously forced, Parma didn't comment on it. “Oh yeah, you know,” she said softly, “the usual family food fest and interrogation.”

Pam nodded, but it was clear she wasn't really listening.

Parma cleared her throat and took a step backwards toward the door. “Well, I better get going. You guys have fun tonight.” Without waiting for a reply she gave a small wave and left the office.

By the time Pam looked up again, Jim was back at his desk, and clearly not looking in her direction. Pam sat down in her chair still irritated, but this time for a different reason. What had come over her? She never thought of herself as the jealous sort, and certainly if there was one person she didn't have to worry was trying to steal her boyfriend it was Parma. The woman was directly responsible for the two of them finally getting together – what in the hell was she thinking? She kept her eyes on Jim, willing him to look up at her, but he was ignoring her.

She was about to send him an email when she noticed he was still logged into the message board.

pbeesly: I'm sorry.

She focused her gaze on her monitor, but she could tell out of the corner her eye that he hadn't moved. She waited for his response, opening up a new game of FreeCell to keep her distracted. She won one game and lost the next, and he still had not replied.

pbeesly: Are you there?

This time she was only halfway through her next game when he replied.

jhalpert: I am.

pbeesly: I'm sorry I snapped at you.

jhalpert: What in the hell was that all about?

pbeesly: I wish I knew, honestly.

jhalpert: She's your best friend!

pbeesly: I know!

jhalpert: You acted like you just caught us in flagrante delicto.

pbeesly: Impressive vocabulary. ;-)

jhalpert: Pam, I'm serious.

pbeesly: I know. Sorry. You know I don't get jealous – I guess I was just worried that I didn't see you and didn't know where you were.

jhalpert: Where did you think I'd gone?

pbeesly: That's the thing – I had no idea.

jhalpert: Well you better explain that to Parma.

pbeesly: I will. I'll plead temporary insanity.

jhalpert: At the very least.

Pam looked over at Jim to see him shaking his head at her in disbelief. She continued to play FreeCell, trying very hard to push that awkward and silly moment out of her head. She knew Parma would give her a hard time about it, but only because she'd knew Pam could get a little crazy when it came to a certain tall and dorky paper salesman. It took a moment for her to realize she had another message.

jhalpert: So....

pbeesly: So....?

jhalpert: You were jealous of Parma? ;-)

pbeesly: Shut up.

jhalpert: I didn't realize what a tight leash I was on, Beesly.

pbeesly: You're not! I'm just tired.

jhalpert: Right. You know, you told me last week that bump on the back of my neck was some sort of mosquito bite, but now I'm starting to wonder....

pbeesly: What are you talking about?

jhalpert: It's December. Where would I get a mosquito bite?

pbeesly: I don't know! I said it looked like a mosquito bite. It could be anything.

jhalpert: It could be a GPS microchip you had inserted as I slept.

pbeesly: OMG. You found me out.

pbeesly: You're a dork.

jhalpert: I'm not the one acting like Possessive Woman.

pbeesly: Isn't she a superhero?

jhalpert: Yes, she is – and her trademark is the Lasso of Mine!Mine!Mine!(TM)

Pam couldn't help but giggle at his remark, grateful that the tension between them had been broken.

jhalpert: You want to go home now?

pbeesly: Yes, please.

Jim wasn't about to let Pam off easily for her little outburst, and the trip home was filled with jokes of how smothered she was making him feel, and a request for the official list of women he could and couldn't talk to and exactly how close each could stand near him before it was considered 'too close'. By the time she pulled into their driveway Pam wasn't sure if she wanted to kiss him or slug him. Jim took the choice out of her hands when he grabbed her by the waist the moment they walked in the door, kissing her and pulling her back to their bedroom.

“We're going to be late to your parents,” Pam protested weakly.

“That's okay, I plan on blaming you for that.”

“And how it is it my fault exactly?”

“I'll tell them how how you made me prove to you that I'm dedicated only to you and your happiness.”

Pam laughed as they fell back onto their bed. “Made you, huh?”

“Absolutely. You don't think I'd be doing this of my own free will, do you?”

They laid in bed for much longer than they knew they should have, and by the time they dragged themselves out of bed and back into their clothes it was clear that they really were going to be late to dinner. Still, neither of them could manage to feel the slightest bit guilty.

“So what were you and Parma talking about?” Pam asked as she zipped up her skirt and looked around for her shoes.

“Nothing important,” Jim replied, slipping his black sweater over the white shirt he'd worn to work earlier.

“Nothing important?” Pam's tone was one of clear disbelief. “You looked awfully serious when you walked in.”

Jim shook his head. “Not really. She was talking about the New Year's Eve party. Did you tell me it was a charity event?”

“I'm not sure I knew it was,” Pam confessed, pulling her unruly hair back into a neat ponytail. “What charity?”

“I don't remember,” Jim mumbled, following Pam out into the kitchen. “Something for children?”

Pam stopped when she spotted the package Parma had given her earlier. She hadn't opened it at the office because she was too concerned with smoothing things over with Jim, but now that she saw it, she really wanted to open it. She glanced at her watch, then gave a hopeful look to Jim.

“Hey, can I open this before we leave?” She asked picking up the envelope.

“Pam, we're already late,” Jim complained.

She gave the envelope a good shake. “I don't think there's much in there today. It will only take a minute.” She gave him her best pleading look. “Please?”

Jim hesitated. “I have to put the gifts in the car,” he finally said. “You can read it while I do that, but then we have to leave.”

Pam had broken the seal on the envelope before Jim had even finished his sentence. She sat down at the small table and spilled the contents out in front of her. As she had suspected there was very little inside. The ivory envelope was there of course, but the only other item was a folded map. She smiled broadly as she opened it up: Promised Land State Park. Now that was a weekend she wouldn't soon forget. Knowing Jim would soon be rushing her out the door, she opened the letter.

My dear Pam,

Hey, after all these letters I thought I'd shake things up a little and change the salutation. I was going to go with 'Hey Hotstuff' – but I'm thinking I might save that for next month.

I hope yesterday's letter about our big moving fight went over okay. It's kinda hard writing these things out like this, so many days in advance - not knowing if I've said the wrong thing. I wanted to let you know that I try very hard not to make assumptions about things so we don't have another fight like that again.

I mean, I'm far from perfect, but you have to believe me when I'm saying I'm trying!

Well – that brings us to August, doesn't it?

I'd be lying if I said I knew what to say about that month. Not because I don't remember it – but more because I do. I completely and totally remember. I'm just not quite sure what to say about it.

Hmm....well, you moved in during the first week of the month, even though you had to pay rent on your old place for August anyway. Even though we already spent nearly all our time together, it did feel kinda weird at first. Weird in a good way, I mean! Weird in that it was beginning to sink in that after all we'd been through we'd finally reached this stage. I'm know you'll understand when I say I can remember a time when I thought something like that was beyond impossible. I know I probably say it too much, but sometimes it still amazes me that we got this lucky. We certainly seemed to try hard enough to prevent it happening!

Yeah, this package will be light on the souvenirs – because where did we go? Right, nowhere. First we were spending all our time moving your things over (and getting rid of stuff), then it was like we just lost all interest in the outside world.

Not that I minded – far from it! But it was quite a switch from our earlier days of trying every restaurant in a fifty mile radius and catching a new movie each weekend. Maybe we'd reached some sort of unspoken milestone where we were at a new comfort level with each other, maybe we were both a bit sensitive to the lingering doubts over the previous month's fight. I don't know – I'm not a pop psychologist. I just know there was a definite shift.

I can imagine you sitting somewhere reading this letter, and grinning inanely at my rambling. You know what I'm talking about, I know you do – and you are wondering just how much I'm going to say. What can I say? Part of me is aware of the possibility of this letter one day falling into someone's hands, and I really would rather not have anyone else read about our most private moments, you know? Even if I happen to be long dead when it happens. But on the other hand...

I have to admit you surprised me, Pam. It's not as if I had any complaints in that department to start with. But I don't know – it was like the moon was full all month or something! What I do know was how we sort of fell into this routine where as the work day wound down, you seemed fixated on winding me up. I should have known you were up to something when you suggested we set up secondary email accounts so we could talk without worrying that anyone at Dunder Mifflin was reading in. You certainly have a way with descriptions, I'll give you that. And if it was your mission to keep distracting me (and I think we both know the answer to that question!) you succeeded every time – though I'm sure that's not news to you. Looking back I guess I should have been surprised it took us until August to christen the office. But while it may have taken a few months to get around to it, you definitely made sure we made the most of it. I still have difficulty sitting in the conference room without thinking about those nights.

Of course I can't end this letter without mentioning our weekend at Promised Land. I thought we were heading for another argument when I first suggested it – you turned down the idea so strongly. I knew how much you had come to hate camping thanks to someone I'll leave unnamed. But I really thought it would be fun, and if we're being honest here, a weekend alone with you in the woods with nothing but a fire and tent had occasionally featured in my fantasies when we were apart. Okay, more than occasionally But the reality was even better.

I wish I had taken a picture of your face when we first arrived at our site. Site 123 – I had purposely chosen it because it was the only site without people right next to you on either side. I'm not sure what you were expecting – you did know we were bringing a tent, after all – but your expression of “What the hell is this?” both amused and worried me. But once we got the tent up, you soon realized just how cozy a secluded place in the woods could be.

I wonder if the people who were nearby even knew we were there – or if they thought the campsite was deserted. It's not like we ever interacted with anyone else during our stay. Well, except for Saturday night. I still don't know how I let you convince me skinny-dipping was a good idea. I couldn't even blame alcohol for that decision. We're just fortunate it was so dark, and that we found that canoe. Now that was a new experience for both of us.

I don't mean to imply that August was some super-charged month that we've never seen the likes of again. That's not true. But something changed, albeit slightly, and whether it was the hot weather or the moving in together or the ghosts of our big fight, it was a hell of a month. I felt like we became even closer in many ways. You showed me an adventurous side I hadn't expected, but more than enjoyed. And of course it wasn't all physical. It never is with us, is it? August was month that reminded me yet again how much I need you. How much I couldn't bear to not have you in my life. You're my guiding star, for as silly and cliched as it sounds. You are everything I could ever want, and I'm looking forward to many more months like that to come.

Love,

Jim

The sound of the front door slamming make Pam jump. She turned around to see Jim looking apologetic.

“Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. The wind sort of shut the door for me.”

Pam stood up, folding the letter back into the envelope. She was full of thoughts from August, and really wasn't listening very closely. “That's fine,” she murmurred, “I was just finishing up here.”

“Are you okay?” Jim looked both amused and concerned.

Pam tried to clear her mind, and smiled. “Yeah, I'm fine. Are we ready to go then?”

“Yep, just a bathroom stop and I'm good to go.”

“Great, I'll get my coat and head out.”

As Jim walked passed her on his way down the hall, Pam reached out and grasped his wrist. He turned back, a question forming on his lips. He soon found Pam's lips covering his, and whatever he was about to say was long forgotten.

When she finally pulled back he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Are you sure you're okay?” He asked again.

“Yeah,” she smiled, “I'm more than okay.”

She waited until he had closed the bathroom door and turned back to the envelope. She certainly wasn't going to step out the door until she saw what the charm was. Given the nature of the letter, she really had no idea what charm he would have chosen to represent the month. She almost giggled aloud at the possibilities that crossed her mind. A bed? Miniature handcuffs? A tent? A canoe? The ideas became more and more outrageous as she peeled off the red and white striped paper. When the charm was finally revealed, she was more than a little surprised. It was a silver compass charm, with a directional arrow that actually moved.

She quickly exchanged yesterday's keys for today's charm before he could come back. He had called her his guiding star. She knew he was exactly the same to her.