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Chapter 8: The Morning After
When Jim saw Pam starting to stir on the couch he went into the kitchen and got her a cup of coffee. When he came back in and sat down in front of her she had sat all the way up and was leaning against the back of the couch.
Pam looked from the coffee to Jim and he nodded at it, asking her to take it. She did so and lifted the cup from the table and brought it to her lips. She wondered how early it was but looking at Jim she could tell it was late. All too late. The coffee and its sickly strong smell stung her nostrils and felt like molasses dripping down her throat, but it felt better than the bile she had tasted the night before. She looked down and realized she was still in her dress from the gallery and for some reason she was worried about the wrinkles in it. Wrinkles were so easy to make and sometimes were easy to get out, but there were some that no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t get rid of. She was afraid that this dress would be one of them, one of the many wrinkles in her clothes that wouldn’t leave, especially since the memories stayed in the creases and refused to depart.
As she was putting the cup back down she saw them. Her keys were on the coffee table and she knew he had found them; knew he wanted her to know he’d found them.
“Jim…” she started but then stopped. Her voice was quivering and it sounded unfamiliar to her.
Jim didn’t seem to notice and he picked up where she stopped talking. “Found your keys.”
It was a simple statement and it took her by surprise. She just looked at him and then looked down at her wrinkled dress.
“You know if we would have been playing an Easter egg hunt you would have done really well.” He said and sat down in the chair across from her.
“Jim I-I never—”
He just shook his head at her. She never meant to do anything and that’s what killed him. Maybe if she did some things she meant to do she’d be happier.
“I asked you where your keys were Pam.”
Now it was her turn to shake her head. He hadn’t asked her for anything. She had felt him look for her keys, but looking and asking were completely different. “I was drunk Jim.”
He nodded. He wondered if she used this excuse all the time when she woke up with a headache and fuzzy thoughts of the previous night. She’d been drunk the night she’d kissed him at the Dundies and he wondered if that was just a routine of hers that she’d gotten so used to.
“And sooner or later Pam that excuse is just gonna stop working.”
“It’s not an excuse.” She had to be careful. She was starting to be fooled by her own masquerade.
He shook his head and stood making his way over to the couch. He wondered if he should get the dictionary before he sat down again to make sure she knew what ‘excuse’ meant.
“What if Roy would have been home Pam and you didn’t come home?”
She rolled her eyes and leaned foreword to reach for her shoes. She had too much of a headache and not enough coffee in her to listen to him right now.
“Do you know how fast he would have come over here to kick my ass and not give a second thought about it?”
She strapped her shoes and straightened her dress. “Roy’s not even home Jim, he comes back Monday! And in case you’ve forgotten this has nothing to do with Roy!”
“You know what you’re right!” he was practically screaming now. But for some reason when he was around her all he felt like doing was screaming. It wasn’t her fault really, when she was near him his blood felt like boiling. “But it has everything to do with you!”
Pam was staring at him and it made him feel like he’d gotten to her somehow. Like he had hit a nerve that made her understand and see a bit more clearly.
“So this is all my fault.” She said sarcastically and picked up her shawl and purse from the ground.
He shook his head and sighed. “No, not all of it. Hiding your keys because you got wasted at an art gallery was your fault.”
“It’s so like you to make a joke out of everything Jim.” She threw the shawl around her shoulders and as she grabbed her keys to head out the door he grabbed her arm gently and spun her around.
She hadn’t realized how close she was until he had done so. If they were any closer, their pelvises would be touching, along with their chests and heads. Any closer they’d be one person.
“Ok wait a second.” He said. “What if I told you…hypothetically speaking, that the reason I make so many jokes, especially when they shouldn’t be said, is just a cover up for the fact that I have no idea what to say in a serious situation.”
And it was true. His tongue always seemed to tie up when something important came up, until his brain devised a clever joke to fill in instead.
She shook her head and wished he’d let go of her arm, or at least squeeze it harder so she’d lost the feeling.
“I’d tell you grow up.” She said harshly. It came out crueler than she had intended and that’s when she realized she hadn’t meant to say that at all to him.
What if she told him…hypothetically speaking, that the reason she hid behind Roy was because she really did love Jim and when she realized that sometimes she didn’t know what to do. And knowing that Roy was strong and was a perfect excuse to hide behind, she did.
He nodded and let go of her arm, maybe it really was time to grow up and stop thinking of this fairytale romance with her. Jim noticed now that when he had turned her around to face him her shawl had fallen from her shoulder and he grazed her skin as he slid the soft fabric back up to cover her. He then let his hand sit there to pull her closer to him and he left the smallest kiss on her cheek.
Pam felt his lips linger on her for a few seconds. And as the seconds started to feel like hours she felt her blood rise to where his lips had been. It was almost as if he’d left a gash and now her blood was rushing to the surface and leaving the wound, draining her.
Pam shakily exhaled as he pulled back from her. With every fiber of her being she wanted him to lean closer again because then he wouldn’t be so far away and she wouldn’t feel bad about reaching out to kiss him. But as she looked into his eyes and his hand remained on her shoulder she realized that he wasn’t that far away.
But before Pam had any say in the matter of what she wanted to do with her lips, Jim’s were already on hers. And it was different than anything she had ever felt. It wasn’t rough, needy or sadistic and she pushed herself farther into his grasp and his arms came to be around her waist. She pulled on the t-shirt he had worn to sleep and she felt him push the shawl from her shoulders.
But she wasn’t cold, not even for a second.
Author's Chapter Notes:
thank you for the recent comments!
especially dundermifflinthisisdani, impish1, Stablergirl, flonkertonxx ,kaystar , just-once, dancer288, Jamgela ,Sunshinegirl ,Daoust.
if i missed anyone i'm sorry i only went back so far, but thank you too!
sorry this chapter is short, i'm fighting writers block.
especially dundermifflinthisisdani, impish1, Stablergirl, flonkertonxx ,kaystar , just-once, dancer288, Jamgela ,Sunshinegirl ,Daoust.
if i missed anyone i'm sorry i only went back so far, but thank you too!
sorry this chapter is short, i'm fighting writers block.
Chapter End Notes:
Reviewing is nice, in case you haven't caught on.* :DDDD* lol
