Chapter Three “Dessert”

Within minutes the table was clear and by the time Pam returned, dessert and coffee had been served.  Dessert consisted of a chocolate cake with vanilla frosting, topped with strawberries.

She found Jim sitting by the fireplace talking with Oscar, Andy and Kevin.  As she approached she overheard Oscar say something about looking at houses in Carbondale.

“Who’s looking at houses?” Pam asked as she sat on the arm of the chair, next to Jim.  She waited for an answer but was instead met with an uncomfortable silence from all four men. 

“Oh...no...umm,” Jim stammered, “we were just talking about houses and condos in general, you know...now that we’ve seen Michael’s.”  Almost in unison Oscar, Kevin and Andy all agreed then, each conveniently took another bite of cake.

Pam gave them all a skeptical look, but was distracted as Jan approached carrying a small plate.

“Here Pam, I don’t believe you’ve had any dessert, yet?” 

“Oh, thank you Jan...this looks yummy.”  She took a small taste and licked her lips, “Mmmmm, that is really good.”  Jim looked at her, genuinely amused.

A soft, grateful smile formed at the corners of Jan’s mouth, “Glad you like it.” 

Pam wondered what was going on with Jan.  She’d seemed so bubbly and enthusiastic when they’d first arrived, but turned sullen after Michael became so upset with Andy over the stupid seating arrangements.  Now, she seemed happy again.  As Jan turned away, Pam reached for her arm, “Excuse me, Jan?”

Jan stopped and looked back.

“Is the offer for a tour still open...I haven’t had a chance to see the whole place yet?”

“Sure, just follow me....Jim, would you like to come, too?”  

Pam shot a glance Jim’s way, pursing her lips and slightly furrowing her brow.  Jim took it as some kind of a signal...not really knowing what, but figuring it had to have something to do with leaving Pam alone with Jan.

“No thanks...I’m good.  Besides, I really haven’t had much of a chance to talk with Michael, so you two go right ahead.” 

Pam gently brushed Jim’s arm and flashed a smile as she rose to follow Jan.  It pleased her to know that her boyfriend was definitely a ‘quick take’.

As the women left, the three guys turned back to Jim.

“Boy Jim...that was kind of close.” Kevin said, his eyes shifting back toward Pam and Jan who were just heading up the staircase.

Andy jumped in, “Yeah a bit too close, Big Tuna...if you’re trying to keep it a secret from...you know who!”

Jim rolled his eyes at hearing Andy’s nickname for him...it was one thing to put up with it in the office, he’d actually kind of gotten used to it...but jeez, outside of work, as well.  Just an added reason to avoid too many of these extracurricular get-togethers. 

“Thanks Andy...I’ll try to be more careful.”  Jim shot a pointed glance in Andy’s direction.

“Well Jim, Andy does have a point...” Oscar leaned in a little closer to Jim, trying to keep everything as quiet as possible, “especially if you haven’t told Pam that you’re looking to buy a house.”

Jim, quickly turned toward Oscar, “Guys, I never said anything about buying a house...I only said I wanted to start looking at houses!” Jim’s voice was firm and crisp as he attempted to set the record straight. 

“Oh...just looking...huh!”  The sly skepticism in Kevin’s voice was evident to all and both Oscar and Andy snickered in response.

“Yes Kevin...I’m just looking!”

“But why look if you’re not going to buy?” Oscar folded his arms, waiting for Jim’s answer. It reminded Jim of the way his dad used to question him when he was a little kid...when he knew his younger son was holding back on the full story about whatever latest bit of trouble he’d gotten himself into.

Oscar had a point.  “Look guys, down the road ...sure.  I mean, I gotta start thinking a little more long range...you know, investments and things like that, right?” 

Kevin raised his brow, “Things like what?”

Jim felt the first small ripples of panic forming in the base of his neck... He knew he’d probably said too much, but damn it...weren’t these guys supposed to be his friends... well maybe not Andy, so much...but Oscar and Kevin?

“Things like...things that I just need to start thinking about, that’s all.”

“Things like....Pam?”  Kevin’s face broke into a wide grin as he nudged both Oscar and Andy.

“Whoa...Tuna!”  Andy punched Jim’s shoulder in that pre-historic way guys do to show their approval.

Jim grimaced as he rubbed the top of his arm, “Look, eventually I need to learn about this stuff, right?  I need to know about what’s involved when you’re looking to invest in a house, right?  I mean I don’t want to live in an apartment, paying rent forever and I’ve got some money saved...so Kev, you and Oscar own your homes...I was just looking for some ideas about getting started....that’s all!”  But, as he spoke Jim couldn’t hold back the growing blush that filled his cheeks.  He knew quite well that it wasn’t about apartments or rent or real estate investments, it really was about a lot more than that...it always had been.

“But what about your dad...or your brother, haven’t you asked them?”  At least Oscar was trying.

‘Yeah, I’ve talked to them about basic stuff like mortgages and insurance and maintenance...but they both live more than two hours from here, so they can’t tell me much about local stuff like where to look, price ranges, schools...you know...stuff like that?”

Andy smirked, “Schools?”

Jim shook his head.  He’d only had the two martinis, why couldn’t he stop digging the hole deeper...maybe it was the wine? “Well Andy, isn’t that important if you’re investing...a good location with good schools?  That’s what I’ve always heard.”

Oscar jumped in, “No, Jim’s absolutely right...that was one reason Gil and I bought in Carbondale...and we’re not planning on having any kids...but it has excellent schools, so we thought it would be a good place to buy...in case we ever decide to sell.”

The mention of Gil, Oscar, and kids brought a snicker from Kevin.

“What...Kevin?”  Oscar asked pointedly, not really looking for an answer.

“Uh...nothing.”  Kevin bit his lip. “Ooooh, there’s Jefferson Heights and Clarks Summit...they have good schools and they’re closer to the office than Carbondale.”

Jim was getting exasperated, but at least he had something.  All he’d really hoped for was some information and a little support for trying to act a bit ‘grown-up’...one out of two wasn’t bad, right?

“Thanks guys...you’ve been a big help.  I think I’m going to find Michael...he and I really haven’t had much of a chance to talk tonight.  So, if you’ll excuse me...I think he’s in the kitchen.” 

As Jim left, Oscar, Kevin and Andy just looked at one another...the look on their faces telling the story...“Was that the real Jim Halpert?”

****

Climbing the stairs, Jan and Pam exchanged small talk about dinner and dessert and the condo’s furnishings.  As they spoke, Jan seemed fine.  She smiled, was pleasant and even animated as she described how frenetic it had been trying to get everything ready before anyone arrived.  She admitted that she’d only just managed to finish vacuuming when the doorbell rang and Kelly and Darryl just let themselves in.  Jan even joked about Kelly’s penchant for slamming down martinis. 

As she led Pam into the master bedroom, Jan enthusiastically pointed out a pair of original prints she’d convinced Michael to hang.  “I think you might find these interesting...I bought these years ago in a small gallery in Soho...when I first got the job in New York.” 

Pam did find them interesting...swirling patterns of muted colors that seemed to evoke for her a sense of ‘melancholy’...maybe for time, lost or missed opportunities...but at the moment, what was more interesting was the fact they were hung over a large, heavy four-poster mahogany bed.  “New bed?” Pam asked.

Jan was obviously surprised at her question, “Er...yes...how did you know?”  

Eyeing the puzzled look on Jan’s face and remembering her accusation about sneaking a peek at Michael’s...er ...thingy at the ‘Fun Run” made Pam realize she may have opened a wound or, at the very least given her the wrong impression.  “Oh...no...it was just that... Michael once said something about a futon or something?” 

Jan sank to the bed with a deep sigh and slowly shook her head back and forth.  She sat quietly, just shaking her head for what seemed the longest time.  Finally, she looked at Pam, “Michael’s futon...do you believe it, I managed to hook up with a 42-year old man who was still sleeping on a damn futon.” 

Pam was not surprised that she didn’t find it that hard to believe.  “Well, at least he got rid of it.”  She was surprised to see Jan deflate so completely, right in front of her.

“It’s in the guest bedroom...you and Jim want to try it out?”

That got Pam’s attention.  “No...that’s okay!”  It came out almost as a whisper.

Pam watched as the color drained from Jan’s face.  “Hey...are you alright...can I get you something...some water maybe?” 

“No...no thanks, I’ll be fine.”

But Pam saw all too readily that things really weren’t fine, that something was definitely bothering Jan.   She sat down on the bed, taking hold of her hand. ”So Jan, what’s going on?  You want to talk about it?”

Pam’s words were soft, soothing and above all, welcomed.  Jan turned, facing Pam...a tear forming at the corner of her eye.  “You know what...I really don’t have anyone to talk to...well, I talk with Michael...but I don’t have anyone I can talk to about Michael!”

Pam gently stroked Jan’s hand, “Family?”

“No...we don’t get along anymore....haven’t for years.”

“Well...you can talk to me.” Pam’s offer was genuine.  Jan was hurting, and even though she really didn’t know her very well, Jan had been one of the only people, other than Jim who’d recognized some potential in her, offering her the design internship.  And even though she hadn’t followed through, the offer had meant a lot, one of those small stepping stones that had helped her realize who she was...and who she might be.

Jan heard the sincerity in Pam’s voice.  She’d always liked Pam....too quiet and reserved for them to have become real buddy, buddy, but she’d always recognized the younger woman’s competence and, as regional sales director had understood early on that without Pam, Michael Scott and the Scranton office would just be a disaster.   Now, she really needed a friend...a woman friend...something she hadn’t allowed herself to do since moving to Scranton...and moving in with Michael.  She thought she could trust her...damn, she had to be able trust someone to help her through this mess.

Jan placed her free hand over Pam’s, “I just think that I may have royally screwed things up with Michael!”  As she said the words, she tried to wipe a small tear from the corner of her eye. 

Seeing the tear, Pam gently squeezed Jan’s hand in support.  “Why...everything seemed okay tonight?”   

Jan raised her eyebrows, “Andy!” 

“Well, yeah....Andy...but that was about switching places with Jim and me...you know Michael, that had nothing to do with you.”

“It had everything to do with me.”  Jan could tell by Pam’s expression that she was confused.  “Michael’s been angry with me for weeks...the seat swapping, that was just Michael taking out his anger on Andy because he’s such an easy target.”

“Why is he angry with you?  He hasn’t said anything at work...at least not to me.” 

“Oh, I don’t expect he’d say anything to anyone.  He thinks he’s showing me how above it all he is...how he can handle this ‘rough patch’ between us.” 

“But what’s it actually about?” It was still murky to Pam.

“You know about the deposition, right?”

Pam nodded.

“Well, it came out that I’d given him a poor review?”

Pam couldn’t help but laugh, “Oh Jan...I’m sorry...really, but it’s just that in some way it’s actually kind of hard to believe that Michael could ever get a good review.”  Pam shrugged her shoulders as she cocked her head in Jan’s direction. “Just sayin’...you know?”

Even Jan couldn’t resist a small laugh.  “So true Pam....so true.  Don’t get me wrong, he’s a good salesman...a damn good salesman in fact....but running a branch, wow.”

“So what happened?” 

“Michael found out at the deposition that I’d recommended he be rolled back to sales.”

“Oh...”  Pam thought a moment, but was still confused, “but he wasn’t rolled back...he’s still the manager.”

“I only made the recommendation a month before I got canned.”

The wheels turned in Pam’s head...it didn’t take long for the light to go on.  “Wow...you recommended that Michael be rolled back while you were dating him?  Jesus...no wonder he’s upset with you.” 

Jan’s head dropped.  “And, he found out I’d read his diary, too,” the words spoken in a near whisper, hinting at a growing desperation.

“A diary, really?”

“Yeah, Michael keeps a diary.” 

Pam thought to herself, “This has turned into one hell of a night!”