.
Winter break was longer than she would have liked. Jim did help to pass the days though. They talked everyday, mostly about random things. Sometimes he would get up early and they would watch the Price is Right together.
“Ten Seventy-nine!”
“Really Jim? You think that toaster cost $10.79?”
“Maybe.”
“When was that last time you went to the store?”
“Yesterday. Splurged on some new socks.”
“Thanks for the update.”
“She was totally robbed!”
She loved these trivial conversations. Her mom walked into the room and gave her that “are you talking to Jim again” look. She felt a little nerdy when she got home. She couldn’t stop talking about Jim to her parents. Secretly though, her mom loved it. She hadn’t seen Pam so enthusiastic about anyone other than Roy in years.
Christmas came and went. She stopped by the Anderson’s to drop off Christmas presents. She silently thanked God when they didn’t bring up Roy. She knew he would be back in a few days. She didn’t know what she was going to do. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to avoid him when he got back. But the question was who would make the effort to see the other first? She knew it would be better if she went to see him first. Then she could set some ground rules. Things were just starting to get good with Jim when she left.
She was still on the phone with Jim when she heard the doorbell ring. She got up off of the couch to get the door. When she opened the door he was standing there. She didn’t expect it. Part of her was overcome with joy. He made it.
“Jim, I have to call you back.”
“Oh OK.”
She dropped the phone to her side and Roy took her into a hug. This was exactly what she didn’t want to happen. After a few seconds he let her go. He went in for a kiss and she turned her head to the side. His face dropped. She felt bad, but she couldn’t let this happen. She ushered him inside and he sat down on the couch. She took a seat across from in her dad’s recliner.
“You look good.”
“Thanks, so do you.”
“It’s really good to see you again. I missed you a lot.”
She knew he wanted her to say it back, but she didn’t. She just sat there in silence.
“Stay here with me. Come back to Scranton. We can get a house.” He knew he was being selfish. But he had spent a whole year away from her and he couldn’t stand the fact that she would be the one leaving this time.
“I can’t.”
Her dad walked in the room and did not expect to see Roy sitting across from his daughter in his living room.
“Roy, good to see you made it back in one piece.” Her dad never liked Roy, but he was always very cordial to him.
Her dad moved into the kitchen and sat down at the table. He opened up the newspaper and began scanning over the headlines. Roy looked up from his hands and back at Pam. He wanted to finish telling her how much he loved her and needed her to be with him, but he was afraid of what her dad might say or do to him.
“I should probably get going. I still have to go see my brother.”
She nodded her head and got up from her seat. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
“Is it okay if I call you later? I think we need to talk about a few things still.” Roy looked over at her dad. He was peeping over the top of the newspaper watching them.
“Yeah, that’s fine.” She closed the door behind him and turned back to her dad.
“So tell me a little bit more about this Jim guy.” She loved her dad; he was never subtle about changing subjects.
It was finally time to go back. Roy never called her. She didn’t mention to Jim what happened that day. On her first night back she and Jim had made plans to watch movies and catch up. He knew that Roy had come back. He remembered she had mentioned that he would be back in December not too long ago.
She was sitting on this leather chair he had brought up over the break. He was laying on his bed. They were watching Forrest Gump.
“Did you see him?”
“See who?”
“Roy.”
“Yeah, he stopped by after he got back.”
“Well what happened?
"Just stopped by to say hi.”
She was holding something back; he could hear it in her voice. Then they were right back where they started. She wasn’t completely over him. If she was, she would have told him about it. She never looked away from the screen. He ended things with Katy when he got back for spring RA training. She took it surprisingly well, or so he thought. She asked if there was someone else and he told her there was. She didn’t ask who, but she suspected it was that office girl he was always with.
Jim had a checklist in his head. He checked off Katy, but now he had to write Roy back in. He wasn’t going to be the rebound. He would wait it out.
He stopped by her room the next day and he wasn’t surprised when he saw that picture still sitting on her desk. He knew that was the indicator. Once she put that picture away she would be free.
Pam didn’t know what was wrong with Jim when she got back. Jim seemed distant. It was like he had forgotten about the night. They never sat next to each other. He made no attempt to touch her. Did she read too much into that night? Maybe he was just a flirty guy and he didn’t expect anything to come of that.
Over the next week things were still very much the same. They still hung out all the time, but only as friends. It was eating her up inside. She wanted to bring up that night, but if she was wrong would it make their friendship awkward? She would rather be friends than nothing at all.
Classes had started again and she was sitting in her room alone on a Friday night. Jim was on duty and every couple of hours he would walk by her room with Dwight in tow. She was studying her text book when her phone rang. She didn’t recognize the number, but it was probably Kelly. She was always losing her phone. In fact, she had lost three phones last semester. She lost two on the bus and had flushed one down the toilet at the library. Pam never found out what Kelly was doing at the library.
“Hello?”
“Pam?” Definitely not Kelly.
“Yeah. Who is this?”
“It’s me, it’s Roy.” He sounded drunk.
“Is everything okay?” She wasn’t worried that anything was actually wrong. Roy was a notorious drunk dialer.
“I’m here, in town.”
“What?”
“I’m at your school. Kenny drove me and dropped me off.”
“Where are you at?” She was already standing up to look for her car keys.
“Univeristy and... I’m by some big building.”
“Don’t move.”
She ran downstairs and bumped into Dwight as she came out of the stairwell. Jim was standing next to him with 4 empty beer bottles in one hand and an empty bottle of cheap vodka. She looked at the empty bottles.
He held up the bottles proudly, “just doing our job.”
She smiled and for a moment she forgot why she was running down the stairs.
“Where are you off to?” he motioned toward her keys.
“I’ll tell you when I get back. Do you think you’ll still be up in a few hours?”
“Yeah, is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll see you in a few hours.” And with that she was already running to her car.
She got in her car and sped off towards Roy. She didn’t see him at first when she pulled onto the street. Then she could see this black mass sitting in the snow. She pulled her car over and got out. When she reached him he was grinning like an idiot.
“Get up!”
“What, no kiss hello?”
“Roy, get up and get in the car.”
He didn’t expect her to be angry. He obediently got up and stumbled towards the car. She helped him in and then she got in on her side.
“Where’s Kenny?”
“I dunno, probably back in Scranton by now.”
“He left you here?”
Roy nodded his head. He now realized that this was a bad idea to come here.
“I just wanted to see you.”
“I don’t know if you know this, but most people call before driving two hours to visit someone.” She didn’t know why she was being so harsh with him. She glanced over at him and she knew she had hurt his feelings. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be mean.”
“Where are we going?”
“To Scranton. I’m taking you home because your brother is an idiot and he left you alone in a city 150 miles away from Scranton.” She merged onto the highway and silently prepared herself for the longest ride of her life.
The first 30 minutes were silent. She was pretty sure Roy had fallen asleep within those first few minutes. She couldn’t drive in this silence anymore, but if she turned on the radio it would wake Roy and then she would have to talk to him. But what was worse, getting bored and then falling asleep at the wheel or talking to Roy until he passed out again? She reached for the volume and turned it up slowly. Roy immediately stirred.
"Where are we at?"
“Outside of Loganton, I think.”
“Sorry about this.”
“It’s okay.”
Roy turned to look out the window. He really screwed this up.
“There’s a water bottle in the back.”
He reached back behind his seat and grabbed the bottle.
“What were you doing before I called?”
“Just studying.”
“On a Friday?”
“Uh huh.”
“Doesn’t sound like you’re having a lot of fun in college?”
“Roy, if you have something to say then just say it.”
“I think you should move back to Scranton.”
“I told you no already. Nothing has changed since I last saw you.”
She gripped the wheel tighter. Falling asleep at the wheel sounded really good right about now.
“Well what has changed since I left?”
“You broke up with me! You told me to go live my life and now that I am you want me stop and go back to the way things were.”
“I just want your life to be with me.”
“Roy, I’m not in love with you anymore.” Did she really say that out loud? Roy didn’t say anything, he just turned and stared out the window. She didn’t want to hurt him, but he needed to know.
.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Roy comes home.
Chapter End Notes:
Next chapter Pam hangs out with Karen
