.
It had been more than a month since they talked. She felt so bad about what had happened between them. But now she was angry. By day five, Pam realized that her anger stemmed from Jim being mad at her. He had a girlfriend that he hadn’t told her about. If anyone should be mad it should have been her. Sure she acted like an idiot, but she apologized for it. It was hard trying to avoid someone that you lived and worked with. Sometimes he would come into the office and get whatever he needed. He would look at her like he wanted to say something or wanted her to say something. Then one day she couldn’t take it anymore. She wanted her friend back.
She was filing paper for Phyllis when he came in. She knew now was the perfect time. He couldn’t yell or storm away without getting a look from Phyllis. It was cowardly, but she didn’t care. He walked passed her and put something in Stanley’s mailbox.
“Hey.”
He wasn’t sure if he imagined that little word. He turned around and she was looking over at him.
“Hey.” It wasn’t angry but it wasn’t exactly happy. He walked out of the office and said, “See you later.”
It wasn’t much, but it was a start. She knew it wasn’t going to be easy. So every time he came in the office she made it a point to say hey and ask about his day. By the beginning of March things were looking up. Sometimes he would say hey first. Sometimes he asked her about her day.
That first time she had spoken to him he stopped himself from going back to how things were. From smiling at that small word. He couldn’t take getting up for another let down. But he could see that she was making an effort. Then he remembered the promise he made her. That he wouldn’t leave her. Essentially he had left her. He abandoned her when things didn’t go the way he wanted. It was childish, but he needed the space. He needed the time to figure out how to be just friends with her.
Their interaction this afternoon began just like any of the other ones.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“How are things?”
“Good.” He was going to leave, but he saw the sadness in her eyes. “What are you doing for dinner?”
“Me?” She looked around to make sure no one was standing off to the side of the office that she couldn’t see.
“Yeah.”
“Nothing.”
“Well, me and Andy are going at 6 if you want to come.”
“Sure.”
“See you at 6 then.”
She was nervous when 6 arrived. She was standing by the office waiting for Jim and Andy. Andy arrived first and she was thankful. She knew that this would be easier if they weren’t left alone for together for too long.
“Parmione!”
“What did you call me?”
“You just remind me of Hermione from Harry Potter. You have cute hair.”
“Thank you,” she hesitantly said. Did saying thank you further encourage this behavior?
“I haven’t seen you around in a while.”
“I’ve been busy with school.”
Jim came out of the stairwell and he gave a little wave. “Ready?”
Andy and Pam nodded and they followed him out the door. In the dining hall they sat at a booth. Pam slid in first and Andy sat across from her. But here was the big moment. Would Jim sit next to her or would he sit next to Andy?
Jim looked at the open spots. He slid in next to Pam. He wanted to prove to himself that he could sit next to her. That he could just be friends with her. Dinner went off without a hitch. There were no awkward moments. It was like they had erased that night. But it was still hanging there in the back of their minds. They were good at pretending that it never happened. Within the next week things went back to normal. They ate dinner and sometimes lunch together, but there was no flirting this time. Just two friends enjoying each others’ company.
It was the week before her birthday when Katy was finally brought up. They had gone on a late night run for food. They were walking back to Jim’s room when they ran into Kevin and Michael.
“What are you two doing up so late?”
“What are you two doing up?”
“We were confiscating paraphenilia from the sttttupid David Brent kid that lives down the hall.” Michael had a real hate for David. Maybe because David was like a younger version of Michael but worse. He did all of the things Michael wished he could do.
“That sounds fun.”
“What are you guys doing?”
“Just eating some food and going to watch a movie.”
A smile spread across Kevin’s face. “Is that what you guys are calling it now?”
Jim thought about pretending that he didn’t know what he was talking about, but the longer this was drawn out the more awkward it would be with Pam. “No Kev. We’re really watching a movie and eating food.”
Pam held up a bag from Wendy’s.
“But I bet you guys will be doing it later though.”
Pam, who remained silent until now, couldn’t take. It was like torture, her thoughts were eating away at her and then she blurted it out. “Didn’t you know that Jim has a girlfriend?”
This seemed to shut up Michael and Kevin. It confused Jim, but it worked. Kevin and Michael could see the irritation in Pam’s eyes. They weren’t the brightest men, but they knew jealousy when they saw it. They turned and walked the other way without a word.
Jim turned back around and opened his door. He sat his keys down on his desk. “They can be really stupid sometimes.” He looked back and Pam was still standing outside. “What’s wrong?”
“Are we not going to talk about this? I mean, I know we’re really good at pretending that things don’t bother us, but I can’t do this anymore. Not about this.”
“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.” He took a few steps toward her.
“KATY, Jim. Your girlfriend, Katy.” She didn’t mean to raise her voice, but she had been holding this in for so long that practically yelling her name was cathartic.
His eyes went big. She didn’t have the story completely right, but he knew he wasn’t going to be able to act as if she hadn’t just brought up Katy. “Who told you that?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“About Katy?” She hated that he tried to play dumb.
“’Cause it was weird and I was ashamed of what I was doing. We were just getting to know each other and I knew you would think I was an asshole for doing that. I thought I was an asshole and I was the one doing it.”
It was then that she realized that she wasn’t talking about the same thing he was talking about.
“So you guys aren’t dating anymore?” She now knew that they weren’t dating, but she wanted him to say it. To make it true.
“We were never dating. It was just...” He couldn’t say it out loud.
“When did you guys stop – you know?” She moved into the room.
“Sometime before break.”
Katy had totally played her. She felt sad for her. That she would have to lie to keep Pam away from Jim.
“Sorry if I sounded angry before. I just want us to be honest with each other.”
“It’s okay. I understand.”
“No more secrets from now on. We’re friends. We’re supposed tell each other things. Even if those things make us look like assholes.”
He smiled. They were okay. No one stormed out of the room. No one yelled, well sort of. They talked it out and everyone was okay. Why didn’t they know how to do this two months ago?
She finally walked all the way into the room and she handed him his food. He wondered if this changed anything between them. Was this the reason she was so upset that morning? He wanted to ask, but he liked how they were right now. If he asked would they go back to that night? If he kissed her would she act weird again? Maybe they just weren’t meant to be anything more than friends. He was going to give it time though. See where things go.
She walked over to the TV and turned it on. She was thinking about Katy. She kind of wanted to confront her, but she didn’t have the guts to do it. She sat down on his chair and looked at him. She knew that when she shot him down it hurt him more than she previously thought. She had painted herself as the victim in her mind and that couldn’t be farther from the truth now. She wanted to kiss him and apologize. She wanted to go back to that night and wake up in the morning and not pull away, but she was going to have to give him time.
.
Author's Chapter Notes:
The aftermath of their kiss.
Chapter End Notes:
Next chapter Pam celebrates the big 2-0. Thank you guys for all of the reviews. Thank you to elly for editing.
