.
Two weeks later Jim had come to see Pam. There wasn’t really a whole lot she wanted to show him in Scranton. She showed him her high school and they drove by the Houdini Museum. Nothing had a special meaning for her here. They parked the car to walk around downtown. She really didn’t care where they were, just as long as she was spending time with him. They had to leave the house because Pam’s dad was bogarting all of Jim’s time. It was nice that they got along, but she hadn’t seen him in two weeks.
She held his hand tightly as they walked in front of store windows. Sometimes they would go in, but mostly they would just walk on by.
“How do you like the electric city?”
“It’s growing on me.”
“Let’s go somewhere else.” She said pulling him towards the car.
“Where do you want go?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Can we go back to your house? Maybe you can give me a tour of your bedroom.”
“Yeah, I’m sure my dad would love that.”
“I really do want to see where you sleep though.” He smirked.
“I’m sure you do.”
They continued driving back and forth every two weeks. Although Jim enjoyed spending time with Pam in Scranton, he always looked forward to the weekend more when she was coming up to his house. The days spent in Scranton were spent getting to know each other better, just talking. The days spent in Philadelphia were spent getting to know each other physically and he could never get enough of that.
It was the beginning of July. Her mom had just brought in the mail. She handed Pam an envelope. She read the return address. She wasn’t expecting anything from them. She tore the envelope open. The letter was to inform her that a space had recently become available for the study abroad program in Rome. If she was still interested in going she would have to get back to them by the end of the week. She was speechless. She was going to go to Rome! She wanted to pick up the phone and tell Jim the good news, but then would it be good news for Jim? When she applied they weren’t even talking. She never imagined that she might not want to go because she would be dating Jim.
“What did you get?”
She handed the letter over to her mom. “Oh Pam, this is so great.”
Pam didn’t say anything back. She could see that she wasn’t exactly happy about it.
“You’ll figure it out.”
She decided that she would wait to tell Jim when she went to see him on the 4th. She figured nothing said ‘Happy 4th of July’ like ‘I might be leaving to Rome for a semester.’
He could tell that something was wrong when she got there. She wasn’t as talkative or playful with him. When he was kissed her he could tell that she was thinking about something else. They were sitting on his porch and she was staring up at the sky even though the fireworks hadn’t started yet.
“You okay?”
“Huh?” She snapped out of her daze.
“You seem distracted.”
Her face dropped. “I have some bad news.”
He waited for her to continue.
“I got a letter the other day, and I got accepted to study abroad during the fall semester in Rome.”
“Pam, that’s amazing!” He could tell from the look on her face that she didn’t think it was amazing. “Why aren’t you happy about this?”
“We just started dating and I don’t want to leave you. It would be four months apart. We haven’t even been together that long.”
He scooted closer to her. “This is seriously an amazing opportunity. Go. I’ll wait. I waited most of last year just to kiss you once. I think can I wait four months for you when I know that you’re coming back to me.”
“I don’t know.”
“If you don’t do it, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”
He didn’t really want her to go, but he knew that it would be good for her. He could sacrifice four months of holding her if it meant that she would finally take a chance on something. She needed to be pushed outside her comfort zone.
He leaned his shoulder against her side. She pushed back. She knew deep down that he would say this, but part of her wanted him to ask her to stay. There was no risk in staying, staying was comfortable.
“When do you leave?”
“August 10th.”
“Do you think we could switch to seeing each other every week instead of every other week?”
She pushed harder against him. “I don’t know. What if I get tired of you?”
“If anyone is going to get tired of anyone first, it’s going to be me getting tired of you.”
She kissed his jaw and he knew that he could never get tired of this. She had stopped pushing against him and she was just leaning on him now. “Do you really think we can do this?”
“Absolutely.”
She believed him. If he said that it would work she knew it would.
“So, can I convince you to stay the night?”
“Maybe.”
“I promise I’ll be the perfect gentleman. I’ll take the couch.”
Later that night he did take the couch. It was weird to sleep in the same room with him and not have him next to her. She got up when the house got quiet and she crept over to the couch.
“Jim.” She whispered.
“What’s the matter?” He said sleepily.
“Scoot over.”
She couldn’t tell in the dark, but he was smiling. He turned on his side to give her room.
“This is stupid. Why don’t we just sleep in the bed?”
She cuddled up next to him. “Because you promised your dad that you would sleep on the couch.”
“...And I never said that I would do it alone. I love the way you think.”
He laid there with her body so close to his. His hands grazed over her skin, just trying to memorize every part of her body. He wasn’t kissing her, he was just breathing steadily on her neck. She felt like she might die. Over the next month she always looked forward to her visits to Philadelphia more than Scranton too. Each time he took it a little farther, but never too far.
On her last week he took her out to dinner and then they went back to his house. They were sitting downstairs in front of his TV. He saw that she was cold and he grabbed an extra blanket from his closet. She loved how attentive he was. And that’s when she decided that she was going to sleep with him. It was amazing how fast her nerves kicked in. She couldn’t believe how nervous she was. She wasn’t even this nervous the first time with Roy.
He was standing in front of the TV holding a stack of DVDs. “I got a few movies for this special occasion. Just your classic ‘girl goes to Rome and falls in love’ stories. Don’t go to Rome and fall in love though.”
She gave him a mischievous smile. Jim handed her the movies. Gidget Goes to Rome, Roman Holiday, and... “The Lizzie McGuire Movie?”
“What? It’s a movie about a girl that goes to Rome and falls in love. It clearly fits the category.”
They watched Roman Holiday first. Really though, he watched it while she sat next to him trying to find the right moment to make her move. She kept biting her bottom lip and he could see it out of the corner of her eye. He got up to put the next movie in. She knew that it was now or never. He sat back down and she moved closer. She got up on her knees and began kissing his neck. He could feel her body shaking against him. She had her hands balled up into fist at her side.
“You nervous about something? About leaving?”
“No.” She didn’t know why this was so hard. She pulled her shirt over her head and dropped it to the floor. She started kissing him and she was tugging at his shirt. He could feel her hands shaking against his chest. He reached up and took her hands in his. She relaxed a little. She pulled his shirt off. He could feel the shaking again. He didn’t want to, but he slowly pulled away. He knew that right now wasn’t the right time. He kissed her on her temple and sat back against his headboard.
She sat there kind of confused. He reached a hand out and pulled her next to him. “You don’t want to?” She sounded let down.
“I do, believe me I do. I just—I think we should wait till we’re both ready.” He kissed her again on the temple. “Thank you though.”
Then all of these thoughts flew threw her head. Was she really not ready? She had definitely thought about having sex with Jim, but she never imagined that she would be so nervous. Was that her body’s way of telling her ‘not yet’?
She reached for her shirt. She felt awkward now. He watched her sitting there having this inner monologue. She slid it over her head and he stopped her.
She looked back at him. “Do you want to now?”
He shook his head, but he pulled her into a kiss anyways. She wasn’t shaking this time; he knew it was because there were no expectations anymore. When she pulled away she was breathless. How did he do that to her?
He reached over and moved a strand of hair that was hanging in front her eye. “Sorry about before. I just wanted to do that before I left.”
“Don’t be sorry. Seeing you in your bra is present enough.” He was only kind of joking about that last part. “I don’t know about you, but I’m tired.”
“Yeah,” She stood up and pulled her jeans down. She was standing in her underwear in front of him.
“You’re—um wow.”
She reached across the bed and grabbed his t-shirt that she pulled off of him and put it over her head. She walked over to her bag and pulled out a pair of shorts.
Jim sighed loudly. “I thought you were going to sleep in those for a second.”
He thought maybe she was slowly torturing him for stopping her earlier. But it wasn’t anything new. She had slept in one of his t-shirts before. He just felt like the pause between undressing and putting the shirt on was longer and more drawn out. He couldn’t be sure though, because normally he wouldn’t stare at her while she did it.
He got up and changed into some sweat pants. He walked back over to the bed and turned off his lamp. When he was finally lying down she put one of her legs over his. She laid her palm flat against his bare chest. He knew it, she was torturing him. This low humming noise came from her mouth.
‘Jesus Pam,’ he thought. He told himself that he could fight through this. He was in control, not the urges. He closed his eyes tightly and prayed for sleep to come.
Saying goodbye in the morning was harder than she thought it would be. She really wanted to just say never mind and stay. She spent her remaining days with her family and double checking that she wasn’t forgetting anything.
When they arrived at the airport it finally hit her. The excitement. She was really going to Rome.
.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Pam's news...
Chapter End Notes:
Next chapter Pam moves into her room, makes a new friend and Jim goes back to school.
