.
That was it; she walked out of the lecture hall and just left him there. His notes were pure gibberish. On the walk home he actually walked straight past Dunder Hall and straight to his car. Three hours later he was sitting in front of his house trying to figure out how to explain to his parents why he was at home and why he didn’t bring anything with him. Talk about running away from your problems.
He thought that if he walked in and acted as casual as possible no one would ask him anything. It’s not like he never came home to visit. Freshman year he would come home all the time during a weekend without so much as a call before.
He barely had a foot in the door before his actions were being called into question.
“Hey honey. Is everything okay?” His mom called from the kitchen.
“Yeah, I just haven’t been home in a while and I’m free this weekend.”
“I was just about to start laundry so you can throw your stuff in with ours.”
“I actually didn’t bring my laundry.”
His mom put down the plate that she was washing and walked over to him. She put the back of her hand against his forehead. “Hmmph.”
“What?” He said pulling back.
“You don’t have a fever, so you’re not sick.”
“Why would I be sick?”
“I’ve just never heard either one of my children turn down getting their laundry done. Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m fine. Just needed a break from school.”
“Okay, but your dad’s going to be home in an hour and you’re going to need to have a better excuse than that before he gets here, and your brother Jon is bringing his girlfriend over for dinner later. He says this one’s the one.”
“That last four were the one.”
“Well, we can’t all find a Pam on the first try.”
He gave a tight lipped grin.
“Ah, you and Pam had a fight. Come here.” She said putting her arms out to take him into a hug. “The first fight is always the hardest.”
The first fight was the easy one. This fight was so beyond the first one that he wouldn’t even put them in the same category.
“I’m going to go downstairs. Let me know when Jon gets here.”
“Actually, could you go shovel the driveway for me?”
“I’ve been home for five minutes and I’m already being put to work.”
“You should have thought about that before you came home.”
Shoveling was probably for the best. His room downstairs was filled with thoughts of Pam. The sleepovers, the kisses, the first time they almost had sex. His life was completely contaminated with memories of Pam.
He took out a lot of anger while flinging the snow onto the snow covered lawn. He didn’t even know that he was that angry. Irritated, yes. Annoyed, yes. But not angry. He wasn’t angry at Pam, just confused by her actions, or the lack of actions. He was just angry at himself, for handling the situation completely wrong. For speaking without thinking, for trying to coax feelings out of her instead of giving her space. It wasn’t that he didn’t know what he did wrong, he did. He just didn’t know how to fix it. Where to start? Because every time he started he was overcome by the need to fix her instead of them and that only made her angry and distant.
Jim picked up some more snow and threw it hard at the tree.
“What did that tree ever do to you?”
“Hey dad.”
“I didn’t know you were going to be here. Came to meet the future Mrs. Jon Halpert?”
“Yeah, you know me, I’m a sucker for Jon’s meet the parents dates.”
“You and Nammy both.”
This is why he came home, because while his mom pried his dad just made normal conversation.
“Are you done?” His dad asked looking at the shovel.
“Does it look like I am? Because if you say so I’m done and I’ll tell mom you said so.”
“Hey, we both know Jon is just going to walk straight though the grass anyways. Come inside.” He said putting an arm around his son. “So how’s Pam?”
“Fine, she’s fine.”
“What’s she doing this weekend?”
“I don’t know. Homework probably.”
“Are you going to spend all weekend on the phone with her?”
The normal conversation was suddenly turning to the one subject he wanted to take a break from thinking about.
“I’m going to go see if mom needs help in the kitchen.”
“Fight, huh?”
“I think I just heard Jon drive up. Why don’t you go bother him about his girlfriend?”
How did he get so blessed with the most insensitive family in the world? They lived to make him uncomfortable. He thought about hopping back in the car and leaving, because he suddenly realized that his brother wasn’t going to give him any slack.
But when his brother walked in the door with his girlfriend he knew that all focus would definitely be off him and on his brother’s girlfriend. She was tall, blonde, and gorgeous. Did he say tall? The only problem was that her tallness was only more apparent with the barely there skirt she had on. She was more leg than anything else. He wondered if she knew there was a foot of snow on the ground when she got dressed this morning.
“Mom, dad.... Jim? What are you doing here?”
“Just came to visit.”
“Good to see you. Everyone this is Kim.”
Jim knew that it took every ounce of strength that his mom had to not offer the girl a towel to cover up with and his mom was in no way a conservative lady, the girl just looked really cold.
Dinner was awkward, very awkward. Jim’s grandma couldn’t remember Kim’s name and kept calling her Jill and in return Kim would correct her in a loud voice, like memory was somehow connected to the loudness in your voice. Or maybe she just thought Nammy was deaf. Either way Jim didn’t care, because not once did anyone bring up his problem.
After dinner Jim offered to clean up, just to give himself some more alone time, but his dad offered to help too, probably to get out of the after dinner talk with Jon and Kim.
“So what’s going on with you and Pam?”
“Nothing.”
“What are you fighting about?” He asked while taking a plate from Jim’s hand to dry it.
“It’s kind of personal.”
“Too personal to tell your dad?”
Jim nodded and handed him another plate.
“Sex?”
“Come on dad.” Jim sighed.
“You can tell me. I won’t judge, won’t yell. Well I might yell, but you know that already.”
He washed a few more things before starting. “We had an accident,” he said quietly.
“What kind of accident? Like you slipped and fell in the shower, accident?”
Jim tilted his head to the side in annoyance.
“Sorry, no more jokes. So Pam is mad about the accident, and that is completely understandable. The first time your mom and I had a pregnancy scare she didn’t talk to me for a week!”
“She’s not really mad about it. I’m actually madder about it than she is.”
“Mad because you wanted a baby or didn’t want a baby? I support you, but you know that I think you should wait till you graduate before you start thinking about babies.”
“No, I’m mad because she doesn’t want to talk about it. She’s acting like it’s no big deal and that scares the shit out of me. What if she isn’t the girl I thought she was? What if she’s like this when we get married and have kids?”
Jim’s dad cracked a smile.
“I’m sorry, but nothing in that sentence was remotely funny.”
Jim’s dad nodded his head and continued to smile.
“When you get married... just weird to hear one of my kids say that.”
“Well I won’t be marrying Pam if she never talks to me again.”
“Give her some space. Not all things need to be discussed. Just understand that if she needs to talk about something she will, and apologize to her.”
“I have.”
“Really apologize, don’t just say you’re sorry.”
“What if she doesn’t accept it?”
“Then give her some time. If you guys are really in love it’ll work itself out. Now stop moping around and go give your brother shit about his taste in women.”
Jim stayed until Sunday. He thought two days would be long enough for Pam to cool down from Friday. When he got back he went to her room immediately, but she wasn’t there or she just wasn’t answering. It was 11am on a Sunday and other than eating breakfast he couldn’t figure out where she would be.
So he pulled out his phone and text Pam.
I’m sorry. Can we please talk?
After an hour he figured that she was still mad and like his dad said, she needed some space.
Pam was sitting next to Angela in church, trying her best to pay attention. Pam was never a church person though. There were just too many people in strange over the top outfits to not look around the church instead of listening.
“Pam!” Angela would whisper yell while hitting Pam in the ribs.
“Angela, did you see that lady’s hat? I think those are real peacock feathers.”
“Those aren’t real.”
“Shhh...” The little lady next to them interrupted.
“God is a just judge, and God is angry with the wicked everyday.” Angela read along with the priest. “That’s you; you’re the wicked he’s speaking about.”
Pam was again looking several rows over at some boy throwing a fit.
“It would have been better if you stayed home sinning by yourself instead of making a mockery of God by not paying attention to the sermon.”
“I’m paying attention. I get it, God is a judge. I’m wicked. You’re wicked!” Pam gave Angela a sly smile before looking down at the bible clutched in her hand.
Pam felt her phone buzz in her pocket, but she knew pulling out her cell phone would really send Angela over the edge.
Jim was getting more anxious with ever minute that he didn’t hear back from Pam. Eventually he couldn’t take it anymore and he headed down to Dwight’s room. If he told himself freshman year that he would willingly hang out with Dwight in the future he would have laughed in his own face.
The closer he got to the room the louder it got. He knew what was going on; it was a Sunday videogame tournament. Michael was sitting on the floor yelling fake words at the guys two doors down from them, while Dwight Zen-fully killed someone. Ryan kept throwing his controller down on the bed whenever he got shot.
Jim stood in the door for a few minutes waiting for the round to end.
“Jimbo!” Michael yelled, but never moved his eyes off of the TV. “Sit down. Take Ryan’s spot. He’s playing like a girl.”
“That’s okay. I think I’ll just watch.”
“Why do you sound so glum?”
“What?”
“I don’t know. You just sound different.”
“You do sound different,” Ryan added.
“Do you need some advice?” Michael took a second to look Jim in the face.
“From you? No, I think I can manage on my own.”
“Just agree with whatever Pam says.”
“You don’t even know what you’re giving me advice for.”
“It’s girl issues. It always is. Am I right?”
Jim wasn’t going to take advice from Michael, but he wasn’t going to stop him either because sometimes it was just interesting to see the world through Michael Scott’s eyes.
“Girls are simple creatures, especially the hot ones. All you have to do is think the way they think and you’ll never have any problems.”
“So you’re saying that you think of all the things Jan thinks about?”
He nodded.
“Everything?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m going to need an example.”
“I got one. Ryan is hot.”
Ryan shifted uncomfortably on the bed.
“How is that an example?”
“That’s what girls think about, Jim.”
“About Ryan?” He raised an eyebrow.
“No, they think about guys.”
“Okay, let me get this straight. In order to not fight with Jan you think about the things you think she would think about, and that includes thinking about guys all day.”
“Right.”
“I’m not even going to touch that one.”
“That’s what she said,” Michael laughed alone.
Jim felt his phone buzz. Pam had finally written back.
I just got back. I’ll meet you at your room.
.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Jim gets some quality advice from his dad.
Chapter End Notes:
Next chapter is the reconciliation chapter. I would have written it all in one, but I was just in too good of a mood to write sad stuff. Thank you to Elly for being an awesome beta.
