.
Climbing the stairs he could feel his heart beat in his head. This was really the make or break moment. She actually wrote back so that was a plus, but she did wait an hour before answering—minus.
She was leaning against his door, and she didn’t look away when she saw him, but she also didn’t smile. She moved away from the door as he opened it, maybe she didn’t want to get too close, give him false hope.
When they were inside she leaned against the desk and he sat on the bed. Clearly she was keeping her space; he really thought she was going to end it for good.
“I’m still really mad at you. I tried not being mad at you, but I am. I can’t help it.”
“I understand and I’m sorry, for everything,” Jim said.
She looked down at her hand and spun the ring.
‘Please don’t let her take it off,’ he silently begged.
“We handled this whole situation really badly. Both of us.”
“I was a huge idiot and I said a lot of things I shouldn’t have. I was just worried. You weren’t giving me the slightest hint about how you felt, so I just assumed you didn’t care.”
She looked up and tears were slowly filling her eyes. He ran up to her like he could stop them from falling by just holding her. He put his hands on her face because he fully intended to catch every single tear.
“I love you and I’m sorry for pushing you and if you never want to talk about this we won’t, and if you want to remind me about how stupid I was everyday of our lives then you can.”
“Stop,” she whispered as she leaned into him.
He held her so tight thinking that this might be the last time he would be allowed to hold her like this. He braced himself for the goodbye.
But then she squeezed back and he could feel the tears on his neck and they just stood there, neither saying anything, but when her tears didn’t stop he knew everything wasn’t fine again.
He pulled back to look at her, wiping her cheeks with his thumbs.
“Pam?”
“Just give me a moment.”
She finally pulled away.
“I want to try to talk about this.”
“Yeah, okay, we can do that.”
“This is really hard to say and I can’t promise that I’ll be able to make it through this.” She moved to the bed and sat at the edge.
And he could feel his eyes watering up by just the sound of her voice.
“Please don’t cry,” she said through her own tears.
He gave her a small smirk letting her know that it was okay.
“I thought I could be strong about all of this, thought that I should be strong. And somewhere along the way that turned into ignoring everything I felt.”
He went to pull her into his arms again.
“Please let me finish.”
He said okay and took a step back.
“I don’t want you to hate me.”
“Hate you for what?”
“Hate me because I might have gotten rid of a baby that we made.” She slouched over and continued to cry.
“No. I could never hate you, ever. It was the right choice, it was your choice and I was okay with it. I’ll always be okay with it.” He picked her back up.
“What if I’m not okay with it? What if I hate myself?”
He kneeled down in front of her and held her face in his hands again and kissed her right beneath her eyes and she let go and the tears were falling faster now. He leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. Eventually he could feel her heart rate slow down and her breaths became deeper.
She could feel his breath on her face and there was something so calming about being this close to him in his arms. He didn’t have to say anything, he could just hold her and he made everything alright again.
“Pam, it was an accident. It wasn’t planned. Don’t feel guilty.”
“I can’t stop though.”
“Pam,” he frowned at her and his eyes watered up again.
He should have tried to hold them back because when she saw his eyes she let a sob. He again pulled her closer and waited for her cries to subside.
“I love you, I really do,” she said before she kissed his cheek gently.
He pulled back again wiping the last of the tears from her face and she reached up and wiped away the single tear that had escaped his eye before kissing him again.
She leaned forward and pulled him up to his feet and eventually he was on the bed.
“It’s been a week since I kissed you.”
“I know,” she said looking up at him. “It was the longest week of my life. Even when I was mad at you I still wanted to kiss you.”
Her hands moved underneath his shirt.
He wasn’t sure if this was the best idea. Having sex when that was what caused all of this in the first place.
“You sure you want to do this?”
She nodded slowly and he could see something in her eyes that was different. He leaned forward and she wrapped her arms around his back. He wasn’t going to do anything until she decided it was time.
She reached for the hem of his sweater and pulled it over his head and then for his undershirt. She reached for his hand and moved it toward her shirt and he pushed it up a little. But her hand found his again and placed it on her shirt. This time she sat up as he pulled the shirt over her head.
“You sure?” He asked again.
She nodded again and he reached for the zipper on her pants. She felt the breath catch in his throat as her lips trailed down to his collar bone.
“Are you?” She teased.
He paused.
“You’re not sure.”
“I think maybe we should wait,” he said.
“Wait?”
“Yeah, it’s only been a week since it happened. Do you really think we could handle another scare this soon?”
“I see your point, but is it going to make a difference if it happens sooner rather than later. Not that I think that it’ll be a regular occurrence,” she joked and held her breath for his reaction.
“I feel like I just lost a debate that I didn’t even start.”
“A debate? You really want to debate about whether or not we should sleep together?”
“Hmm... not sure how I ended up saying that.” He leaned back down and kissed her hard. “You are sure though?”
“Yes, I’m totally sure. Are you?”
“Yes, there isn’t even a question. If you wanted we could do this all day. Literally we could just lie here all day and I would be the happiest man in the world. And hopefully you would be the happiest woman in the world, but I’m not trying to brag or anything.”
“Brag, please brag.”
He smiled while biting his lip.
“Okay. I know you let out the softest sigh when I kiss you here.” He dipped his head and kissed her right below her ear on her jaw. Her lips parted as he took some skin between his teeth.
“And I know that you moan when I put my hand here.” He whispered in her ear and he slid a hand up from her knee and his fingertips sank into her thigh. She moaned. “Yeah, that moan.” He went back to kissing her jaw as his hands went back to her pants and he began removing them.
“And my favorite thing that you do...”
“That I do?” She interrupted.
“Yeah.”
“You can’t brag about something I do. Its got to be something that you make me do.”
“I was getting to that.”
She put her hands around the back of his neck and pulled him down. She had forgotten already that this had all started with tears and confessions.
“I love you,” he whispered against her lips and he slipped the rest of her clothes off.
“Not fair.”
“What’s not fair?”
“You’re still half clothed.”
“We’ll get to that. Patience is a virtue.”
She laughed.
“Patience is a virtue is funny?”
“Yes,” she giggled.
“Do I want to know?”
“Angela said the same thing to me today when I asked if we had to wait to exit the church before it was our aisle’s turn to go.”
“There was some many things wrong with that sentence.”
She crooked an eyebrow at him.
“One, you’re naked and talking about Angela and that is just so wrong on every single level. Two, I’m pretty sure you just said you were at church with Angela. Three, you thought about Angela while you should be thinking about all of this,” he pointed to himself.
“I’m sorry,” she snorted.
“I don’t even think I can do this anymore.”
“Really?” She arched into him.
“Wait... and I’m over it.” He leaned back down and kissed her.
She was lying on her stomach looking up at him sleep. He was beautiful. She ran a finger down his chest and he shivered. He caught her hand on the trip back up his chest. He brought it to his lips and kissed it.
“Can you do me a favor?” His eyes slowly opened.
“Anything.”
“Please don’t ever take that ring off.”
“I won’t.”
“When I found it sitting on your dresser I almost lost it.”
“I put it back on when I got back.”
“Promise me it’ll stay there.”
“I promise. You’ll have to pry it from my cold dead hands to get it back.”
“Nice, Pam.” He cringed.
“I’m just letting you know that I mean business.”
“One day I’ll buy you a real ring, but until then this one stays put.”
She felt her cheeks warm up and the heat began spreading all over until she was sure that she was completely pink from head to toe. Did he just say that he intended to marry her one day? Or was he literally just talking about jewelry with no hidden meanings? This was new territory, they joked about forever, but this didn’t sound like a joke.
.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Jim and Pam make up.
Chapter End Notes:
Next chapter Jim and Pam try to help Dwight and Angela get back together. By the way you guys are so great with the reviews, I'm really glad you guys have stuck with my through this many chapters.
