What if I hadn't gotten officially engaged three months before we met that first day? What if Roy hadn't moved in with me three years before that?

What if I'd been strong enough to face the fact that I was feeling something I'd never felt before?

What if I'd known then what he would say?

What if I'd known that this was only the beginning? What if I hadn't been so sure that those strange feelings would all just go away? What if I'd known they would get harder, not easier, to ignore?

What if I hadn't been so incredibly clueless?