Michael entered his office quickly. He saw Dwight’s desk and didn’t want to deal with it right now. Although he and Jan had ended it before Christmas, she still called him weekly. It was like she was his boss still, but worse. When he got home last night, he found Jan, sitting on his couch. She had spent the day rearranging his furniture, and was acting as if they had never broken up. He had to get his key back from her somehow.

            “Michael, Jim covered my desk in Saran Wrap – he admitted it. I would like permission to fire him.”

            “Dwight… just go uncover your desk. It’s just saran wrap.”

            “Michael, he admitted it, there must be disciplinary action!”

            “Dwight!”

            “Fine, but don’t think I’ll forget about this…” Dwight mumbled as he left.

            When Kelly came out to reception at 10:30, it didn’t seem suspicious to anyone. She was chattering on and on about something as normal. However, only Jim noticed the small nod that Pam gave her as she left.

            Kelly went into Michael’s office and shut the door.

            “Michael, so I totally need to talk to you, but you can’t tell anyone. Like, not even Jan. And certainly not Darryl. He would be so angry if he found out. I mean, can you imagine Darryl angry? He’s scary. I don’t know what to do.”

            “Fine, what is it? I won’t tell anyone,” Michael sighed. As a boss, his job was never done.

            “Well, you know how Ryan was in town like a month ago? He took me out to drinks. Well, really, I followed him to the bar with his friends. And I got really drunk. Altough I don’t know how. Like, I ordered appletini’s, but the bartender must be stupid, because they tasted gross. So then I tried chocotinis. Those were great. Have you ever had them? They taste like chocolate. So I kept drinking them. Because Ryan was just talking about all of his friends and totally ignoring me, you know how he does that? He acts like you don’t even exist.

            So I got really drunk. And Ryan drove me home, isn’t that sweet? I was like ‘I love you Ryan,’ because I did. He was so nice, that’s why I really love Ryan.”

            “Kelly! I don’t want to hear about Ryan. He’s just a jerk who went to corporate. He stole Jan’s job.”

            “But you and Jan broke up, why do you care?”

            “It just isn’t cool to be taking her job, to go off to corporate, leaving your real family behind.”

            “Well, yeah, but he’s so smart and corporate, so its really great. I mean, can you just imagine living in New York with Ryan? I would love that.”

            “Kelly…”

            “I’m pregnant.” Kelly shut up and stared at Michael. “Please Michael, you can’t tell anyone. I don’t know what I am going to do. I can’t tell Darryl. He hates Ryan. And Ryan doesn’t believe me, he says I’m lying.” Kelly bursts out in tears.

            Michael sighed. This was not going to be a good day.

            When Kelly finally left Michael’s office, she gave Pam a wink. Things were going according to the plan.

            Just before lunch, Meredith headed into Michael’s office. Pam gave Jim a big smile. This was going better than expected.

            “Did I sleep with you?” Meredith asked directly.

            “What? No. Gross. Yuck.” Michael nearly gagged at the thought.

            “Damn. My doc says I’m pregnant. But I can’t figure out whose kid it is.”

            “What?”

            “Yeah, I can’t remember sleeping with anyone. I mean, there was that guy from the bar, but he sucked, so that couldn’t have been it.”

            “That’s what she said.”

            “What?”

            “Um, never mind. So, you are… with child?”

            “Yeah, Michael. And I think you’re the father.”

            “What, no, I’m with Jan. She would never allow me to…”

            “You guys broke up. You were upset, you slept with me.”

            “What? No.. no.. no…”

            “Fine, face it, Michael. You’re gonna be in charge with this one.”

            Meredith stormed out of the office.

            At lunch time, Jim walked up to reception. “Pam, you ready for lunch?”

            “Sure, let me just turn on voicemail.”

            They could barely contain their laughter until the elevator.

            “Man, did you see Michael after Meredith left? Priceless.”

            “Michael, I’m still on Dwight. He wouldn’t even let anyone near his desk for the rest of the morning.”

            “We’re so mean.”

            “I think you mean brilliant.”

            “Oh, of course, Brilliant.”

            At two, Pam smiled at Jim and walked over to Michael’s office, gently knocking on the door before she went in.

            “Michael?” she asked, worry evident in her voice.

            “Ah, Pamburlgar, what can I do for you.”

            Pam softly closed the door behind her. “Pamburlgar?”

            “You know, from McDonalds.”

            “Oh, okay. Well, I need your help.”

            “What? Not you also!”

            “Hmm?”

            “Never mind, so how can I help you, my Pamela?”

            “Well, you know how I’ve been feeling kind of sick the past week? I took one of those little pregnancy tests, you know, and it turns out I’m… pregnant.”

            “Uh..” Michael was speechless.

            “See, I want to surprise Jim, it has to be a surprise. He really wants a kid, did you know that? We were talking about it at Christmas, but we agreed that it was too soon; we haven’t even been dating a year or anything.

            But, now I am. So, I know he’ll be happy, but you just need to keep it a secret, all right? Can you do that Michael? Promise me?”

            “Certainly, oh, come here.” Michael grabbed Pam and pulled her into a hug. “And,you, Michael Jr., you don’t cause any problems to your mommy, you hear?” He said, looking at her stomach.

            “Well, Michael…never mind.” Pam quickly left the room. If he wanted to name the kid Michael, Jr., let him have the fun of it.

            The day was nearly over, and Jim was surprised Michael had kept his mouth shut as long as he had. He guessed it was only because of fear that he wasn’t talking. An office full of pregnant workers could be frightening for any man. Only Phyllis was left, and the thought of that was sure to disgust him enough to keep quiet for the rest of the day.

            As if on queue, Phyllis scooted back and headed towards Michael’s office.

            “Um, Michael?” she whispered quietly.

            “Ugh, what is it Phyllis?”

            “Well, Bobby and I have been talking about having kids, he thinks I’m 36 you know. And he really wants some.

            “Gross Phyllis. You’re old enough to be a grandmother.”

            “We’re the same age, Michael.”

            “No, I was, it was different. You’re older.”

            “I went to the doctor’s yesterday, you know how I left early?”

            “You left early?”

            “The doctor said I couldn’t get pregnant.” Phyllis cried. “How can I tell Bobby. He wants a child so badly.”

            “Doesn’t he already have kids? Those weird ones that look the same?”

            “Yeah, the twins. But he wants my baby. Oh Michael, what should I do?” Phyllis paused, trying to see if he was buying it. “Do you know anyone else who’s pregnant? Maybe adoption?”

            “Um.. I mean…maybe…”

            “Really? Michael, please, tell me, I promise to keep it a secret, I just need some hope for me and my dear Bobby.”

            “No, Phyllis. I can’t tell. I promised. Just leave. Leave, okay. I can’t handle this now.”

            Pam could barely contain her smile when she saw Phyllis leave. Michael must be going crazy right now. All they had to do was wait another 30 minutes and then they were home free.