His cell phone rang just as he was heading out to his car, throwing his bag in the passenger’s seat.

“Jim? It’s Toby.”

“Hey man.” He slid into the driver’s seat, slamming the door behind him, then struggling with his seat belt. “What’s up?”

“I need to ask you a huge favor.” To Jim’s trained ear, Toby sounded as frantic as he ever got….which he rarely, rarely did.

“Name it.” Jim said, starting the car, backing out of his driveway.

“Nancy’s mother had a stroke – “

“I’m so sorry, Toby.” Jim said, wincing a little.  He knew that Toby’s divorce had been brutal, but that Toby was still struggling to get over Nancy.  Somehow it hadn’t mattered how much she’d hurt him or the extent of the hell she’d made him suffer through; he just couldn’t shake what he felt for her.

Jim could relate.

“Yeah, thanks.” Toby sounded exhausted. “So she had to drop Sasha off just now, and I don’t have time to arrange for a sitter.   I would bring her in with me and just let her stay with me all day at the office, but Michael and I are meeting with corporate at 9:30, so I – “

“Hey, say no more.” Jim smiled as he thought of Sasha. “Seriously, it’s no problem; she can hang out with me while you’re gone.”

“So you could manage that?” Already Toby was beginning to sound a little relieved. “You don’t have too hectic a day?”

Jim laughed out loud.

“Please, Toby; are you kidding me?” He could tell Toby was smiling. “So yeah, I can keep an eye on her for as long as you need.  Besides, it’s been way too long since I’ve gotten to spend any time with her.”

Back when Toby had been going through the divorce, Jim had done a lot of these sorts of favors.  There had been a particularly rough patch – something to do with the custody hearings, Nancy insisting that Toby not leave Sasha with a sitter when he had her – and for a while, Toby had had to bring her to the office with him on a regular basis. 

This had been a few years earlier, when Sasha was two and a half, three; Jim had grown to look forward to watching her when Toby had meetings.  He loved kids, always had, but there were no small children in his family; his only sibling, Jonathan, wasn’t married, so Jim didn’t have any nieces or nephews to spoil.

In those days, it had been easy to keep her entertained – Jim could set her up in a chair next to his desk, give her a pile of paper and some crayons, and she’d be content to sit and draw quietly, showing him each drawing after she’d completed it.  She loved the faces he made, throwing her head all the way back when she giggled, her belly laugh the best sound he’d ever heard.  Or he did funny voices for her stuffed animals and dolls while she watched, wide-eyed, clapping in delight. 

He found himself smiling as he pulled into the parking lot in anticipation of seeing her.  He’d seen her only a few times here lately, and never for very long; it had actually been a few years since he’d watched her for Toby.

This is gonna be a good day.

He was still smiling when he walked into the office.  Pam was already at her desk, glancing over at him and doing a double take at the smile on his face.

“Well you look happy this morning.” She said, studying his face closely. 

His grin widened.

“Well I am happy this morning, Pam.” He informed her, hanging up his coat.

“Okay….what’s going on?” She asked, wondering what could possibly have him looking so thrilled this early in the morning.

“I’m going to have a very special visitor today.” He told her, leaning against her desk.

“Oh?” Her eyebrows raised, and immediately she thought: a woman?

She tried to act nonchalant as she asked, “And who exactly might this very special visitor be?”

He could have sworn he detected a flicker of jealousy behind her eyes, in the corners of her mouth.

Interesting….

He couldn’t resist the urge to play with her just a little.

“Let’s just say that she’s a girl who’s really important to me.” He almost regretted what he’d said when he saw the shadows darken her eyes, her smile falling.

“Oh really?” She asked, not sure what else to say, shocked at what he’d just told her. 

Oh my god; I didn’t know he was even dating anybody, much less is seriously involved with someone….

He knew he was an idiot for feeling so sorry for her – after all, she put him through hell on a fairly regular basis.  But he couldn’t stand the look on her face.

So he added, “She’s just an old friend.”

Pam could see that he was trying to downplay this, which made her even more suspicious. 

My god, he’s really serious; this is happening.  And I’m going to have to see her – talk to her.   

Pam felt absolutely unnerved, her palms beginning to sweat at the possibility of having to face Jim’s “very special” old friend.

He noticed a slight distance there for the first half hour; usually they either made little comments to one another across the room or at the very least, IM’d one another.  But she was oddly distracted this morning, he noticed, not even turning her eyes his way. 

He wondered if maybe he should just tell her the truth….then found himself distracted by how much this seemed to have shaken her.

It was just another indication that yes, she felt it, too.

The darkness was beginning to hover over him, so he didn’t even notice when the doors opened, and Toby and Sasha came in.

Pam smiled at them both, and then was caught off guard when the little girl’s eyes lit up before she exclaimed happily, “Jim!”

He looked up, a similar light in his own eyes as he said, “Sasha!”

She had let go of Toby’s hand before Jim even had time to get out of his desk, but he met her halfway, sweeping her up into a hug, swinging her around as she threw her thin arms around his neck.  He playfully burrowed his face in her neck, making a growling sound at her as she shrieked.

When he pulled back to smile at her, she placed a tiny hand on his cheek, then said, “Daddy says I get to stay with you today.”

“That you do.” He nodded, kneeling to put her gently on her feet as he told her, “And have I got some serious stuff for you to do.”

“Really?” There was that light in her eyes again as she grinned up at him.

“Yep.”  He nodded, then suddenly exclaimed, “Hey! What happened to your teeth?”

He knelt again so that he was on eye level with her.

She giggled, raising her shoulders as if she were embarrassed, then said, “They fell out!”

Jim drew back as if he were surprised to hear it, then repeated, “They fell out?  What, were you not brushing them or something?”

Sasha chuckled, then said, “No, silly, they fall out by themselves – they’re supposed to!”

“Ah, I see.” Jim nodded seriously, then leaned toward her conspiratorially, asking, “So….tooth fairy?”

She nodded emphatically, whispering, “Two dollars and a pack of gum.”

“And a pack of gum?” He repeated, raising his eyebrows, then nodding in approval. “Not bad, Sasha – not bad at all.” 

Toby, who had been watching the whole exchange, stepped forward with a wan smile, saying, “Thanks so much, Jim.”

Jim glanced up at him, noticing that his eyes were tired and weary.  It occurred to Jim that they needed to spend some time together outside of work.  Once upon a time, they’d gone out for drinks on a weekly basis. 

“No, thank you.” Jim smiled, glancing down at Sasha. “You’ve made my day, man – seriously.”

Toby gave Sasha a quick kiss, saying softly, “You be good for Jim, okay?”

She nodded, kissing him on the cheek, then waving as he went out the door.

Pam sat watching all of this, a strange, almost sinking feeling low in the pit of her stomach.  She’d always suspected he’d be great with kids, but this…. This made something in her ache for some reason – and made it absolutely impossible for her to turn her eyes away from him.

Sasha was struggling with the zipper on her coat; it had gotten stuck at the very bottom, caught on the fabric inside.  Jim turned, kneeling down on one knee in front of her, a frown on his face as he tried to figure it out.

“What….?” He murmured, eyebrows knit in exaggerated concentration. 

She giggled delightedly at him, prompting him to say, “Oh, what?  You think this is funny?  Trying to confuse me like this?  You know I can’t do zippers.”

She laughed even harder, and Pam could see that he was struggling to keep a straight face, but was failing miserably, a small smile pulling at his lips.

Then he pulled his hand back, blew dramatically on his fingers, and reached forward, deftly unhooking the bottom of her jacket. 

“See that?” He asked, nodding at her as if he’d done something magical. 

Sasha giggled again, then rolled her eyes at him. 

Pam was absolutely mesmerized at his dynamic with this little girl, just could not stop staring.  

As if he could feel her watching him, he glanced up at her, giving her a quick wink and a smile, then, offering his hand to Sasha, said, “C’mon; I want you to meet somebody.”

Sasha took his hand agreeably, walking with him up to Pam’s desk.

“Sasha,” Jim began, gesturing toward Pam, who stepped out from behind the desk to smile down at her.  She had to admit the little girl was absolutely adorable, and she wasn’t one to typically find herself gushing over small children.

Of course, this small child happened to be attached at the hip to Jim, who projected an adorable light of his own.

Pam felt a small smile on her lips at the thought, prompting Jim to make a face at her as if to ask, What?

She shook her head almost imperceptibly, so he continued with his introduction.

“This,” He gestured toward Pam, “is my friend Pam.”

Sasha held out her hand politely, prompting Pam to look up at Jim in amazement – Jim, who was standing there with a hand on Sasha’s shoulder, beaming with pride as though she were his.

Oh my god, to see him with a little girl of his own….maybe with his smile and his eyes, curly hair like mine….

She snapped herself out of it, startled at how quickly imagining Jim’s daughter had turned into imagining their daughter.

“Hi Sasha.” Pam shook her hand.

“Hi.” Sasha gave her a smile, then, looking at Jim, asked, “Is she your favorite friend?”

Pam tilted her head expectantly in anticipation of how Jim would answer that one.  He shot her a funny look, then smiled down at Sasha.

Something warm settled over his features as he answered, “As a matter of fact, she is; she’s my best friend, actually.”

He felt shy as soon as he’d said it; there was something about being around Sasha that had made it seem okay to say such a thing.  He didn’t realize until the words were out of his mouth that he’d only said them aloud before once, during that nightmarish speech Katy had forced him to give.

He tried to shake the memory, raising his eyes to find Pam staring at him now, an expression of just open adoration all over her face.  Their eyes met and held for several long seconds, their smiles tempered with the emotion of the moment.

They hadn’t realized Sasha was watching this.

She giggled suddenly, startling them both, then she gestured exaggeratedly for Jim to lean down toward her so she could whisper in his ear.

He did so, his eyes still on Pam, his smile widening. 

Pam loved the way Sasha’s small arm went around Jim’s neck, her fingers curling into his hair, her other hand cupping his ear as his hand looked huge on her tiny back, his palm covering her shoulder blades completely. 

“Is she your girlfriend?” She whispered loudly – loudly enough for Pam to hear as well.

“What?” Jim scoffed, hoping Sasha didn’t notice the blush on his cheeks – or Pam’s for that matter.  Pam was a lovely shade of pink, hands nervously toying with her necklace.

“No!” Jim answered, shaking his head at Sasha.

Sasha looked at him, raising her chin as if to study him closely, then said, “I think she is your girlfriend because you’re all red.”

Of course he went a deeper shade of red, astonished that a five year-old was calling him out on this.

I have got to get a grip. 

“What?” He repeated again indignantly, knowing Pam’s eyes were on his face.  When he dared to glance at her, she was starting to laugh, one hand covering her mouth.

He raised an eyebrow, pointing at her as he murmured, “I’ll deal with you later.”

Something in the way he said it struck her as incredibly....hot; that threatening note in his voice, his eyebrow raised – very sexy, she thought. 

Then she chided herself immediately: You are so awful; he’s all delighted and sweet with this little girl, and you’re standing here lusting after him like you’ve never seen him before.  Good god.  

….This has to be a hormonal thing.  That’s what it is – maybe that and a biological thing, like seeing him with a child triggers something weird in me.  

Yes, that’s it. 

“And you….” He went on, turning to Sasha, who giggled in anticipation of what he was going to say. “….are silly.”

With that, he stood, nodding toward his desk, “C’mon.”

Pam tried to be a little more discreet as she watched them for the rest of the morning, Dwight eventually coming in and providing his own bizarre foil to the whole scenario. 

Pam and Jim’s eyes had met when Dwight had sized Sasha up, then held out a hand, greeting her as if she were an adult: “Hello tiny one.”

Sasha looked skeptically at him, then took his hand, informing him, “My name is Sasha.”

“My name is Mr. Schrute.” Dwight told her, then: “Where’s your father?”

“He’s away.” She answered. “I’m staying with Jim today.”

Dwight shot Jim a nasty look, while Jim smiled angelically at him in return.

“See that you keep her quiet.” Dwight instructed, popping open his briefcase.

“I’ll do what I can.” Jim told him, shrugging. “But honestly, I’m a little scared of her.”

Sasha giggled; Dwight rolled his eyes at Jim.

“No, I’m serious.” Jim insisted, not breaking, a dead serious look on his face.  Pam was delighted to see little Sasha mimicking him – her own small mouth settling into a serious expression as she looked over at Dwight, her eyes skipping to Jim, seeking his approval.  He gave her a sly wink.

My god…this is too much, Pam thought.

“Why would you be scared of her?” Dwight asked, lips curling slightly in disdain.

“She bit me once when she was three.” Jim answered seriously, never cracking a smile.

Sasha was grinning again, gums where her front teeth should have been.

Jim glanced down at her then, feigning indignation as he asked, “What?  What are you smiling at?  You did; you bit me for no reason.  It hurt, too.”

Pam’s hand was over her mouth, shoulders shaking in silent laughter as she sat watching him, just delighted.

“I did not.” Sasha said skeptically, shaking her head.

“Did, too.” Jim insisted.

“Did you cry?” Sasha asked, tilting her face up at him.

Dwight’s eyes narrowed; Pam waited expectantly.

Jim didn’t skip a beat.

“Well yeah.  You bit me; what was I supposed to do – laugh?” He asked.

She grinned up at him, shaking her head.

Then Dwight said, “You are such a poor role model, Jim.  Encouraging that kind of behavior.”

“Who said I was encouraging it?” Jim asked, shrugging again. “I was just stating a fact, Dwight: When she was three years old, she bit me; it hurt, and I cried.  End of story.”

Sasha’s smile widened.

“You are so weak.” Dwight spat at him. “Just pathetic.”

“Hey!” Sasha’s eyes were narrowed now, her brow darkening.  Jim’s eyes widened in surprise; he cast a glance toward Pam instinctively.

She was watching intently, her own eyes wide. 

Oh my god; if she defends him, I will absolutely die right now.  

“Don’t you be mean to Jim!” Sasha pointed at Dwight.

Jim put the back of his fist to his mouth to keep from laughing, struggling with everything in him not to just pull Sasha onto his lap.

“Don’t you raise your voice at me, little girl.” Dwight snapped, adding, “And it’s very rude to point.”

Angela was watching the scene closely, arms folded, nodding in a show of solidarity with Dwight.

“All right.” Jim intervened. “That’s enough – leave her alone, Dwight.  And you…”

He glanced over at Sasha, a smile on his lips. “Behave yourself.”

Then he leaned toward her and whispered, “But hey, thanks for sticking up for me.”

She nodded at him, looking staunchly serious for a moment.  He couldn’t stand it, had to reach out and ruffle her hair. 

He’d kept her entertained until lunch, “commissioning” various artistic renderings from her – her dog Scout, a turtle, some balloons….Dwight.  He’d then exclaimed delightedly over all her drawings, taking the time to seriously examine each one, commenting thoughtfully to her.

Sasha, in turn, seemed to hang on his every word, her eyes gazing up at his face in adoration the whole time.

Pam had never identified with a five year-old so much in her life.

About ten minutes before lunchtime, Jim strolled up and leaned against Pam’s desk.

Before he could say anything, she blurted, “Oh my god, Jim.  You two?  Adorable. I had no idea….”

He flushed a little, thrilled at her compliment.  Really?

He couldn’t help but tease a little, asking, “Seriously?  So are you saying that I’m adorable, too, or are you just referring to Sasha?”

She forced herself to roll her eyes in mock exasperation, but her smile gave her away. 

He smiled back at her, then asked, “So, would you be up for a little walk to the park over lunch?  I’m thinking a picnic might be in order – which will, of course, take longer than our one hour lunch break, but Michael’s not here, so….”

She grinned, delighted.

“I would love to.” She told him, made even happier by the way he looked so excited.

“Cool.” He said, smiling before he went back to his desk, joining Sasha. 

“So,” She heard him ask. “Do you like grilled cheese sandwiches?”

A smile pulled at Pam’s lips as she remembered that night on the roof.

“Yeah!” Sasha exclaimed enthusiastically.  Jim grinned, again unable to resist the urge to touch her cheek.

“All right, then.  So you can help me make some – you and Pam.” He glanced across at Pam, who nodded seriously. 

Sasha looked delighted.

Pam hadn’t really helped – instead had hung back, leaning against the counter as she watched how patiently Jim explained the various steps to Sasha, showing her how to slice the cheese (plastic knife), then letting her give it her best try, praising her enthusiastically, as if she were the first person ever to slice a piece of cheese.  He’d shown her how to put the sandwich together, then she watched as he placed the sandwiches in the toaster oven, letting her set the timer.

On the way to the park, Sasha had stood in between Jim and Pam, holding tight to both their hands (her suggestion), laughing hysterically as they counted to three, then lifted her, swinging her off her feet.

It felt so astonishingly right to him, this; he could so envision this being his future – laughing with Pam, playing with their kids….

The image hurt so much that he tried to just shut it out – though he wondered what she was thinking. 

How could she not be thinking this, too?  Because it’s absolutely weird – almost uncanny –how natural this is, like we’ve stepped into this alternate universe where we’re together, where we have a child….where life is normal and wonderful and full.  

She glanced over at him, taking in his familiar profile – then smiling as he turned toward her, giving her that look – that tender look she’d never before seen from anyone but Jim.  The look that so clearly told her he wouldn’t trade this moment for the world – that he’d give anything in the world for more of these moments, more of her.

Only this time, she couldn’t look away; something about having Sasha between them made it feel a little more safe.

He’s going to be the most incredible father….an even more amazing husband. 

And then she was caught, realizing that he’d never be her husband, would never be the father of her children.

And in those moments, there was nothing she wanted more than for him to be those things.  Just the thought was dizzying. 

She’d been touched at how careful Jim was with Sasha; after they’d finished lunch, she’d wanted to swing, and Jim had cautioned her several times to hold tight to the chains, not to let go.

“And don’t tilt your head too far back; you might get dizzy and fall.” He called out, smiling at Pam, who stood behind her pushing the swing gently; Jim had insisted on standing in front of her “just in case.”

Sasha had giggled at him, eventually convincing him that she was big enough to do this on her own – that she could push herself with her feet.

“You don’t have to stand in front of me, Jim.” She told him, eyeing him like a teenager. “I’m not a baby anymore.”

Pam smiled at the look on Jim’s face – bewildered, amused….a tiny bit hurt.

“Okay, okay.” He told her, raising a hand. “I’m going.”

He backed away, sitting next to Pam on a bench nearby, his eyes never leaving Sasha.

“You’re really good with her.” Pam said, watching his face. “You’re a natural.”

He smiled at her, not sure what to make of that.  Instinctively, his eyes flicked back to Sasha, then turned back to Pam when he was satisfied that Sasha wasn’t swinging too high.

“Yeah, well…..” He shrugged. “I’ve always loved kids, and there are no little kids in my family at all.  So I love it when I can see Sasha.”

Pam nodded, eyes on his face as he seemed lost in thought. 

Then he added, “I keep telling Jonathan he needs to hurry up and get married; he’s our only hope.”

He grinned, but Pam was staring at him, then asked, “Your only hope….?  What does that mean?”

He flushed a little, wishing he hadn’t said that.

“Eh, nothing.  Just that….well, you know, it’s not likely that I’ll be getting married any time soon….” His eyes fell to the table.

She was immensely relieved to hear it, but curious, too.

“Why not?” She asked.

He raised his eyes to hers, staring at her for a second, his head tilted slightly.  

Then he looked back down at the table.

An uncomfortable silence fell for a moment, then he looked back toward Sasha. 

She noticed that, even as he was clearly distracted by their conversation, his eyes continually roamed toward Sasha as she swung.

He changed the subject back then, as if they hadn’t had that awkward interlude.

“For a while there….” He shook his head. “Things were pretty rough with Toby and Nancy – his ex-wife.  I spent a lot of time with Sasha when she was really young, like two and three.”

Pam nodded, a little surprised.  She knew Jim and Toby had always gotten along, just hadn’t realized they’d been that close.

When she mentioned this, Jim nodded, explaining, “Yeah, well Toby used to sit where Dwight sits, so we became really good friends….until Michael got jealous and forced Toby to move to the back.”

Pam rolled her eyes knowingly. 

And then the next thing he knew, Sasha was no longer on the swing, but was on the ground, her small hands out in front of her, covered in sand, her whole face contorted as she started to cry.

“Oh my god!” Jim exclaimed, a look of panic on his face that Pam had never seen before.  He was on his feet and kneeling next to Sasha within seconds, Pam following him. 

“Are you okay?” There was a slight note of hysteria threaded through his voice as he held her back for a second, his eyes searching frantically for broken bones, blood….  He was relieved to see that she seemed more shaken than anything.

Her arms wound around his neck as she started to wail, he pulling her closer and rubbing her back, seeming impossibly tiny beneath his hand as he whispered, “Shhh….it’s okay, sweetie; I’ve got you.  You’re okay now.”

She continued to cry, gulping in great hiccoughing sobs as he sought desperately to soothe her, feeling so incredibly helpless.

Pam stood watching them, caught off guard at the tears that welled in her eyes at the sight: Jim kneeling in the sand, his eyes closed, face still a little pale with worry; Sasha clutching onto him as if to keep from drowning, her little body shaking all over as she gasped and sobbed, head buried in his chest, one hand in a little fist on his shoulder.

She looked so safe there, so protected.  That was the thing about Jim, Pam found herself thinking: he had the uncanny ability to make everything seem all right somehow, no matter how devastated or upset he himself was.

….And she could see that he was clearly upset by this, still a little shaken at the panic he’d felt when he’d first seen her on the ground, assuming the worst.

He didn’t move, nor did he stop whispering to her, until her sobs gradually subsided to the point at which she was quiet, only occasionally gasping from a stray sob here or there.

When he was sure she was calm, he drew back from her a little.  Pam felt that ache in her chest swell when she saw the expression on Jim’s face as Sasha pulled back to look up at him, her small face wet with tears, mouth all wet and red, eyes wide. 

That ache intensified when she saw Jim gently wipe away her tears with his thumb, whispering, “You’re okay; it’s okay now.”

Sasha had simply stared at him, chin trembling.

He’d then asked gently, “Do you want to go back to the office now?”

She’d nodded.

“And you’re okay?” He couldn’t help it – knew he should stay calm for her sake, but he was just so damned scared she’d hurt herself.

She nodded again, lips still trembling. 

“Okay then.” He said softly, then asked, his voice barely above a whisper, “Do you want me to carry you back?”

Once more she nodded, her head immediately lowering to his shoulder, arms tightening around his neck as he stood to his full height, glancing over at Pam for the first time.

He was shocked to see that she was actually crying, her hand over her mouth, a tear streaked on one of her cheeks.  Again, the alarm, the utter panic shot through him.

“Hey….” His voice was as gentle as it had been when he’d been comforting Sasha.

Pam shook her head, embarrassed as she wiped the tears away.

“I’m okay.” She gave him a brave smile, feeling five years old herself. “I’m just….that was a little intense.”

And somehow it just kills me to see you with this little girl, and I’m not sure why; maybe it’s because I’m watching you, thinking about all that I’ll never have.  

“Tell me about it.” He looked pained again, then nodded toward the road, indicating that they should start moving.

They didn’t speak on the fifteen minute walk back to the office.  He sensed from the weight of Sasha’s head and the way it bobbed slightly with his footsteps that she had fallen asleep. 

Suddenly, nothing was more important to him than getting her back to the office without waking her, just so she could sleep for a while and hopefully forget about this whole scary incident.

When they made it back to the office, Sasha deeply asleep now, Pam watched with her heart in her mouth as Jim laid her carefully on the sofa just to the right of Pam’s desk.  There was something astonishingly and painfully gentle in the way he made sure her head was at a comfortable angle, in the way that he took his coat from the coat rack and placed it over her, lifting her small feet and tucking it under them so she’d feel even safer – tucked in, cocooned.

Pam worried she’d cry again when he hesitated, staring down at Sasha with a look that was so weary – worn out from the panic he’d felt when she had fallen.

“Hey.” Pam whispered to him, prompting him to raise his head, meeting her eyes.

“Let’s go to the break room for a little bit.” She scanned his face, adding, “I think you could use a little….break to recover from this.”

It was one of those moments that startled him in its clarity; something in her expression told him she loved him.

He nodded, unable to say anything, just followed her into the break room, casting one last glance back at Sasha, who hadn’t moved.

They sat across from one another, she watching his face carefully as his eyes lowered to the table.

“Hey….” Her voice was as gentle as his had been when he’d soothed Sasha.

He raised his eyes, looking at her expectantly.

“Sasha’s okay.” She held his gaze until he nodded, then she added, “The question now is are you okay?”

He smiled ruefully at her, took a deep breath.

She loved him for how shaken he was, how deeply he cared for that five year-old girl who slept out on the sofa underneath his coat.

“Yeah.” He told her, shaking his head. “That was just….really scary.  I mean, I know kids fall off of swings all the time – I even broke my wrist doing it once – but still….seeing her on the ground like that….”

Pam’s head tilted almost involuntarily as she listened to him.

When his words died out, she asked quietly, “You broke your wrist….?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, pulling himself out of his worry. 

“I was seven; Jonathan was ten.  He was pushing me on the swing set at a playground near our house…” A small, nostalgic smile pulled at his lips. “And I kept telling him to push me higher – you know, I wanted to impress my big brother with how brave I was.”

Pam nodded, smiling softly at him, so clearly picturing he and Jonathan as little boys.

“But then I closed my eyes for a second – can’t remember why – and I got completely dizzy.  Ended up losing my grip and landing in a heap on the grass.” Again, that rueful grin.

“So what happened?” She asked, loving the sound of his voice.

“Well, I cried like a baby.” He grinned when she laughed at him – noticing that her laugh was cut short by something gentle.

“Jonathan felt awful; he knew my wrist was broken.”  He was smiling wistfully now, clearly lost in his memories.

“He talked me into getting up, managed to pep talk me all the way home.” His eyes were focused on something across the room, something that he wasn’t really seeing.

Then, as if he were snapping out of it, he suddenly laid his wrist out on the table, shoving his shirt sleeve back a little bit, showing her a tiny scar, faded with time.

“See that?” He asked. “It’s where my wrist hit the rock.”

She nodded, unable to keep from reaching a hand out to touch his wrist, her fingers gently gliding over his skin.

He fought not to close his eyes at her touch.

She knew she shouldn’t be touching him, but she just couldn’t not.  So she let her fingers linger on his wrist, moving gently up over his forearm, staring at the sinewy muscle there, noting the way his watchband circled his skin.

Without thinking, she said softly, “You have the best forearms….”

He blushed, shocked at a million different things, it seemed – how she was still gently caressing his arm, that she seemed absolutely transfixed, that she had complimented his forearm of all things….

So he forced himself to chuckle awkwardly, asking, “Forearms….?  I didn’t realize that that was a….thing that….women notice.”

His voice brought her back to herself.

She raised her eyes to his, pulling her hand away slowly, regretfully.  

“Yeah.” She smiled, shrugging nonchalantly. “Forearms, hands – we notice that sort of thing.”

“Hm.” He nodded, then glanced down at his forearms, splaying his hands out on the table.

“So how do the hands rate, then?” He asked.

You have no idea, she thought.  She actually had to swallow for a second.

He was still watching her closely, stunned.

I had no idea she even paid attention to my hands, ever….

“Very nice.” She answered, her voice a little throaty.

He blushed again, and she laughed.

She couldn’t resist the urge to tease him a little.

“Oh come on.” She tilted her head at him. “Do you mean to tell me that no woman has ever told you what incredible hands you have?”

As soon as she asked the question, she regretted it, because somehow, the implications of it hung in the air between them, undeniably sexual.

He looked a little startled, flustered, even stuttered a little.

“Well, I….” He pursed his lips, shaking his head. “I don’t….not that I can….”

Pam laughed at him then, without thinking saying quietly, “You are so adorable sometimes, I swear.”

Again those eyebrows raised. 

“Wow.” He said quietly.  Then: “So what’s with you today? All these….effusive compliments…”

When she looked embarrassed, he immediately reached out and touched her hand gently, adding, “Hey – I’m not complaining, trust me.”

He gave her a charming grin, his hand still resting against hers.