Michael steps over to reception from his office.
Michael: Pama-lama-ding-dong. The Pamster. Pammaroo. (He looks over at the camera, laughs to himself, and then turns his attention back to Pam) Any faxes?
Pam: No.
Michael: Okay. Hey, Pammy, I hear that you and Roy might still be planning a wedding after all.
(The camera focuses on Jim, who is pretending to work but who is listening rather intently to the conversation. Karen is standing nearby, and catches Jim’s expression. She rolls her eyes and walks back to her desk)
Michael: (cont’d) Because you should just pay the guy doing Phyllis and Bob’s wedding to do yours as well. A two-fer! Save money on the invites and decorations.
Pam: Michael, Roy and I… .
Michael: (cont’d) And we’d all be there already, and really, why party twice when you can party twice as hard once?
Pam: (Increasingly frustrated) Michael… .
Michael: I mean I know Phyllis’ wedding is next week so it’s kind of rushed, but you guys have been together for sooo long! You should just do it already! (Pauses) That’s what she said! (Laughs to himself)
Pam: (loudly) Enough! (The whole office turns to look) Michael, Roy and I are not getting married. Not next week, not next month… maybe never. Okay?
(Michael taps the reception desk a few times and looks awkwardly at the camera).
Pam: (cont’d) Besides, I’m Presbyterian and Phyllis is getting married in a Lutheran church, so… .
Michael: (after a pause) Well there you go then. (Pause. He turns around and starts to walk slowly back towards his office door). Back to work people. Nothing to see here. (He closes the door behind him).
Karen (talking head): I don’t understand Pam and Roy. They seem happy together. I mean, Pam’s not getting any younger, right? (Eyes the camera, looking slightly insecure, before straightening the collar on her jacket and smoothing our her pant leg)
Jim (talking head): I try not to pry into things, but it does seem like a very “Will They or Won’t They” scenario and I think it’s taking its toll on people other than just Michael. It’s confusing. After a while, you just ignore it. (Pause) I can ignore it fine. Just fine. (Long pause).
Pam (talking head): I didn’t marry Roy because of Jim. Jim moved away. Jim came back with a new girlfriend. Now I’m not engaged and Jim might as well be. (Pause) It’s funny how the roles are reversed now, isn’t it? Except this time, it’s so much more confusing because… well… Jim told me he was in love with me. (Pause, then with a hint of worry in her voice) I missed my chance, didn’t I?
(Camera focuses in over Pam’s shoulder, through the blinds, as we see Karen standing outside the door. Her body language lets us know that she heard everything. She walks away)
Later that day...
Karen (talking head): I wondered for a long time why Jim was acting weird. I honestly thought it was Dwight, and the fact that they were desk mates again. (She shakes her head) Now I know, and… (pause) I don’t think there’s anything I can do about it.
(Michael and Dwight are staring out of the window in the conference room as Jim and Karen fight in the parking lot)
Dwight: If they break up, one of them has to go.
Michael: (scoffs) Whaddyou talking about?
Dwight: The dominant personality will lay claim to the territory. Which means Jim will be gone. (He glances back at the camera and smirks).
Michael: Get out of here, Dwight. Where do you get your information from? Nobody is leaving Scranton.
Dwight: Just watch.
Michael: (dejectedly) I just hope they each pair off with someone else in the office. The sexual tension all these office romances have created is the only reason to get out of bed in the morning (noticing the camera) And… making sure Dunder Mifflin Scranton is the productive branch it is reputed to be.
Dwight: If Jim were struck by a bus, productivity would… .
Michael: Oh shut up, Dwight.
The next day
Jim (talking head): She broke up with me. And I can’t say I’m surprised. And I’m not that upset. I even bought a bagel for Dwight this morning. He threw it out because he said it smelled like rat poison, but the point is… I’m in a better mood today than I’ve been in over a year. (Jim casually glances over his shoulder in the general direction of the reception desk; when he looks back, he has a smile on his face, and he looks down at his hands before flashing the grin to the camera)
Pam (talking head): I knew something was different the moment I got the email from Jim suggesting that we only converse in song lyrics for today. He said we should do it every Friday and that there should be a new theme each week. Today is 80s day. (She grins) I hope the old Jim decides to stick around for a while.
(Jim peeks his head in the door. Pam turns to look and the camera follows).
Jim: Beesly, you hungry?
Pam: (grinning) Like a wolf, Jim.
Jim: (grinning back) Well…uh… I have run, and I’ve crawled, but I still haven’t found what I’m looking for… for lunch.
Pam: (laughing) Well then Jim, I’ve got to meet you by today at noon and cut through all this red tape.
Jim: (looks at the camera) She’s quick. (Looking back to Pam and continuing her line) At a bar called Poor Richards, where we’ll plan our escape.
Pam: But only if you like pina coladas.
Jim: Beesly, as Sheena Easton once said, that information is for your eyes only. (He grins and closes the door)
(Camera goes back to Pam, who stares after him, a smile on her face)
(Pam and Jim sit in the conference room)
Pam: Once a year, Michael finds a holiday that nobody in the office celebrates and he teaches us about it so we can be more multicultural. This year, he’s decided we should celebrate the start of the Muslim holy month of Ramadan by… (she looks at Jim)
Jim: …binge drinking at Poor Richards’ after work. (pause) As far as I know, Ramadan is supposed be a month of sun-up to sun-down fasting, and I thought Muslims didn’t drink, so… (flashes a ‘thumbs up’ to the camera) way to go, Michael.
Pam: (laughing) Let it be, Jim. Just let it be.
Jim: (to the camera) Today is Beatles day. (To Pam) Sometimes, Pam, it’s really all too much for me to take.
Pam: Your mother should know.
Jim: My mother does know, as a matter of fact.
(They grin at each other for a while until Pam hears the phone ring at her desk. She breaks eye contact, and runs out of the room to answer it).
Pam (talking head: Roy and I are… iffy. I’m not sure what we are. When I called off the wedding, I gave him back the ring. (She holds up her left hand to show the ring to the camera) Last night, he gave it back. I don’t want to do this again if I’m not sure, and I’ve been spending a lot of time with Jim, which makes me not sure about Roy at all. But Roy gave me a ring and if I don’t wear it… (pauses) I just need to know. For sure. Somehow, I know I’ll figure it out.
