Jim left the postcard up on his screen for the rest of the day. Even when he wasn’t looking at it, he knew it was there. He just wasn’t sure what to do with it yet.

            He tried convincing himself it was just a coincidence – that on June 11th, there was a postcard that said someone called off a wedding because of someone else. In Pam’s handwriting no less. A big coincidence, but it really couldn’t mean anything.

            But still, he couldn’t close the page.

            By Sunday night, the postcard was still on his screen. He debated leaving his computer on all night, as if it would disappear if he shut down his computer. He saved the picture, and reluctantly shut down.

            He lay in bed, thinking about the card. What if his suspicions were right, and Pam was the one who sent it? Did she really call it off because of him? She said she was still going to marry Roy, but maybe, just maybe, what he had said made a difference. Made her realize that Roy wasn’t good enough for her. She was amazing, beautiful and talented. And Roy never recognized that. Roy treated her like garbage; he wasn’t good enough for her. Did she finally realize that?

            Monday, he woke up early, just to check the postcard. It was still there, saved on his hard drive as always – ‘toolate.jpg.’

            He drove into work. The Stamford office was quiet, everyone working on their own projects. It still didn’t feel natural. Perhaps it never would. Josh was a good boss; he actually made sales and never said anything stupid or offensive. He was still learning other people’s names. Karen seemed okay, Andy was always competitive, Rich was the quiet loner, while Sarah was talkative. What bothered him the most was the receptionist – an older woman with graying hair. Every time he walked in, she glanced up, but never said anything. When transferring calls or delivering messages, it was always simple and quick.

            The opposite of Pam.

            After a quick nod hello to the receptionist, Jim walked to his desk. He turned on his computer, and after logging into the system, he opened up PostSecret. He needed to see it one more time, just checking again.

            He must have lost track of time, just staring at it, because the next thing he heard was Karen.

            “Hey Halpert, what’s that?”

            Jim quickly closed the window. “Um, nothing, just…”

            “Chill. It was just a question.”

            Jim knew it couldn’t risk opening it at work again. He didn’t want his coworkers to know that side of his life – ever.

            That night, he printed off the copy he had saved. He couldn’t go another day without looking at it. With it printed, it made it real.

            He placed it in his messenger bag, protected inside a book. It would be with him at work tomorrow, ready if he needed to read it one more time.

            Tuesday he kept glancing at his bag, resisting the urge to take out the postcard. It took all his willpower to last until lunch.

            As everyone else left their desks, Jim grabbed his bag. He knew what he had to do. He couldn’t keep just looking at the post card; he needed to free himself from the what-ifs and could-have-beens to feel some relief from the confusion in his mind. He wasn’t sure it was from Pam, but if it was, he had to take a chance. He took the postcard and stuck a post-it note on it. His message was simple – “it’s not.”

            He placed it back in his bag. He would address and stamp it tonight. With any luck, it could be on the site by Sunday.

            imagine my surprise when you loved me back