PBeesly: What’s the haps, Slim Jim?
JHalpert: Are you okay?
PBeesly: Yeppers.
JHalpert: Michael?
PBeesly: Yeah?
PBeesly: I mean who? This is Pam.
JHalpert: Michael, did you get the IT to hack Pam’s IM for you?
PBeesly: Who’s Michael?
JHalpert: Pam would still know who you are, Michael.
PBeesly: Damn it.
PBeesly has signed off.
PBeesly has signed on.
JHalpert: Michael hacked your account.
PBeesly: I know. He added himself - twice - to every group in my buddy list.
JHalpert: I am so sorry.
PBeesly: I just called the IT guy. He promises to never help Michael again.
JHalpert: Isn‘t that how he gets paid, though?
PBeesly: I think corporate would understand.
JHalpert: Touche.
-
JHalpert: Dwight moved the water cooler, didn’t he?
PBeesly: Yeah, I was the one that had to clean up the carpet.
PBeesly: Oh, joy, I get to go have a one-on-one with Michael.
JHalpert: I would kill to be you right now!
PBeesly: Did Michael hack your account, too?
JHalpert: Whoops, did I say “kill to be you”? I meant. “kill myself if I were you.” ;)
PBeesly: :-P Off I go.
PBeesly is away.
JHalpert: I love making faces on IM. :-O
Auto Response from PBeesly: Smilies are amazing! ;-) :-D ;-*
PBeesly is back from away.
PBeesly: Ugh.
JHalpert: What?
PBeesly: To words: Star Trek impression.
JHalpert: That’s three…
PBeesly: Oh God. I think being around Michael lowered my IQ.
PBeesly: Jim, ask me a hard question, quick!
JHalpert: Um… What’s the capital of Greece?
PBeesly: Athens!
JHalpert: Guy that they named sideburns after?
PBeesly: Ambrose Burnsides!
JHalpert: What is Donald Trump’s daughter’s name?
PBeesly: Ivanka!
JHalpert: 3 for 3, I think you’ll be okay.
PBeesly: Thank you.
PBeesly: Oh, no! Party planning! Saaave…
PBeesly is away.
JHalpert: Saaaave what?
Auto Response from PBeesly: …meeee!
-
PBeesly has returned from away.
JHalpert: Okay, no matter how badly your meeting went, I need to talk to you. Now.
PBeesly: You are talking to me. And I don’t want to stop playing Solitaire.
JHalpert: In person. Dwight wants to form an alliance with me.
PBeesly: Solitaire canceled.
JHalpert: Excellent.
JHalpert has signed off.
PBeesly has signed off.
-
JHalpert has signed on.
PBeesly has signed on.
PBeesly: So what were you doing talking to Dwight in the parking lot?
JH: I told him Toby and Kevin are forming an alliance. :-)
PBeesly: And?
JHalpert: He punched my car.
PBeesly: So how did you come about this alliance-forming information.
JHalpert: I pretended to talk to them about alliances and then lied to Dwight.
PBeesly: So what did you really talk about?
JHalpert: Sandwiches. :-D
PBeesly: *air high five!*
JHalpert: So how much money are you giving to Oscar’s charity thingy?
PBeesly: A dollar per mile. You?
JHalpert: 3 bucks per mile.
PBeesly: You’re so sweet I’m getting diabetes!
JHalpert: You’re so cheesy I could make you into one of my famous sandwiches. :-)
PBeesly: Lightbulb! I have a plan for the alliance scheme.
JHalpert: You are very random.
JHalpert: What is it?
PBeesly: I am going to go up to your desk and pretend that Michael was talking to me about downsizing.
JHalpert: Let the plan commence!
PBeesly is away.
JHalpert is away.
-
PBeesly is back from away.
JHalpert is back from away.
JHalpert: Oh my God. That was beautiful. Dwight is freaking out.
PBeesly: Thank you, thank you very much. What did you go talk to the cameras about?
JHalpert: Sandwiches. :-D
PBeesly: What? Tell me what you were talking about!
JHalpert: Sorry, gotta meet with Dwight. He keeps sending me morse code.
PBeesly: Sending you morse code?
JHalpert: I will copy and paste.
JHalpert:
From: DKSchrute@PennsylvaniaPaper.com
To: JHalpert@gmail.com
Subject: Secret Business.
.--- .. -- --..-- .-- . / -. . . -.. / - --- / -.. .. ... -.-. ..- ... ... / .--. .-.. .- -. ... / - --- / ... .--. -.-- / --- -. / - .... . / -.-. --- ..- .--. .-.. . / -- . . - .. -. --. / -.. ..- .-. .. -. --. / -- . .-. .. -.. .. - .... .----. ... / -... .. .-. - .... -.. .- -.-- / .--. .- .-. - -.-- .-.-.- / -.-. --- -. - .- -.-. - / -- . / .. -- -- . -.. .. .- - . .-.. -.-- / .- ..-. - . .-. / .-. . -.-. . .. ...- .. -. --. / - .... .. ... / -- . ... ... .- --. . .-.-.- / .. - / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / -. --- - / ... . .-.. ..-. -....- -.. . ... - .-. ..- -.-. - .-.-.- -.-. --- .-. -.. .. .- .-.. .-.. -.-- --..-- -.. .-- .. --. .... - .-.-.-
PBeesly: I am not even going to take the time to translate that.
JHalpert: Basically, he wants me to talk to him about a way to spy on the alliance meeting at Meredith’s party.
PBeesly: What alliance?
JHalpert: This is where you come in.
PBeesly: Come tell me in person, Dwight keeps eyeing your computer.
JHalpert: Done.
JHalpert has signed off.
PBeesly has signed off.
JHalpert has signed on.
PBeesly has signed on.
JHalpert: He’s in a box.
PBeesly: Who’s in a box?
JHalpert: You’ll just have to come find out!
PBeesly: Don’t you usually come to my desk? :-)
JHalpert: Do you want to find out?
PBeesly: …
JHalpert: Fine, I’m coming. :-P
PBeesly: :-)
PBeesly is away.
-
PBeesly is back from away.
PBeesly: Oh my God, he was in a box.
JHalpert: Now why would I lie about that?
PBeesly: I almost died laughing.
JHalpert: Glad you lived to tell the tale.
JHalpert: OH MY GOD. I have got to come talk to you. I just convinced Dwight to
JHalpert: Never mind I’ll tell you in person.
PBeesly: Hurry!
JHalpert: It’s like, four seconds away.
PBeesly: Shut up and get over here!
JHalpert has signed off.
PBeesly has signed off.
JHalpert has signed on to Mobile IM.
PBeesly has signed on to Mobile IM.
PBeesly: Hey.
JHalpert: Hi.
PBeesly: I’m really sorry about Roy. He can get kind of overprotective.
JHalpert: Yeah, kind of.
JHalpert: At least I still have my face.
PBeesly: There is that. :-)
PBeesly: Just, again. I’m really sorry.
JHalpert: Not your fault. I’m sorry, too.
PBeesly: For what?
JHalpert: Oh, um.
JHalpert: Nothing. See you tomorrow.
PBeesly: Bye, Jim.
PBeesly has signed off.
JHalpert has signed off.
Jim hit the “end” button on his phone with more force than was necessary to exit Mobile IM. He wanted to tell Pam he was sorry she had an overly aggressive fiancé who barely knew who she was. He wanted to say he was sorry he didn’t have the guts to tell her how horribly she and Roy went together, like oil and water. He almost wanted to say he was sorry he was in love with an engaged woman, but that was one thing he didn‘t think he would ever be sorry for. So he backed his car out of his Dunder Mifflin parking space and did his best to remember what it felt like to hold the receptionist’s hand for three and a half seconds.
Author's Chapter Notes:
So I am really excited about this chapter because this is going to be the first angst-ish ending for JAM. There is even a little part at the end that isn't in IMing format, so get your excited faces on! :D
The chapter title comes from Come Home by OneRepublic. (Which is a great song to listen to whilst reading or writing angst, no matter how mild said angst may be.) :)
Oh, and again, I still don't own anything. But, hey, if NBC is willing to make an offer...
The chapter title comes from Come Home by OneRepublic. (Which is a great song to listen to whilst reading or writing angst, no matter how mild said angst may be.) :)
Oh, and again, I still don't own anything. But, hey, if NBC is willing to make an offer...
Chapter End Notes:
I really hope you enjoyed it! Writing something non-IM in a fanfic is kind of a milestone for me (which is kind of sad but I don't care!) Reviews are almost - almost as good as seeing Jim "unintentionally" hold the receptionist's hand for three and a half seconds!
