PBeesly: Hola.
JHalpert: Good morning :-)
PBeesly: So, how was your Wednesday?
JHalpert: It was OK. I didn’t do much. I did, however, watch Lost.
PBeesly: Dwight watches Lost.
JHalpert: He does not.
PBeesly: It’s true, I heard him talking to Michael about it once.
JHalpert: You’re lying to torture me.
PBeesly: Would I do that, Jim?
JHalpert: If you were bored, probably.
PBeesly: Well it’s like, 9:15, so although we do work at an extremely boring office, I am not bored enough to resort to torture yet, sorry.
JHalpert: Wow. Dwight and I have something in common.
PBeesly: Something besides the Lord of the Rings thing…
JHalpert: I’m pretty sure you said you’d never speak about that again.
PBeesly: And I’m pretty sure I didn’t. :-D
JHalpert: What? Yes, you did.
PBeesly: No, I log all of my IM conversations. I can check.
PBeesly: No agreements in last week’s convos. Again, sorry.
JHalpert: What are you sorry for?
PBeesly: Well, that you’re like Dwight.
JHalpert: You wouldn’t like me if I was like Dwight. :-)
PBeesly: True, but you do have things in common.
JHalpert: As if you don’t watch Lost, too.
PBeesly: Oh, the phone’s ringing. I have to do my job, Jim. Stop distracting me!
JHalpert: Question avoider!
PBeesly is away.
-
PBeesly is back from away.
PBeesly: So, Michael really seems to like Purse Girl.
JHalpert: Isn’t her name Katie or something like that?
PBeesly: I think so. It’s kind of weird that she’s just randomly selling purses here today.
JHalpert: Well, we all have to make a living. For instance, I sell paper.
PBeesly: And I cater to the needs of a man in his forties who acts like he’s seven.
JHalpert: Exactly.
JHalpert: Except I don’t think seven-year-olds would get “that’s what she said.”
PBeesly: A seven-year-old would probably pretend to get it to get attention.
JHalpert: You got me there.
PBeesly: Oh, poor Purse Girl. Michael is going to harass her.
JHalpert: I can sort of see into the conference room. She looks genuinely frightened.
PBeesly: Michael looks genuinely frightening.
JHalpert: But doesn’t he always. :-) Whoops, gotta go, I have a call.
JHalpert is away.
-
RAnderson has signed on.
*New IM with RAnderson from PBeesly*
PBeesly: Am I pretty?
RAnderson: What? Babe, I’m just on the computer to find out the number for Cujino’s so me, Madge, and the guys can get pizza. IM automatically pops up then I turn on the computer.
PBeesly: Yeah, okay, sorry to interrupt.
RAnderson: No problem.
RAnderson has signed off.
-
JHalpert is back from away.
JHalpert: Holy crap.
PBeesly: What?
JHalpert: Holy shit, even. This deserves cursing.
PBeesly: What??
JHalpert: You won’t believe what Larry, one of the camera guys, just told me.
PBeesly: Okay, if the next thing you IM me is not a detailed explanation of what you are cussing about, I will stop putting jelly beans on my desk.
JHalpert: Come on, you wouldn’t do that to me. :-D
JHalpert: Okay, okay, put the jelly beans back, I’ll tell you.
JHalpert: So, I went into the break room to get a grape soda, and Larry was standing there drinking a Coke and he goes: “Jim, I’m really not supposed to show anybody any footage until we’re finished shooting the whole thing, so don’t tell anyone, but you really should see this. I know how much you love making fun of Dwight.”
PBeesly: Oh, this is going to be good.
JHalpert: So he plays back Dwight’s talking head that he’d filmed, like, five minutes ago, and oh my God, Pam, you won’t believe it.
PBeesly: What?
JHalpert: He described everything he liked about Katie and it was so creepy, but hilarious at the same time. The phrase “thirsty Schrute babies” was involved.
PBeesly: Wow. I am never going to be able to sleep, ever again.
JHalpert: Yes, apparently, the following are a list of some of Dwight’s turn-ons.
PBeesly: You are not honestly going to tell me this, are you?
JHalpert: 1. “Creamy” skin
PBeesly: Oh my God.
JHalpert: 2. Straight teeth
PBeesly: I do not want to know this!
JHalpert: 3. Curly hair
When Larry showed Jim the clip, Jim's eyebrows raised in surprise. Apparently, he and Dwight shared the same taste in more than just movies and TV.
JHalpert: Do the qualities in that list sound like anybody we know?
PBeesly: Um, yeah… The Purse Girl, duh.
JHalpert: Actually, it probably sounds more like…
PBeesly: Oh no, you are not about to say me.
PBeesly: You are not about to say I possess the qualities that qualify as Dwight’s turn-ons.
JHalpert: It does sound like you, Beesly.
JHalpert: If you weren’t with Roy, would you take a shot at Dwight? ;-)
PBeesly: Ahh! Don’t even joke! I ate a big breakfast, and now I am fairly certain it’s all coming back up.
JHalpert: I’m sorry, I know that’s probably very traumatizing.
PBeesly: Like, years-of-therapy-to-fix-it traumatizing.
JHalpert: I can ask Michael to refer you to his therapist.
PBeesly: Michael would probably be more stable if he was in therapy.
PBeesly: I would pay for Michael to go to therapy.
PBeesly: In fact, I’m pretty sure the entire office would chip in.
JHalpert: I would.
PBeesly: At least Katie provides a distraction for Michael.
JHalpert: Yeah, I wouldn’t expect him to harass you today.
PBeesly: God willing.
PBeesly: Yay, lunch break!
JHalpert: See you in the break room in five, Beesly. :-)
PBeesly has signed off.
JHalpert has signed off.
-
PBeesly has signed on.
JHalpert has signed on.
PBeesly: I can’t believe Roy.
JHalpert: That was definitely not his most sensitive moment.
PBeesly: And Understatement of the Year goes to Jim Halpert.
JHalpert: Wait, the Dundies were like, six months ago…
PBeesly: You’re not funny.
JHalpert: Yes, I am.
PBeesly: :-(
JHalpert: I know how to cheer you up.
PBeesly: And how do you plan to do that?
JHalpert: You’ll just have to see, Beesly…
JHalpert is away.
PBeesly: Is it a prank on Dwight??? :-D
Auto Response from JHalpert: Patience is a virtue. ;-)
-
JHalpert is back from away.
PBeesly: Oh, my God. That was amazing.
JHalpert: *takes virtual bow*
PBeesly: Nice Dwight voice, by the way. My ears are still recovering.
JHalpert: Thank you, my vocal cords are still recovering.
PBeesly: Oh, no. Michael wants me in his office.
JHalpert: That’s what she said.
PBeesly: Gross. You’re not helpful.
JHalpert: I like it that way. :-)
PBeesly has signed off.
-
PBeesly has signed on.
PBeesly: Jim, he wanted to know what I thought about futons.
JHalpert: Excuse me?
PBeesly: Sorry, we need to talk in person. It’s too good for IM.
JHalpert: Nothing’s too good for IM.
PBeesly: If you don’t come over here, I’ll go to your desk. It’s just priceless.
JHalpert: I’ll be waiting.
PBeesly: See you in five seconds.
PBeesly has signed off.
-
PBeesly has signed on.
PBeesly: Yay, it’s four fifty-nine!
JHalpert: You said it, Beesly.
PBeesly: Have fun with Katie.
JHalpert: Have fun with Roy.
PBeesly: See you later.
JHalpert: Bye, Pam.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Okay, so here's the end of the season one installment of Communication. There are some new things in this one. :D I actually wrote Roy into this one a little and there's a little non-IM part that I managed to add somewhere in the middle. (It's in italics.) I hope I got Roy's voice right, and I hope you continue to enjoy reading these as much as I enjoy writing them!
Inspiration for the title comes from Bridge and Tunnel Authority, a great ska song by the ever-awesome Less Than Jake. :) The title is kind of referring to Pam getting all jealous that Jim is seeing someone that's not her. ;)
Inspiration for the title comes from Bridge and Tunnel Authority, a great ska song by the ever-awesome Less Than Jake. :) The title is kind of referring to Pam getting all jealous that Jim is seeing someone that's not her. ;)
Chapter End Notes:
Oh, and in case you were wondering why Katy's name is spelled wrong throughout the chapter, I assumed that Jim and Pam didn't know that her name was the less traditional spelling of that nickname. Because I'm anal with details like that. :D
Also, I don't mean to toot my own horn here, but I agree with my fictional Jim on this one: Nothing's too good for IM. :D
Reading reviews is like watching Jim and Pam and their subtle flirting - it's totally fun. And you wouldn't deprive me of fun, would you? :(
Not reviewing is like Roy tickling Pam to get her to forgive him - it's totally lame. ;)
Also, I don't mean to toot my own horn here, but I agree with my fictional Jim on this one: Nothing's too good for IM. :D
Reading reviews is like watching Jim and Pam and their subtle flirting - it's totally fun. And you wouldn't deprive me of fun, would you? :(
Not reviewing is like Roy tickling Pam to get her to forgive him - it's totally lame. ;)
