Jim had the alarm set for 1 AM. Even though he'd gone to bed at 5 PM (pretty much right after he got back from that awful going-away party), waking up that next morning still sucked. A lot. He knew he had a three hour drive ahead of him to the airport. It was going to be a long day. He was really glad he had packed everything ahead of time. (There was an advantage to not having much of a life.)He was putting on a pot of coffee so he could have some caffeine on the way, when he heard a knock at the door. Squinting, he trudged over to the door and opened it to the lens of a commercial video camera in his face. "What?" he asked. "Damn it, I was going away to get away from this."
"Well, no such luck, buddy," the cameraman said as he came through the door. "I was just hired to tail you on your trip. Apparently, this is for that Life in an American Office reality show?"
"Yes, yes," Jim said, shutting the door. He headed back to the kitchen, cameraman in tow. "What's your name?"
"Mike," the guy said, holding his hand out. Jim shook it. Mike handed him a portable microphone. "Unfortunately, they told me that you're supposed to wear this all the time you're there, too. I guess it's part of your contract..."
"Yeah, I'm aware," Jim said. He rolled his eyes as he clipped on the microphone and stuffed the battery unit in his pocket. Jim hadn't actually realized that they could trail him on vacation, but what the hell? His life was already ruined, anyway. Now everyone was going to watch him run away from his problems in Australia. Fantastic. "I hate to disappoint you guys," he said, looking at the camera, "but I kind of doubt you're going to see much more than me drowning my sorrows in some Australian pubs. Maybe I'll get lucky and meet someone." He made a face. "Of course, she'd then live on the other side of the world, which would just about be my luck, wouldn't it? I guess it's no worse than falling in love with someone who's about to get married."
Mike shrugged.
Jim poured himself some coffee into a travel mug. "Want some coffee?"
Mike nodded. "I could use it. I didn't expect to start here at 1 AM today. That's the biz for you, though. You go where the work takes you."
Jim smiled at him. "Yep. And you, my friend, are going on a trip to Australia with me. Should be interesting." Jim gulped down half the cup of coffee too quickly. His throat burned as the hot liquid went down. Caffeine was essential here. He just needed to stay awake until they got on the plane.
---
Jim had to be on the plane by now. Pam looked at her watch. 7:26 AM. She wondered where he was at right now. He had probably just left. She knew he had to be at the airport by 5 AM, so his flight probably left around 7 or 7:30 AM. Ever since she had woken up this morning (in a haze - she must have slept 12 hours!), a feeling of dread was building in her stomach. She left for work early, separately from Roy. She told him she needed to catch up on work since she was going to be taking the next week-and-a-half off after today for her wedding and honeymoon.
Ugh. Just what she didn't need to think about right now. Especially after yesterday's blow-up.
She hated the fact that she'd left Jim angry. Now he was going to Australia - he was missing her wedding - and then moving to Stamford. Not that they were a world apart, but how often were they really going to visit each other? Maybe sometimes on the weekends? Would he even want to see her again? Would he always be bitter about the fact that she'd married Roy?
Ever since that day Michael had told her that Jim hadn't actually gotten over his crush for her - that he still had feelings for her that night that Roy set the wedding date - she'd been getting sick to her stomach. And that stomach ache had gotten slightly worse every day. And today - she felt like she wanted to throw up, the pain was so strong.
Jim had told her that he was in love with her. Not that he "loved her," but that he was in love with her, present tense. That was just over three weeks ago. She had told her mom that she was questioning whether to still get married to Roy. Then Jim had kissed her, and she had kissed him back (!) That felt unbelievable. It was electrifying. She felt him throughout her entire body, her stomach did flips ... she'd wondered for so long what it would feel like to kiss Jim, she couldn't help but kiss him back.
It wasn't until she walked out of the office that night when the guilt began to set in. She'd never cheated on Roy, ever. Ever. She had never even seriously thought about it until that moment. But the way Jim looked at her -- it made her want to rip his clothes off -- and feel what it would be like for him to wrap those tender arms of his around her bare, naked body and make love to her the way she'd always been fantasizing about.
In fact, ever since that day, she fantasized about Jim every single night. Right after Roy felt asleep, she lay next to him on the bed, completely still, closed her eyes, and let the pictures fill her mind. They were wonderful. Jim was wonderful. He cared about her the same way in bed that he did in real life. He never did anything she didn't want to do. He treasured every part of her body - every curve, every fold, every angle, as he slowly went up and down, kissing and caressing her everywhere.
She blushed as she realized she was getting aroused thinking about it.
She had to call Jim before she went into work. Even though she knew he couldn't answer, she could leave him a voice mail. This was ideal. She imagined he'd probably have a layover in Los Angeles. At least she'd get to really apologize before he left the states for two weeks. Who knew if he'd be able to call her? Oh, dear.
She opened her address book and pressed his speed dial number.
"Hi, Jim, it's Pam. It's Thursday morning, and I'm about to go into work. I have no idea what I'm going to do without you. Dwight and Michael are going to drive me up a wall. I didn't get to tell you this yesterday, but you are the only thing that makes work worthwhile sometimes. I just want you to know that. I am really, really, really going to miss you."
She paused.
"Speaking of yesterday, I want to apologize for my behavior. I never should have slapped you, and I shouldn't have let you leave angry. I shouldn't have left you angry. You're very important to me - more than you'll ever know. I, um..." She stopped talking once she realized there was a camera pointing directly at her through her driver's side window. "I hope you'll call me back. I hope you'll forgive me." She hung up quickly, realizing there was nothing more she could safely say to him right now.
Not now, maybe not ever. Certainly not if she was getting married to Roy. Every minute that went by, though, she was less and less sure what was going to happen.
She took a deep breath before getting out of the car, smiling tightly at the camera. "Good morning to you, too," she said sarcastically.
---
"Spamalot!" Michael bound into the office, way too cheerful for her to handle that morning. She ignored him until came up to the desk and pounded his fist on it. "Pam!"
She jumped. Giving Michael an irritated look, she said, "What?"
"Oooh. Testy, testy. Still that time of the month? I know how you women can be when you're ridin' the Crimson Wave."
Pam glared at him.
"You know, when Aunt Flo's in town...?"
Pam continued to glare at him.
"Erm, yeah," Michael said. "Any messages?"
"Yes, Jan called," Pam said.
"Ah, the lovely Ms. Levinson, yessss?"
"Apparently, she heard about the party you threw last night--"
"Of course," Michael said, beaming. "I invited her down to join the festivities, but she said she was tied up... indefinitely. Whatever that means."
Pam continued as though Michael had not interrupted her: "And she said that she absolutely cannot approve the charges. Oh, and you're supposed call her immediately."
"Right-O. We'll get everything sorted out, no problem. Jan and I, we're a team." Michael grinned at the camera as he bounded into his office.
Finally some peace, Pam thought. Michael was too much to deal with this morning. She should have just called in sick today. Or forever.
---
Jim had slept the entire way from New York City to Los Angeles. It was fantastic. He felt much more refreshed than he had several hours ago, and was less annoyed upon meeting Mike as he disembarked the plane to catch the connecting flight. "We have to switch to the international terminal, which is at the other end of the airport," Jim said to him. "I think we'll have to book it so we don't miss the connection."
As he was dashing across the airport, trying to follow the confusing signs -- where the hell was this place? -- He got the sense to pull his cell phone out of his carry-on. He figured he'd turn it on for just a minute - just to see if he had any messages. It certainly wouldn't surprise him if Michael left him a message or two. Ever since Michael had gotten a hold of Jim's cell phone number (which Michael never would have gotten if the company hadn't been monitoring all their e-mails), he was calling at least once a day to leave ridiculous messages, sometimes work related, sometimes with bad (inappropriate?) jokes, and sometimes just to say something that only Michael would say. Something needy. Or dumb.
He wondered if his mom had called. She knew he was leaving for Australia today. She'd asked that Jim bring her back an "authentic" boomerang. He wasn't exactly sure what she was planning to do with that, but, you know - when your mom asks, you can't say no, can you?
Mostly, though, he hoped Pam had called. As heartbroken as he felt, there was nothing more he wanted right now than to hear her voice. This wasn't like getting over a high school crush. He had been attracted to Pam for four years. He'd been in love with her for at least two of those four years. He didn't want to think about the wedding (two days away!) or stupid Roy or her denial of his feelings for her. He just wanted her. Her voice, her words ... Jim knew, somehow -- she had to love him. He had felt it ...
Damn it. He was getting pissed off all over again thinking about it. It was so damn unfair. Why did his life suck so much?
"Eight messages? Crud," he said, feeling his stomach jump a little bit as he pressed "OK" on the phone. He put on the speaker so he could listen to the messages as he and Mike dashed through the terminals. They were really running late...
"Message received: Wednesday, June seventh, eight o'clock PM," the phone announced.
"Jiiiimmmmm... it's your buddy, Michael. I'm missing you already! Can't believe you're leaving us." (He was obviously blasted at this point. Jim wondered if he had stayed at Farley's, or gone somewhere else.) "Gotta come back and hang with the crew -- you may not work for Scranton anymore, but you're always welcome back in the office, just so you know..." BEEP.
"Message received: Wednesday, June seventh, eight-oh-five PM."
"Michael, I don't want to.... Jim, it's Dwight. I ... Michael, I don't want to talk to him..." BEEP.
Jim skipped through the next four messages, which were, again, more Michael and Dwight nonsense.
"Message received: Thursday, June seventh, seven-oh-two AM."
"Hello, Jim. It's your mother. I wanted to try and get you before you left this morning, but you must have already taken off. I just wanted to tell you that I love you, and to be safe. You're traveling alone, which isn't the best idea, you really should have gone with someone, but, you know, I only worry because I love you. I know everything will turn out okay in the end. I hope you and Pam are still talking." Jim looked up sheepishly. "I love you, Jimmy. Call me if you can!" BEEP.
"Message received: Thursday, June seventh, seven-thirty-two AM."
"Hi, Jim, it's Pam. It's Thursday morning..." Jim gasped, and quickly took the phone off speaker, pressing the phone up to his ear. He stopped in his tracks until Mike shoved him.
"We're going to miss the flight!"
"Yeah... yeah," Jim said, running to catch up as he listened to the message. I can't believe she called me. I can't believe it, he thought, pressing the "save" button on the message. Just in case she didn't call again.
They arrived at the gate just on time. Once they were in line to board on the plane, Mike trained the camera on him. "So, I heard something about you and Pam... that was her on the phone?"
"Uh, yeah, she felt me a message," Jim said.
"But you're going on this trip to get away from her, huh?"
"Well, she is getting married in two days," Jim explained.
An airline agent tapped Mike on the shoulder. "Sir, you're going to have to shut off your camera. You can't run that on the plane."
Mike went to turn off the camera, but not before he caught the hint of a smile on Jim's face as they boarded.
---
"I honestly think this is going to be the longest day ever," Pam admitted as she was sitting in the Truth Booth. "Michael has decided to share more jokes with me because he doesn't have Jim around to laugh at them and it sucks."
"Are you nervous about the wedding?"
"Um..." Her eyes became very wide. "Yes, yes, I am."
She did not admit the fact that she'd been having doubts about whether the wedding was even going to happen. Just the fact that she was even considering not going through with this ... the wedding was two days away.
"Are you excited?"
"Um, yes, yes," she answered, too quickly. "This is the day every girl dreams of, isn't it?" She smiled tightly, staring at the camera. The pause that followed seemed to go on forever.
---
Since Jim had slept through the entire continental flight, he felt wide awake and restless on the second leg over the ocean. He had to admit, their accommodations were pretty nice. Apparently, they give you a little more room when you're going to be on a plane for fourteen hours. His eyes widened at that thought. Fourteen hours. He had never been on a plane for that long before. He'd brought a few magazines, some books, his laptop, and his iPod.
The week before he'd left, he'd downloaded a CD's worth of Postal Service songs and Johnny Cash singles. The two had a very different sound, but a similar sense of melancholy to their music. Right now he couldn't stop listening to "Nothing Better," by The Postal Service. It was such a sad song. It made him think of himself. Especially this part: "So please back away and let me go / I can't my darling I love you so..." And then: "Tell me am I right / to think that there could be nothing better / than making you my bride and slowly growing old together."
It made him feel less alone in the world. But certainly not less lonely. He sighed loudly, sinking lower into the seat.
---
"My mom is coming again today!" Pam was sitting at her desk, rearranging the position of her pen cup and message pad. "She's coming out this weekend for the wedding," Pam explained to the camera. "I really wish Jim was here; he wanted to talk to her last time and I realized Mom never got the chance to meet him."
She frowned, looking down at her desk suddenly.
"Maybe another time."
---
"I'm really looking forward to this weekend." Kevin was sitting in the Truth Booth. He opened up his button-down shirt to reveal a T-shirt that said, "Scrantonicity" on it. "This is a really big gig for us. This may be the weekend that Scrantonicity makes its break." He paused. Slowly, a smile broke out on his face. "If our band gets really big, I might have to quit working here."
That thought seemed to make him really happy.
---
"So, yes, I did get invited to the wedding," Michael Scott grinned, leaning back in his chair. "Of course, I expected it. I mean, we're not just a boss-employee relationship; I'm almost like a father to her, in a way. Except that I don't have to pretend to not find her attractive." Michael laughed loudly. "Just don't tell her fiancé that! Ha!"
"Are you bringing anyone?"
"Am I bringing anyone? Yes, I am. I invited Carole, and surprisingly, she said yes--" he winked at this, "I have to say, it's nice to have someone to bring. It sucks sometimes being alone, at a wedding. Kind of reeks of desperation. Don't really want to come off like Dwight, for instance."
---
"Am I going to the wedding?" Dwight asked. "Yes. I admit, I was a bit surprised to receive the invitation from Pam, but I do like Roy. So I decided to go."
"Are you bringing anyone?"
"Am I bringing anyone? Well, the invitation did say, 'Dwight Schrute and Guest,' but, you know, my 'guest' already has plans." Dwight smiled wickedly, stifling a laugh.
Everyone in the office knew that Dwight's "guest" was Angela. She was invited separately.
"I will probably attend alone. I know ... certain people that are going to be there, so I won't really be going alone..." Dwight thought for a second. "Is Michael going?"
"Yes."
"Yes!" Dwight said, pumping his fist. "Excellent."
---
"Michael is driving me up a wall. He won't leave me alone," Pam hissed, peeking over the top of her desk to see if Michael was still in his office. "He keeps asking me questions about the wedding -- asking me if I'm sure about everything, am I nervous, it's a big decision, etcetera. Of course I know what I'm doing. I've been waiting almost ten years for this day. I don't know why he keeps bothering me."
"Pamela Anderson!"
Pam gave the camera a look. "I mean, of course I know why -- it's Michael. That was a rhetorical question."
She grimaced as Michael came bounding up to her desk, smiling at the camera as he did so. "I, uh... just had a quick question for you, my bosom-y friend."
Pam looked up again as if to say, 'Help me!'
"So, uh... what's the dress code for this wedding? Monkey suits? Shirt-and-tie? Nice sweater? I don't know how, uh, formal you guys would choose to go, especially considering Roy, working in the warehouse, he's probably not a big suit-kinda-guy." Michael laughed at that.
Pam didn't. "I think most people are going to be wearing suits, Michael," she said.
"Great, great," Michael said. "Just wanted to, uh, make sure, you know --- didn't want to stick out like a sore thumb, or anything."
Michael, Pam, and the camera turned to look at Dwight, who today was wearing a mustard-colored short-sleeve button-down shirt with a very colorful Star Trek-themed tie. Pam smiled politely at him. "Sure."
At that moment, the door to the office opened, and Pam's mother came in. Pam seemed ecstatic for the distraction.
"Mom!" she said, jumping up.
"Pam!" she said, coming over to hug her daughter.
Next to them, Michael was loudly clearing his throat. He looked expectantly at Pam. "Are you going to, er, introduce me?"
Pam turned and rolled her eyes so Michael wouldn't see her. She turned back and said, "Oh, yeah -- I think I introduced you last time, but you were on the phone. Mom, this is Michael Scott, my boss..."
"Assistant Regional Manager for Dunder-Mifflin," Michael said, taking her hand and kissing it.
This seemed to make Mrs. Beesly slightly uncomfortable. "Well," she said, pulling her hand away, "it's nice to meet you, formally. I assume we're going to see you this weekend?"
"Oh, yes. Wouldn't miss it for the world!" Michael smiled brightly. "I will be bringing my realtor -- girlfriend -- er, my girlfriend, who also happens to be my realtor, Carole."
"You didn't tell me she was your girlfriend, Michael," Pam said. She looked up with renewed interest.
"Well, you know, we didn't want to make a big scene of it, but, yeah, I guess, you know, we're dating exclusively now. It was a hard decision, too, because, well, you know, I've got women swooning all over me. Eventually, you have to settle down, you know?"
Pam and her mom both raised their eyebrows at each other. Pam said: "Sure."
"Are you going to be a while, yet?" Mrs. Beesly asked. "I can go do something else..."
"Oh, no, no, no --" Michael cut in. "This is your big weekend. I'll let you off early." Pam looked very pleased to hear this. "But just this once," Michael said. "Wouldn't want corporate to think I'm getting too soft."
"Yeah, that won't happen," Pam said.
---
Pam gathered her stuff and walked out to the elevator with her mom.
"Where's Jim today?" Mrs. Beesly asked.
Pam had not gotten the heart to tell her mom the whole story yet. (Especially not the part where he'd decided to go to Australia the weekend of her wedding.) She also hadn't told her mom that Jim was leaving their office. She knew now that her mom was there; she wouldn't be able to lie anymore.
"Can we go get something to eat? I have a lot to tell you."
---
"Pam, I can't believe you. How could you have gone this long without telling me this?"
Pam was hunched over in the booth they were sitting in at Farley's. She sipped the frozen strawberry margarita in her hand slowly, avoiding having to continue the conversation.
"I knew you told me about that night up to the point where he said he loved you," she raised her eyebrows at Pam, "but you never told me you kissed him. I don't know what to say."
"Well, he kissed me," Pam clarified. "I just happened to kind of, um, kiss back, I guess." She looked and felt completely mortified as she explained this to her mom.
"But you told me nothing happened that night!"
"Well," Pam said, swallowing. "Nothing did happen. I called him the next day and told him that I was still getting married and we needed to just be friends."
"What'd he say?" Mrs. Beesly was leaning across the table, grasping her daughter's wrists. "What happened?"
"Well, he said that he was transferring to Stamford. And I already knew he was going to Australia during the wedding." She breathed out slowly, willing herself not to cry. "I ... don't know what to do. I never wanted this to happen."
"You never wanted what?"
"I never wanted Jim to go away. I never wanted to lose him. I don't even know if I'm making the right decision," Pam said, starting to cry.
Her mom looked at her. "What do you mean?" she asked softly.
"I mean," Pam said, gasping for breath between sobs, "I don't know if I should marry Roy. I don't know; I've been waiting so long for this. We've been dating for over ten years, Mom, I should want this, but when I saw Jim leave, I felt like maybe I'd never see him again, even though I know I'll see him again, but it won't ever be the same 'cause I'll be married and he's going to hate me forever and I don't want to lose him." She grabbed a napkin off the table and blew her nose.
"How do you feel about Jim?"
"I don't know, Mom ... I mean, I told you," she sniffed loudly, "he's my best friend. He listens to me, he hangs out with me; I always felt like he'd do anything for me. And I knew for a while that he liked me -- I mean, I didn't want to admit it, but I knew it, you know how you just know?" she asked, looking up at her Mom, her eyes puffy and red. "I knew, but I didn't want to believe it or think about it because I didn't want to ruin what Roy and I had. But now it's two days before our wedding and I don't know. And why did I have to think about this now?" She started sobbing again, grabbing another napkin to cover her face with as her shoulders shook violently.
Her mom came over to her side of the booth, and took her daughter into her arms. "It's okay, sweetie. You shouldn't ever go through with anything you don't want to do. Marriage is a lifelong commitment. It's not something to be taken lightly."
"I know, Mom!" Pam said, leaning on her head on her mom's shoulder. "I don't know what to do."
"Do you want to be married to Roy?"
"I don't know," she said. "I mean, I thought I did ... I wanted it for so many years, I waited so long for this day to come." She swallowed hard, and then looked up at her mom. "But now, now that Jim left, I mean, I feel like I lost a part of myself. I miss him, and... I think I love him."
"You think?"
"Oh, I don't know. I don't want to do this, I don't want to call off the wedding, but I just don't know, I don't know..."
"You don't know, or you don't want to hurt Roy? Is that it? You love Jim, but you don't want to hurt Roy."
"No," she whispered.
"And now you think you don't want to marry Roy."
"No," she whispered again.
"Come here," she said, taking her daughter into her arms again. "It'll be all right. I'll help you take care of everything. It'll be fine."
Mrs. Beesly paid for the drinks and they left Farley's.
---
Jim had become so used to narrating his life at the office, he often found himself doing it outside the office without thinking about it. In this case, he almost started telling his seatmate (a fifty-year old widow named Janice from Chicago) about the movie they were going to watch. As soon as he opened his mouth, though, he caught himself and shut it again.
Janice looked at him strangely. "What?" she asked.
"Oh, nothing," Jim said sheepishly. Embarrassed, he quickly changed the subject. "So, uh - what are you doing in Australia?"
"I'm meeting my Internet boyfriend," Janice told him. She smiled mischievously. "We've been having cyber-sex for three months, now."
Jim found himself unconsciously looking for the camera again. When he didn't find it, he turned back to her. "That's great," he said, nodding.
---
"Mom. This is serious. What am I going to do? I invited everyone I know to this wedding. I can't cancel it now."
Mrs. Beesly was driving while Pam sat in the passenger side, head in her hands.
"Sure you can. You don't just have a wedding because you're too embarrassed to cancel it." They were at a stoplight. Pam's mom turned to look at her daughter, who was now staring out the window, her cheeks streaked and stained with tears. "Don't make the same mistake your Aunt Carolyn did."
Pam's Aunt Carolyn had met a guy on vacation while drunk (she had a history of drinking problems, anyway), and had apparently agreed to marry the guy. She was too embarrassed to admit that she couldn't remember the proposal or saying "yes," for that matter. So, she married him, mainly out of spite towards her skeptical family. Needless to say, the marriage had ended badly. Lucky for Carolyn, the break-up happened soon enough that they were able to do an annulment rather than having to go through a full-blown divorce.
Pam turned and looked at her mother. "Do you think I'm getting married for the wrong reasons? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"
"I'm not you, Pam. Only you can decide if you're doing the right thing. It sounds to me like you're not so sure you are, though. Even if you change your mind later ... you can't rush into something like this."
"I actually think Roy might agree with you on that," Pam said, and in spite of herself, cracked a smile. "How ironic."
Mrs. Beesly smiled as well. "I just want you to be happy, Pam. If you're not sure about it, don't do it."
"I know, Mom, I know. But ten years... ten years of my life, down the drain. I was engaged for almost four years, Mom. It's just... it's hard to just throw that all away, just like that. I don't even know if Jim would take me, after everything I put him through..." She started shaking again.
"He'd have to be pretty dumb to turn you down after you gave up your wedding for him. Especially if he really does love you."
She swallowed hard. "Yeah," she said, looking up at her mom again. "Um... can we not go back to the apartment? I ... don't think I can see Roy right now."
"We'll go back to my hotel, Pam. I want you to lay down when we get back there and think about things, okay? Whatever you decide is okay by me, and I'll do whatever I have to do, you hear me?"
Pam nodded.
---
"So, yeah, the reason I'm going to Australia is because I'm in love with a woman I work with and she's getting married this weekend to another guy we work with. I couldn't be there for the wedding..." Jim's chin wrinkled as he frowned, trying not to let himself get too upset.
"I'm so sorry," Janice said, holding his arm.
"Yeah, and I'm leaving the job because ... there's no future for me there. She made her choice, and I wasn't it. So now I'm going to the other side of the world to try and run away from her. And it sucks because no matter how far I go, I'll never be able to forget her and I'll never be able to stop loving her. She is ... the most important person in my life." When he looked at Janice, his eyes were moist. He turned and looked out the window as the tear came down his cheek.
"Jim, dear. Let me tell you a story. I already told you that I'm a widow. I was married to my husband Hank for twenty-eight years. We got married when we were 18. He was the love of my life. I couldn't see my life without him in it. Then, about six years ago, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. By the time we caught it, it was inoperable. Two years later, he passed away.
"I thought I would never get over it. I didn't go to work for six months. I pretty much didn't leave my house for six months. My friends finally convinced me that I had plenty of life ahead of me, and I needed to get back out there; that life goes on. I saw a therapist for a while - in fact, I still see one. It helped a lot, just to have someone to talk to about what you're feeling, without suffering judgment or scrutiny, you know? In the next few months, I saw my life starting to come back. I was working again full-time, I was hanging out with my friends; I was even trying to meet new people.
"Sure, I never forgot Hank. I never forgot what he felt like, how he made me feel, I never stopped missing him. But time makes wounds hurt a lot less, and as time's gone on, it's gotten easier for me. It'll be easier for you, too. You're doing the right thing, trying to move on. That's all you can do. That, and pray. The good Lord was probably the only thing that kept me from trying to join Hank in heaven." She smiled at Jim.
Jim nodded. "I appreciate that. I just hoped ... I hoped so bad that she'd change her mind. I mean, God --" Jim put his hand over his eyes, rubbing them. "It's so frustrating ... I came so close, I felt like. I just feel like she's getting married for the wrong reasons. That's why this is so hard. I feel like -- what if I did something else -- was there something more I could have done to convince her to choose me?" Jim rubbed his nose and sniffed.
Janice rubbed his arm. "Hang in there. And pray." She shrugged. "I think everything happens for a reason, even if it doesn't make sense now."
Author's Chapter Notes:
Jim leaves for Australia, while Pam thinks about the wedding. Her mom arrives, and they sit down for a serious chat.
