He saw her parents walk in first. They smiled at him and her mom kissed him on the cheek and her dad patted him on the back. He wondered if either of them would be quite so happy after the big announcement.
"Pam's not here yet?" She asked.
"She is. Just ran to the ladies room."
"So what did you say this was for?" Her dad seemed anxious.
"I, umm well, I hadn't seen you two in awhile and I know Pam and Roy haven’t had time to make the drive either so..."
"Oh, thank God. We thought Pam was going to tell us that she was engaged."
"As soon as you said your parents would be joining us I thought for sure."
Jim nervously looked for Pam and instead saw the waiter.
"Excuse me, can you bring us two bottles of Shiraz." The Beeslys were going to need it.
Pam walked out of the bathroom, immediately hearing her dad laughing even over the dinner rush. Her face fell when she didn't see Roy sitting at the table and the Halperts already sitting next to her parents. She went around greeting everyone, finally stopping at Jim and sitting next to him.
"No Roy?" She leaned into him to whisper.
"No. It's just 7 now though. How are you doing? You were gone for awhile."
"Yeah, I'm just nervous."
He reached his hand over to hers under the table and gave it a little squeeze. He went to pull away when her other hand covered his. Her hands were shaking and having Jim's hand in between her wasn't really stopping them from shaking, but it was a least nice to know that she had someone there for her.
Fifteen minutes later they were ordering and Pam kept stealing glances at her phone.
"I'll be back," Jim said to the table.
He jogged outside and called Roy. It went to voicemail right away and he didn't know if he should be worried or pissed.
"Where the hell are you? Call me back." He felt like throwing his phone at wall.
She looked up at him hopefully when he entered the restaurant.
"He's on his way," he murmured as he sat.
Why did he lie? It wasn't helping him at all to make Roy seem like a better guy but telling her the truth wouldn't help her either. Maybe Roy would do something right and show up.
"Did you get a hold of Roy?" His mom asked.
He nodded. "Yep, he got stuck at work. He'll be here soon."
He couldn't stop his mouth from spewing out excuses for his brother. But an hour later everyone was finishing up the last of their food and drinks and his excuses were biting him in the ass.
Jim's dad was apologizing to Pam and her parents while Jim silently sat. "I swear if Roy didn't have his head attached he'd forget it at home."
Pam's dad gave a hearty laugh knowing that he wasn't joking about his son.
Jim reached for the bill and slid his credit card between it but Pam's hand grabbed it when he put it on the edge of the table.
"Roy was supposed to pay for dinner," her voice cracked. She reached for her purse.
The table went silent and her dad immediately reached for his wallet not wanting to see the tears in his daughter's eyes fall.
"I got it," Jim said. He motioned for the waiter.
"The dinner was wonderful Jim," her mother chimed in.
"Thank you, really," his mother added.
He reached for her hand again under the table but she pulled away this time. She stood first and everyone followed suit. He hung back taking one final look at his phone. Roy was the biggest idiot he knew.
She had plastered on a smile outside, but all she wanted to do was yell at someone.
"There's a craft fair next Saturday at the fair grounds. Maybe you and Jim could drive up and Jim and Dad could go to a ballgame."
"I'll think about it. If not, I'm sure Jim will go either way."
"I'm sorry honey," her mom said as she pulled her into a hug.
Jim watched as she plastered that fake smile on again. She had it down to an art.
He unlocked her door but she had yet to acknowledge him. He cleared his throat when he started up the car but she continued to stare down at her lap.
"I'm sorry." She didn't look over at him. "I should have told you that he didn't pick up."
She laughed and he gave her a confused look.
"Why do you lie for him and then apologize for the things he does? HUH?"
"Because I hate seeing you disappointed. I hate it more than anything in the world and he always seems to be disappointing you," he yelled back
They were quiet all the way to his apartment. She was speechless. He was right. It was always Jim and not Roy that was doing something to spare her feelings.
He expected her to get out of the car and get into hers right away but she walked with him to his door, her way of apologizing for yelling at him even though he completely deserved it for trying to cover for Roy.
"Sorry," he said.
She shrugged and sulked over to a chair.
"I can't do this anymore," she quietly said.
"What?"
"I'm going to give him his ring back."
He wanted to smile, kiss her, thank God. Instead he kneeled down in front of her and held her hands. He leaned on her legs, putting his head on her knees, and she combed her fingers through his hair.
"What do you think he was doing?"
"Well, it's Friday. So he was probably getting drunk and playing poker."
"I like to imagine that he has another girlfriend. I feel less stupid about getting stood up for a girl than a group of drunk guys."
"Don't say that."
"It's the truth though. I mean, he didn't plan any of tonight, you did, and he can't even make enough time show up. It was his idea! He just had to show up."
She stared down at him with watery eyes and he felt a twinge of panic because that small voice in his head that was always telling him to kiss Pam was now yelling at him to do it.
"I need to go home."
"You can stay here tonight," he rattled off. He felt like tonight was his first and last chance to tell her how he felt and how much Roy didn’t deserve her.
"If I stay can we not say Roy's name for the rest of the night?"
"Absolutely."
He stood and lifted her up into a hug until she was dangling above the floor.
"Do you think I'm making a mistake?"
"No." Betraying your brother for the girl you love, that was a new low. He put her back down and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.
"We live together. All of my stuff is his stuff. He's the only person I've ever been with."
"You can stay here as long as you need to.”
How could he talk her out of rethinking ending this and still be a good brother? Maybe he just shouldn't bother because eventually he’d have to choose one of them. He still had his arms around her and all he had to do was dip his head and she'd be right there.
"Things are going to be okay," he said.
“Yeah.” He could already hear her taking it back in her own mind.
She slowly pulled herself from his arms. She could have stayed there all night and she was tempted to ask him to just hold her. “Can we watch some crappy movie or something?”
“What do you want to watch?”
“Whatever’s on T.V.”
“Should we change first?”
She blushed at the thought of them changing together, even though she knew that’s not what he meant. The redness in his cheek quickly caught up with hers when he saw her smiling. She followed him into his room and he flicked on a light on his way over to his dresser. He dug to the bottom of the drawer searching for something.
“Here,” he said throwing a t-shirt and shorts at her.
“Hey! Are these mine?”
“They are indeed.”
“Why do you have these?”
He kicked at a penny on his carpet. “They got mixed into my laundry last week.”
“And you put them in your drawer?”
“Yes, but no. I just put everything I had in my basket in the drawer and later when I was looking for a shirt I found yours instead.”
She smiled at him. “Didn’t fit?”
“I have some other stuff of yours too. Another shirt, one sock,” he held up the sock, “and some nylons. I think maybe I just kind of scooped up my clothes last week without really watching what was next to it and it just worked its way in.”
“Jim Halpert, the clothes thief.”
“I was going to give them back.”
“Were you?”
“No,” he laughed, “I was actually waiting for laundry day again and I was going to slip them back into your pile.”
“You know that you can tell me anything. Even if this thing is that you stole my clothes.”
“Didn’t steal them.”
“You so stole them.”
“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t, but I’m hurt that you won’t take my word for it.”
She shook her head at him.
“Pam, would you still love me if I stole your clothes?”
“No.”
He always thought it was unfair that she always answered with a no and he could never answer with anything but a yes. It was a little telling about the way they approached love. Jim was a wear your heart on your sleeve kind of guy and she had her heart securely in a safe never giving the slightest clue on her feelings for him.
She reached back for her zipper on her dress and for a second he was sure that she was going to let it fall to the ground in front of him.
“Can you get this?”
She turned around and his hands shook as he reached for the zipper.
“Sorry,” he said as his hands grazed her skin.
It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen her in things that showed skin. He could literally remember ever single time she stood in front of him in a bikini. Underwear was different though; it was more intimate and not intended for everyone at the lake to see, and right now he was getting a pretty good view of it.
“Thanks.” She held her dress up in the front as she worked her way into the hallway to the bathroom.
He changed quickly thinking that she’d already be sitting on the couch waiting because she lived to beat him at anything. When he stepped into the hallway he could still see that she wasn’t done changing and he happily sprawled out on the couch fully intending to rub it in her face that he was faster at changing than she was.
He heard a little squeak come from the bathroom. He jumped up and was at the door before the second squeak came. He knocked as he swung the door open; he wasn’t going to give her the opportunity to tell him she was okay. She was sitting on the edge of the tub, cradling her head in her hands. The fact that she was half naked was lost on him when he sat down next to her and pulled her into his chest.
“I shouldn’t have said yes. I wasn’t even sure... wasn’t even sure.”
It was strange how Roy had this power over them. He was the one in the wrong, yet they both inexplicably found a way to blame themselves.
“Don’t Pam. Come on.”
He lifted her to her feet and he finally realized that his hand was pressing into her bare flesh as he led her out of the bathroom to his room. Jim sat her on the edge of the bed and grabbed a large t-shirt from his closet.
“I didn’t do a very good job of not talking about Roy. Why couldn’t he just show up?”
He shook his head at her.
“Up,” he commanded and she lifted her arms over her head. He slipped the shirt over her arms and then tugged at it to get it over her head. “Your head is huge, Beesly.”
She was smiling at him with a tear streaked face and she hugged his neck. When he felt like the embrace had lasted long enough she still hadn’t let go and he was more than okay with that.
“Don’t let go,” she said into his shirt.
“Didn’t plan on it.”
Then before he could even comprehend what was happening she was pulling her head back and looking intently into his eyes and if she hadn’t done it he would have. She kissed him square on the lips. There was nothing about it that struck him as friendly and similar to the hug it lasted longer than he expected.
She bit her lip when she ended the kiss and he was clearly in shock. She wasn’t sure why she decided to kiss him then at the most inappropriate time, but she couldn’t really think of any time that would have been appropriate. He was there, like he always was and it just felt right and wrong at the same time. Now looking at his face she knew she shouldn’t have done it.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
“I—what just—“
“Sorry, really. Can we pretend like that didn’t happen?”
“Pam...”
“I don’t want things to be weird between us,” she uneasily reasoned. “You’re my best friend and I’m engaged to your brother. Please?”
“Pam...”
“Please Jim?”
“Sure.”
He didn’t mean it though. It was the first time in a long time that he had more than just a glimmer of hope that she liked him back as more than a friend and no way was he going to let that go.
Author's Chapter Notes:
The engagement dinner.
Chapter End Notes:
Next chapter we finally hear from Roy. Thanks to all of you who read and reviewed. You guys are amazing for not going "Roy as Jim's brother... you're crazy!" Well you probably did that, but I told myself the same thing.
