Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with theowners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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It had been a long day, and Pam spent most of it feeling badly for Oscar. As usual Michael made the biggest ass of himself while thinking he was doing the right thing, and now everyone in a 10 block radius was aware that Oscar was gay. Spending the afternoon locked in the conference room while Michael attempted to put a lip lock on Oscar in the spirit of accepting diversity would not be believed by anyone who did not work at the Scranton branch of the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company. Well, maybe ONE person would believe it, but that person wasn't someone she knew anymore. That person walked out of her life in May. He left her over four months ago and hadn't made a single attempt to contact her since. So she did her best not to think about him. Unfortunately she was coming to realise that her best wasn't even beginning to cut it.

Jim had left to take a promotion at the Stamford branch practically overnight after the casino fundraiser. Left immediately after telling her that he loved her. He had even kissed her. How does someone you've been friends with for over 3 years - best friends, really - lay all of that on you and then disappear forever because you didn't give them the answer they were looking for? She will never forget how angry she was the Monday she came into the office and found he was gone. That kiss and brief conversation made up the last moments they had shared, and her feelings of being totally abandoned just took over, making her practically hate him in her fury. She swore that she'd just put it all behind her and move on without him.

She didn't think like to dwell on the fact that perhaps she didn't have a real reason to be angry. She couldn't pretend that she had no idea he felt that way about her. Yes, his confession had been taken her aback in its intensity, but out and out surprise her? No, it hadn't. It just made her face the fact that she was living two lives - one with him in the office, Monday through Friday from 8 to 5, and then the other one that involved getting married to Roy. If she was being truly honest with herself, she shouldn't be angry at Jim for leaving, she should be ashamed of herself for letting things go on as long as the did, and then breaking the heart of her best friend in the process. But it was easier to just be angry. She didn't have to lie awake examining her own broken heart in the middle of the night if she just stayed angry.

As the months passed however, her angry shield against all things Jim started to chip away. She stopped pretending to do something else if his name was brought up in casual conversation. When the Dunder Mifflin quarterly newsletter came out in August and mentioned his promotion, she kept a copy. Granted she hid it in the back of a bottom drawer, along with a messy stack of scrap paper, a pair of extra socks, and 2 boxes of raisins that probably should have been tossed out ages ago, but she did keep it. And she remembered it was there.

It was late afternoon when Dwight opened a package that just arrived from the Stamford branch. Pam didn't think anything of it until she heard him say Jim's name. Suddenly the only thing she could focus on was what was in the box. Dwight pulls out a headset and something that could only be described as a weedwacker with the bottom cut off.

What in the hell was that thing?

She finally saw the lettering on the side of the machine. GAYDAR, it said, and she practically burst out laughing.

Oh My God, she thought. How is it even possible he knew about what happened today?

She thought back to a conversation she overhead between Jim and Dwight ages ago, with Jim convincing Dwight that a machine existed that could tell you if a person was straight or gay simply by waving it over them.

Dwight must haved called Jim today, she thought. But she was simply amazed that Jim could pull it off so fast.

Her first reaction was to email him and let him know what a wonderful thing he had done. It wasn't until she opened up a browser window that she remembered he hadn't made any contact with her since that night she told him she was still going to marry Roy - despite their fantastic,earth-shattering kiss. She had also sworn to herself that she wasn't going to be the first one to break that silence.

She sat at her desk and argued with herself over what to do. She knew she was being petty, and it didn't sit well with her. She had been through a great deal these last few months, practically entirely on her own. She faced the fact that the best friend she ever knew moved away. She called off a long-planned wedding only days before the event. She was living independently for the first time in her life. Had she learned nothing from all of this? Did she really still believe that she alone had sole right to be angry for the way things had turned out between Jim and herself? She had walked away from Jim, and then walked away from Roy. Where was she walking to, exactly?

It's not like sending a simple email is admitting you were wrong and can't live without him, she scolded herself. Isn't it time you test the waters and see if there's any friendship left at all?

So she screwed up courage and started the email.

Hi Jim,

Oops, I think Dwight's just discovered he's gay. :-)

She stopped, wondering how much more to say. It was surprisingly easy to open with such a light tone, and she could probably ramble for a great deal longer, but she was afraid of writing too much. She would be mortified if she wrote him a long email and he didn't so much as acknowledge it. She felt a strong longing to write something a litter more personal, to try and see how things stood, but she chickened out.

Let's just see if he even bothers to reply.

She took a deep breath and hit 'send'. She let out her breath so loud Ryan looked up from his desk (well, Jim's desk) and gave her a strange look. Lately that's been his usual look to her.

Well, I guess that's that, she thought. We'll see what happens.

But the butterflies in her stomach gave away the fact that she certainly did not feel as nonchalant about this as she was pretending. He'd won; she gave in and contacted him first. But somehow she didn't feel like she'd lost just yet. She realised that the only way she'd lose now is if he decided to ignore her attempt at reaching out.

She just hoped she wouldn't have to wait too long to find out.