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Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry for the long update! We couldn't figure out how to do italics, so we had to write in who wrote what, sorry if it's really confusing. It's really out of character, but we found it funny!


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CHAPTER EIGHT

When Jim sat down at his desk the next morning, he found a notebook titled “Proposal Ideas.” He sighed. Could the Cullens be any more obvious?

He looked around to make sure Pam couldn’t see him, and opened up the notebook, the pages were all ripped and torn, Edward and Bella probably had something to do with this.

1. Take her skydiving and write the proposal on the ground in huge letters. (Edward)

2. Edward is an idiot. Ignore that. try doing something quiet and romantic… just the two of you. (Bella)

3. Like what, Bella? Ask over dinner?(Edward)

4. YES! That’s so sweet. Take her to her favorite restaurant, or maybe the place where you two first ate together.(Bella)

5. BO-RING. Bella, the proposal needs to kick Pam’s ass. Think of something exciting, like skydiving.(Edward)

6. Oh, ok. Exciting and ass-kicking is fine, but skydiving is not. How about a proposal involving her art? Or some art?(Bella)

7. Hmm. Clever, Bella. Yes, something involving Pam’s art. That’s a good idea, but let’s think of other ones as well. Spell it out in rose petals, perhaps?(Edward)

8. Edward, how come you’re romantic here and not with my proposal? Ugh. Jim, that’s too sappy. How about propose through a puppy? Bring a puppy home and tie the ring to its collar.(Bella)

9. Or you could take her on a vacation, and propose there.(Edward)

10. Nah. That’s stupid. How about you bring her breakfast in bed, put the ring on the tray, and propose then?(Bella)

11. To add on to that, you could propose when she is drowsy. Slip the ring onto her finger when she’s just waking up.(Edward)

12. You are such an idiot! She’ll think she’s dreaming.(Bella)

13. That was a great idea, Bella.(Edward)

14. No it wasn’t! You have no idea what a woman wants for a proposal, especially ME.(Bella)

15. You said yes, didn’t you?(Edward)

16. Well you’re not romantic at all, and Jim obviously is, and your ideas are bringing him down.(Bella)

17. What are you trying to say?(Edward)

18. Fine, I’ll spell it out. You suck at this!(Bella)

19. I’ll just leave you with the notebook, then. I’m sure you’ll do much better that I ever could. (Edward)

20. I will! (Bella)

21. Fine! (Edward)

22. Fine! (Bella)

23. It’s Alice here! Why don’t you just keep it simple? (Alice)

24. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! (Bella)

25. No, Alice. He wants to do something more romantic and ass-kicking. (Edward)

26. Oh joy, Edward is back. I’m so happy. I just can’t contain my- (Bella)

27. Give me that! Jim, you could write a poem for her! (Alice)

28. That’s a nice idea! (Bella)

29. Or you could cook dinner for her. (Edward)

30. He already did that Edward. (Bella)

31. Oh, right… Here’s an idea. Arrange to meet her in a beautiful park near some riding stables. Rent a knight's armor from a costume shop or theatrical company and pick it up on the way. Rent a horse at the stables, don the armor, ride up to meet her and offer to be her prince. Present the loose diamond with princely flair on bended knee. You could have someone in the bushes nearby ready to play Holst's "Jupiter" as she starts to see you in the distance. (Edward)

30. Did you Google that? (Bella)

31. Maybe… (Edward)

32. He did Google it! (Alice)

33. Edward! We are trying to be creative here. Don’t just Google it. (Bella)

34. I thought it was a good idea! (Edward)

35. You didn’t even bother to re-phrase it. (Bella)

36. Did it really need a re-phrasal? The idea is still the same. (Edward)

37. You two need to stop fighting! We are trying to help Jim out here, fighting won’t solve anything. (Alice)

38. I suppose you’re right. (Edward)

39. Let’s just get back to thinking. (Bella)

40. Bella? Thinking? That’s a good one. (Edward)

41. That was unnecessary. (Bella)

42. You guys are worse than Rosalie and Emmett! Please, let’s get back to Jim. (Edward)

43. Fine, fine. Edward? Have any more fabulous ideas? (Bella)

44. Why don’t you Google ideas, Jim? They have some pretty impressive ones… (Edward)

45. EDWARD! The man wants to be original, for crying out loud! Jim, why don’t you take her to the beach, and put the proposal in a message in a bottle? (Alice)

46. Or train a parrot to say ‘Will you marry me?’. (Bella)

47. Or give her roses. Now, I’m not done yet. You could hang the ring on one of the stems… after you took off all the thorns, of course. (Alice)

48. Maybe you could put the proposal in a fortune cookie? On a tiny slip of paper? (Bella)

49. Those are rather romantic. (Edward)

50. Oh please. You wouldn’t know a romantic proposal if it bit you on the- (Bella)

51. BELLA! EDWARD! STOP! Oh dear… Jim, they stormed off. We’ll be back later! (Alice)

That was where the list stopped. Jim smiled halfheartedly. They came up with some good ideas, but he knew none of them would really kick Pam’s ass.

Jim started to think about Pam; really think about her. About when they first met, where he started to fall in love with her. Painfully, Jim started to let the memory of when he told her he loved her, when she rejected him. Then he thought about that night in the office – when they kissed. That was one of the best kisses of his life, and…

Jim cut himself off, mid-thought. He knew exactly how he was going to propose.
Chapter End Notes:
Once again, sorry for the long update and sorry for it being so out of character.


Morine is the author of 7 other stories.
BSan is the author of 4 other stories.
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