Little Words
When you are gone, there is nor bloom nor leaf,
Nor singing sea at night, nor silver birds;
And I can only stare, and shape my grief
In little words.
I cannot conjure loveliness, to drown
The bitter woe that racks my cords apart.
The weary pen that sets my sorrow down
Feeds at my heart.
There is no mercy in the shifting year,
No beauty wraps me tenderly about.
I turn to little words- so you, my dear,
Can spell them out.
-- Dorothy Parker
“Once upon a time there was a prince who wanted to marry a meow; but she would have to be a real meow. He meow all over the world to find one, but nowhere could he get what he wanted…”
She drops the Mad Libs book and her pencil to the floor with a sigh. She realizes now that it’s impossible to play this game with a cat, so she sets Acatus Finch on the floor and settles back on the sofa.
She misses him. She hates to admit it, but she does. It was easier in the beginning before things got too complicated. He was just a distraction, just somebody to have around until she could finally forgive the other man. The other man. That’s what she’s made him now. She’s turned all of them into things they weren’t meant to be.
She hates herself; no matter how many times she says three Hail Marys, she does. She wants to ask someone how you fix a situation like this, but she’s too embarrassed. She’s toyed with the idea of speaking to Pam about it, but she doubts Pam can understand things like these anymore. Just because they both wore engagement rings doesn’t mean they speak the same language.
The ring is sitting on her nightstand next to the Bible. (It’s just another irony she’s come to expect at this point.) He called earlier to say he’s coming later to collect the ring - as soon as he can stop crying. He claimed he’ll sell it on eBay and donate the money to Cornell, but she doubts it. She’s seen the circular crease in his wallet and she suspects it’ll just go right back in there, ready for the next girl who captures his heart for five minutes.
Her mother used to tell her that every woman must carry a burden, and now she’s sure this must be hers.
