Dwight leaned over to Angela and whispered loudly, "Remember on Lost, when they met 'The Others'?"

Pam looked at Jim and rolled her eyes.

Angela narrowed her gaze and gave her son that judgmental look that Jim and Pam were all too familiar with. "You neglected to tell us Elizabeth's last name."

Rob was an actor, but when it came to performing under the pressure of his mother's withering gaze, he faltered. He gulped audibly and tried, "Didn't I, mom? I thought I had mentioned it?"

Almost nailed it, Jim thought, but his voice was just a tad too high. Although this kid does have some pretty good acting skills.

His esteem for Rob crept up a notch. When he realized that he had spent several enjoyable hours with Rob without noticing immediately that there was a bizarre mutation in his gene pool, it went up again.

Dwight piped in. "Question. Jim, how much money do you make now? And how many people do you directly supervise?"

Rob interjected quickly. "Dad! I think there will be plenty of time to catch up with the Halperts. Why don't we all sit down and eat."

"That's a wonderful idea, Rob!" Elizabeth chimed in.

Dwight stood and grasped Jim's hand, pumped it firmly three times, no more, no less, and nodded. He turned to Pam and ran his eyes up and down her body. "Pamela. You're looking well for a woman of your age who has given birth."

Pam bit the inside of her mouth to keep from breaking out into another fit of giggles and said graciously, "Thank you Dwight! You and Angela are looking well also."

Angela looked like she was having trouble biting her tongue, but for the sake of her son, she kept quiet. She allowed the corners of her mouth to lift slightly into something that was supposed to resemble a smile but had more in common with a grimace. She nodded at Pam and Jim.

Just as the silence was beginning to reach an uncomfortable level again, the waiter approached. He was unnaturally cheerful.

"Good evening, folks! My name is Todd and I will be serving you this evening. Can I start you off with some drinks?"

In unison, Pam and Jim blurted out, "I think we need some wine..."

Angela sniffed, "Drinking alcohol is a sign of weak character."

Rob rolled his eyes discreetly at Elizabeth and sighed, "Mom, you know you have a glass of wine now and then. And Dad goes out drinking with his poker buddies every…"

Dwight coughed loudly and quickly interrupted, "Robert, you know I am merely the designated driver at those games."

Pam choked on a giggle as Jim pretended to suddenly be very interested in the menu.

Elizabeth spoke to the waiter, "Why don't you bring us a bottle of cabernet and a bottle of chardonnay to start, thanks."

"Very good."

Angela looked at Elizabeth and said, "You seem to know an awful lot about wine. Are you even old enough to be drinking young lady?"

"As a matter of fact Mrs. Schrute, I'm almost 24 years old, so yes, I am."

Atta girl, Beth, Jim thought, sending a wink to his wife.

"Shall we order some appetizers?" Jim asked. "How about the hot crab dip?"

"Jim, have you forgotten that I am a vegetarian? And Dwight can't eat shellfish."

"Sorry, Angela. Yes, I did forget. It's been a long time since we last broke bread together so my apologies."

Pam was drinking her water and began to cough on it. Jim leaned towards her, "Are you okay, honey?" Pam nodded, afraid she might laugh if she spoke. Or looked at him.

Jim turned back to Angela. "Perhaps you'd like to choose the appetizer?"

"We have dinner rolls. That will be sufficient," she said, closing her menu.

The waiter came back with the wine and made a great show of uncorking it and passed the cork to Dwight for his inspection. Dwight looked at it, shrugged, and placed it in his jacket pocket. The waiter was perplexed but he poured a small bit of wine in a glass for him to taste. Dwight held up the glass impatiently, "Can you fill that up please?" He looked at Jim and Pam. "I mean really, that's barely enough for a sip!"

Jim turned away so as not to laugh and when he caught his daughter's glance, he saw the disbelief in her widened eyes. Jim just smiled and nodded slightly as if to say, "See? I told you so!"

"May I take your dinner orders now?" Todd asked gamely.

"I'll have the swordfish." Elizabeth ventured.

"That sounds good, sweetie. I'll have the same." Pam added.

Jim and Rob ordered steaks and the waiter turned to Dwight.

"Your beef, is it USDA Prime?" he asked, peering over his glasses at Todd.

"Yes sir. It says so on the menu."

"Right. Good answer. Just checking. I'll have the rib eye with béarnaise sauce. But hold the eggs in the sauce. Oh, and the butter"

"Sir, béarnaise sauce is mostly eggs and butter. Perhaps you'd like crumbled blue cheese on it instead?"

Dwight shook his head emphatically. "No, I'm trying to watch my cholesterol."

The waiter was patient, but even he let out a little sigh. "Sir, maybe you would prefer the fish? Or perhaps the chicken?"

Jim piped up, "Dwight I thought you could raise and lower your cholesterol at will?" He glanced at Pam out of the corner of his eye but she was making a concerted effort to look anywhere but at him. He could see her shoulders shake almost imperceptibly.

"Well, Jim, yes of course I can but I try not to do it very often. It becomes more difficult with age."

Jim finally made eye contact with Pam and she made a noise and moved her menu quickly over her mouth.

Dwight turned back to the waiter. "I guess just give me the steak plain, no sauce. Can you deduct the cost of the sauce also?"

"Sir?" The waiter wasn't sure he had heard correctly.

Dwight explained slowly, and yet a tad impatiently, "The steak comes with some sort of topping, yes?" The waiter nodded. "Then I think if I forego the sauce, this saves the restaurant money. Savings that should be passed onto me, the customer."

The waiter started to speak but Jim cut him off. "Dwight, we'll take care of the bill so don't worry about the cost."

Dwight turned back to the waiter. "I've changed my mind. I'll have the surf and turf." He closed his menu with a snap.

Rob turned seventeen shades of red. "Dad, I really think..."

Jim put up his hand, "No, that's fine, Rob. We'll take care of the check. Please have whatever you all want."

Angela was last to order. "I'm a strict vegetarian." she told the waiter curtly, "What can I possibly eat on this menu?"

"Well, ma'am, we have a pasta primavera dish which is quite good. Or the eggplant parmigiana is quite good as well."

"Fine. I'll have the pasta. And a green salad, no dressing."

The waiter left and the silence settled again over the table.

Jim rushed to speak. "So, Rob, how long have you two been seeing each other?"

Immediately he regretted it as Angela added, "Yes, Robert, exactly how long have you been keeping Elizabeth's secret identity from us?"

Rob retorted, "Mom, she doesn't have a secret identity - she's not some sort of superhero."

Dwight corrected him, "It's superheroine, son. And that would be very cool..." he trailed off, clearly in a reverie that involved some sort of caped crusader.

Jim elbowed Pam and she coughed and stomped on his foot under the table. Then he coughed. Elizabeth knew what was going on between her parents and tried hard not to pay attention to them, fearing she would start laughing as well. It was a crazy Halpert family thing and she was used to it.

Angela kept harping on him, "You know what I mean. Why didn't you tell us she was, well, who she was?"

Pam got defensive, "What difference does it make who she is? She's a good girl, smart, and talented!"

"I'm sure she is. It's not my place to judge." Pam rolled her eyes. “I just meant he's known she was a Halpert for some time and has known that we were acquainted previously. Why did he keep it from us? That," she added smugly," is akin to lying."

Rob was flustered. "Mom, I didn't lie to you. I just sort of ‘forgot’ to mention it."

"Robert, are you disrespecting your mother?" Dwight chimed in.

"Dad, this is exactly why I didn't tell you. You're ganging up on me when I haven't even done anything wrong here! I mean, Elizabeth and I are in love and we just want to be happy and have our families get along when we get married..."

"MARRIED?" Pam, Jim, Angela, and Dwight all said at once. Loudly. Everything came to a halt as all the other patrons in the restaurant turned and a hush fell over the room. Then people began to applaud.

Angela jumped to her feet. "Stop clapping! These two are NOT getting married! Go back to your own dinners!"

Sheepishly the other diners returned to their meals.

Pam jumped up and hugged Elizabeth. "Honey, you're getting married? Why didn't you tell us?"

"Well, mom, that's what this dinner was supposed to be for. Dad, I'm sorry Rob didn't ask your permission. He really wanted to but I asked him not to so it could be a surprise."

"Beth, I understand, honey! If this is what you want, we're behind you all the way. Congratulations, son." He shook Rob's hand and hugged his daughter tightly.

Angela poked Dwight in the arm. "Are you just going to let this happen?"

Dwight looked at her, "What am I supposed to do about it, woman? He's a Schrute and he probably enthralled her with his many charms." Angela rolled her eyes. "I mean look at her. She's got good child-bearing hips and it appears as though she'd be quite capable of feeding thirsty Schrute babies..."

Pam's jaw dropped. Jim leaned towards him and said in a low voice, "Listen, Dwight, that's my daughter and you'd better just stop talking, right now."

Elizabeth was horrified but she had inherited the ability to torture people who deserved it. She added, for good measure, "Besides, we don't even know if we want children."

Angela gasped. "Young lady, the whole point of marriage is procreation!"

"Oh my god!" Pam choked out. "You still believe in that crap?"

Angela glared at Pam, "The Bible is not 'crap'!"

"Uh, no, I meant that out of date uptight Christian, anti-feminist stuff. You're a career woman, Angela. How can you believe in that?"

Angela ignored her comment. "Robert, you are not marrying that girl and getting involved in her family of heathens!"

Rob stood up and said quietly, "Yes, mother, I am. So you'd best get used to it."

Angela threw her head back. "Hmmph. Well, I won't be there. Dwight you may take me home now."

He looked up at her stricken, and whined, "But I didn't get to eat my surf and turf yet!"

She gave him a look. He pouted, "Fine. I'll go get the car." He slunk away.

"As for you young man," she pointed at her son, "You do whatever you like but your brother and your cousins will inherit your share of the beet enterprise. You are cut off." She grabbed her purse and stormed off.

Elizabeth turned to Rob. "Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry!"

Rob smiled wanly. "No, I'm sorry. She didn't mean any of it."

Pam looked at Jim, he looked at Elizabeth, she looked at Rob..

"Yes, she did," they all said at once.

"Jinx!" Elizabeth said weakly. "Oh well, I guess we should eat our dinner." She added as the waiter arrived with a large tray.

"Actually," Jim said arching an eyebrow, "That went better than I expected it would!"

Simultaneously, Pam and Elizabeth threw sugar packets at him as Rob laughed heartily.

Jim raised his wine glass with a grin, "Welcome to the heathen family, son!"