Pam is a 28-year old receptionist at a paper supply company in Scranton, Pennsylvania, who needs a little life injected into her dead wardrobe. She’s packed up her clothes and headed to New York City to visit the What Not To Wear studio, and to face the dreaded 360-degree mirror.
…
(Pam steps into the 360-degree mirror in a striped button-down shirt, a dark purple sweater and a gray skirt.)
“Okay,” she sighed, looking around at all the angles of herself in the mirror, “This is an outfit I would wear to work. I don’t really have a lot to say about it…”
She trailed off as Stacy and Clinton opened the door. “Yeah, we don’t have a lot to say about it either,” Clinton told her, scrunching his face in disgust.
“I just have a question,” Stacy told her. “Being the first face that people see when they walk into your company, why would you want them to be sad?”
“Oh, I don’t want them to be sad, I just—”
“Are you trying to tell them with your clothing to not do business with your company?”
“Um… maybe?”
Clinton waved his arms to signal an end to the conversation, “Okay, we don’t need to go down that road, but really, Pam, this button down looks so faded. I don’t even know what color that is anymore—”
“It’s like blue-violet,” Stacy speculated. “And you paired it with like, an eggplant sweater and a gray skirt, both of which look faded as well. See, this is called age. And the thing about clothing is that every piece has an expiration date—”
“Maybe they should put that on the clothes, like on the tag or something, so I know when I need to get new ones,” Pam suggested meekly, trying to be a little funny.
Stacy nodded, “That is very true. Or, you could just look with your eyes and see that a nice midnight blue has become a dull, blue-violet.”
“But you can see why we maybe think this ensemble isn’t exactly giving off a friendly and welcoming vibe,” Clinton inquired.
Pam shrugged, “I guess it looks pretty dull.”
“Okay, why don’t we see if we can find something that is still work-appropriate, but also age appropriate and shows a lot more of your natural beauty,” Stacy suggested. “How does that sound?”
“Sounds good,” Pam smiled softly.
…
(Pam, Stacy and Clinton step up to a mannequin dressed in a bright sweater, an a-line skirt and flats.)
“Okay Pam,” Stacy began, “now this is a look for work that we think you could easily do. Because the thing about your work wear is that it’s not that bad in terms of shapes and cuts, it just needs a little facelift—”
“Right, it just needs some updating,” Clinton added. “And so we think for you, you could really pull off that kind of sexy secretary look while still dressing professionally.”
“Now what we have here,” Stacy pointed to the sweater, “is a lovely magenta sweater, embellished just a little bit with this beading up here around the collar—very elegant.”
Clinton directed her attention down to the skirt, “And down here, instead of a pencil skirt which really makes your hips look bigger than they are, we have an a-line skirt that flows away from the body and really helps to create a narrow waistline.”
“And, if you’ll notice,” Stacy picked up one of the shoes on the floor, “we’re showing a really cute pair of flats with the ensemble, which would give you that comfort that I know you enjoy with your Keds, but it would still be a professional and age-appropriate look.”
“We love the idea of you adding bright colors to your wardrobe,” Clinton told her. “And especially the color of this sweater right near your face would really bring out the natural pink hues in your skin and play up that inherent beauty that you have.”
“I think I could do something like this for work,” Pam conceded. “And especially since it’s not too sexy—”
Stacy arched an eyebrow, “What does that mean, ‘not too sexy’?”
“Well, I don’t know,” Pam fidgeted with the sleeves of her sweater. “Any time I try to look just a little nice, my boss makes an inappropriate comment…”
“Well that sounds like something to take up with your HR rep,” Clinton chuckled. “But we promise we won’t make you buy anything that would be too suggestive for work.”
“Okay,” Pam smiled.
…
(Pam, Stacy and Clinton stand with Pam’s racks of clothes.)
“Alright Pam, let’s just start by grabbing all of these sad, faded, button-down shirts, shall we?” Stacy asked rhetorically, snatching shirts off the racks. “Because you have a lot of them.”
Pam watched as Clinton and Stacy took all her work shirts from the racks of clothing and went through them one by one:
“This used to be pink, but is now more like a melon color.”
“This one I think was blue, but now it’s almost gray.”
“Beige, pink, pink, blue, pink… Pam, you do realize you’re not a baby. You don’t have to dress yourself in baby blues and pinks.”
“Right. These aren’t the only colors in the world.”
In one fell swoop, Stacy and Clinton hurl the button-down shirts into their large garbage can.
“Oh my God, Stacy,” Clinton gasped, pulling out a red v-neck top from the racks, “This is—first of all, this is the most color we’ve seen in your wardrobe so far—”
“But second, and what makes this not such a good top for you,” Stacy butted in, “is that this flowy, loosey-goosey fabric isn’t going to do anything for your figure. It almost looks like maternity wear…”
Trying to defend herself, Pam smiled shyly as she remembered buying the top online and showing it off in her ‘fashion show at lunch.’ “This was the first thing I bought for myself after I called off my wedding—” she told them.
“Honey you could’ve done a lot better than this old thing,” Stacy said, pulling at the fabric. “I don’t think I’ve seen so much elastic in a top before.”
“It’s trying desperately to create some structure when there just isn’t any,” Clinton told her dryly. It promptly went into the garbage can.
…
(Pam steps into the 360-degree mirror again, this time in jeans and a hooded sweater.)
“So, this is something I would wear if I was just going to, like, hang out with friends, or go to the park, or maybe go grocery shopping in. It’s a nice, comfy outfit for weekends when I don’t have to try to look a certain way…”
Stacy and Clinton opened the door as Clinton remarked, “You know, it’s interesting how you keep talking about not having to try…”
“I just don’t really put a lot of effort into what I’m wearing…” Pam shrugged. “I don’t have to really impress anyone…”
“Yeah, let’s talk about that for a second here,” Stacy held up her hands, indicating the conversation needed to stop and detour onto what Pam considered to be a bumpy route. “I know you might still be working through your break-up with your ex-fiancé, but don’t you eventually want to bag a hottie?”
“Um…” Pam fiddled with her necklace, unsure of whether to reveal her secret, and eventually blurted out, “I… kind of have been dating a guy for a few weeks.”
Clinton and Stacy’s eyes widened in shock. “Shut up!” Stacy gave her arm a playful smack. “And your friend Kelly doesn’t know about this?”
“No. Definitely not.”
“Well that explains why we didn’t know,” Clinton threw his hands up and rolled his eyes.
“Hear that Kelly?” Stacy looked straight into the camera, “Pam has a boyfriend and didn’t bother to tell you.”
“Well, it’s still really new,” Pam told them, unable to stop herself from blushing. “We haven’t told anyone, really…”
Clinton put a hand on her shoulder, “Well regardless, don’t you think you should be dressing a little nicer for your ‘secret boyfriend’? Cause these clothes outside of work—I hate to tell ya—are just about as bland as your clothes for work.”
“Right, we have yet another faded blue sweater,” Stacy motioned to her top, “this one with a hood, and it looks like it’s shrunk a little. Plain white undershirt, which is about the most boring thing you could do under a sweater—”
“And dark wash jeans,” Clinton gestured down to Pam’s bottom half, “which would be okay, except the cut is really giving you a weird shape.”
Stacy agreed, “Yeah, you look like an ice cream cone.” They all laughed, Pam a little more self-deprecatingly than the others, and then Stacy continued, “So let’s go to the mannequin and show you a better way to dress while hanging out with your friends.”
“Or secret boyfriend,” Clinton added as they all exited the 360-degree mirror.
…
(Pam, Stacy and Clinton step up to a mannequin dressed in a cashmere top, a pair of jeans and flats.)
“So Pam, again, we want to really play up your femininity here,” Clinton told her, gesturing to the top. “So we’ve chosen this cashmere, short sleeved, kind of sandy-gold top for you—very elegant—and do you see the adorable bow here by the neckline? Very feminine and romantic.”
Stacy motioned to the jeans, “And we’ve paired it with dark wash jeans, like you were doing, but this time we’ve made them straight-legged with no weird tapering that gives you that strange, upside-down triangle, ice cream cone shape. Again, our goal is to give you that feminine, hourglass shape and not to make you look, well… hippy.”
“And here we’ve done some orange flats just for a pop of color,” Clinton pointed to the shoes at the mannequin’s feet. “Just to make the outfit a little more interesting and modern. Maybe to show people you have a little artistic flair to you.”
Pam smiled and nodded her head in approval, “I really like this one. I think it’s how I always wanted to dress but never really knew how to, like, put the outfit together.”
“Which is why we’re the fashion experts,” Stacy smirked.
…
(Pam, Stacy and Clinton stand with Pam’s racks of clothes.)
Stacy shook her head, “Pam, Pam Pam, these Pilgrim shoes are even worse up close! Look at these!” Pam broke into a nervous laughter as Stacy continued to berate her footwear, “I mean, these are so geriatric it’s not even funny! And this chunky heel makes your feet look so weighed down—”
“Yes, and we want you to look very light on your feet,” Clinton told her, “Like… a fairy, just floating around Scranton… floating around town…”
“Yeah, and you can’t float in those heavy things,” Stacy declared as she chucked the black heels into the trashcan.
“Oh!” Clinton exclaimed, reaching down for another pair of shoes, “And these are the famous ‘Whitest Sneakers’ shoes, aren’t they?”
Pam held up her hands to stop the criticism, “Now I actually have a story about those. For like three years before I got that award, me and my ex-fiancé would get the ‘Longest Engagement’ award and it was really embarrassing, and so I think ‘Whitest Sneakers’ is a big step up from that…”
“And while that is true,” Stacy agreed, “It’s not the award we would’ve wanted you to get.”
“At least in reference to your sense of fashion,” Clinton added.
“But,” Pam protested, “they’re really comfy.”
Stacy shook her head, “Well we’re going to teach you to be comfy and stylish at the same time, okay missy?” With that, Stacy and Clinton each threw a shoe into the garbage can.
…
(Pam steps into the 360-degree mirror for the final time, dressed in a black dress with a purple turtleneck underneath it.)
“So, I might wear this out on a date, or if there was something just a little more special than everyday wear. Um, I also wore it to an art show that I was in in the spring…”
Clinton and Stacy stepped through the door as Stacy commented, “Really, all that’s missing is a little beret.”
“Now we actually love parts of this outfit,” Clinton told her. “We love the pop of color here with the purple, we love that you actually incorporate dresses into your wardrobe, because so many people we see aren’t even open to the concept of a dress for anything less fancy than a wedding—”
“But unfortunately,” Stacy said, obviously playing the bad cop, “you’re doing this dress look all wrong. Now we understand that this is you trying to look a little more artsy, but, the turtleneck isn’t going to cut it—”
Clinton chimed in, “Yes, there are much more structured, simple, but still artistic pieces out there. Because really, this dress has no shape to it.”
“It kind of looks like those ones kids would wear in he nineties in like family portraits and stuff,” Stacy remarked, which made Clinton laugh. “But it doesn’t say ‘artist’ to me, and it certainly doesn’t say ‘serious graphic designer.’”
“No, it says, ‘mom made me wear this to my grade-school art show,’” Clinton told her. “And that’s not the look we want for you. So let’s show you how to make your artsy look a little more modern and not so dated.”
…
(Pam, Stacy and Clinton stand by a mannequin wearing a button-front dress and high heels.)
Clinton began, “So Pam, this is what we think you should be wearing to things like art shows, and even in the future, job interviews at graphic design studios and what have you.”
“It’s a black, button front dress,” Stacy explained, “with a little tie here to cinch your waist and give you that hourglass shape that we strive for. We also have a lacy camisole underneath, and of course, a pop of color in the shoe. Bonjour.”
“And notice that this time we picked a higher heel in the shoe instead of those flats we’ve been showing you,” Clinton pointed out to her. “Heels are really more fancy, and they are also convey a sense of power and control, and so they are perfect both for a nicer date and also an art show or an interview.”
Pam nodded, “I like this outfit too. I think it’s very trendy and kind of what I see some of the other people in my classes wearing, and they look more, like, sophisticated than how I probably look—”
“What’s great about that is it’s a very simple dress to just throw on and go,” Stacy informed her, “but because it’s a very modern, structured look, that’s what gives you that sophistication you’re looking for.”
“I think I could definitely look like this,” Pam smiled.
“Well that’s what we wanted to hear,” Clinton told her.
…
(Pam, Stacy and Clinton stand with Pam’s racks of clothes.)
“Okay, time to throw out all these sad, dreary, droopy sweaters,” Stacy declared as she and Clinton began tearing clothes off the racks.
Pam gasped as she saw Clinton take a gray sweater in his hands, “No! That one my mom made for me!”
The pair stopped and examined the gray sweater Clinton now held more gently than when he was ripping it off the clothing rack. “Your mom made this?” Stacy asked.
“Yeah, it was a birthday present,” Pam told them.
They exchanged a glance and Clinton sighed in defeat, “Alright, we’ll let you keep the sweater your mother knitted you. But everything else is outta here.” They finished stuff thing the rest of Pam’s clothes into the now overflowing trashcan, and both nodded in approval after they were done. Pam could only stare in bewilderment, clutching her gray sweater to her chest, as all her clothes lay on top of each other in the garbage.
“Okay,” Stacy said, obviously satisfied with the work she and her cohort had done, “why don’t you go shopping, don’t forget the rules, and just get out there and have some fun.”
“Go get ‘em, tiger,” Clinton added.
“Okay, see you guys,” Pam gave them a small, unsure wave as she walked away form her pile of discarded clothes.
… … …
The prospect of shopping has Pam a little worried:
“I haven’t been shopping in a really long time, other than a few things I’ve bought online recently. Um, usually I like to just go into a store, get one or two things that I need, and get out, so this will be a pretty different experience for me. I’m going to try and follow the rules, because I think that will keep me kind of… guided, maybe? But it’s just kind of overwhelming how much stuff I have to replace. But I’m willing to give it a try… mostly because I have to.”
… … …
Next, Pam is having a little trouble coping with the cost of style:
“I could buy so much art supplies for the price of these shoes.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews this story is getting! NanReg made a very wise suggestion that I put photos at the end to illustrate the story (because you can't really talk about fashion without some visuals), so you'll now find photos at the end of each chapter displaying Pam's transformation.
Also, I just want to make sure you all know that I personally have never found too much wrong with the old Pam, but Stacy and Clinton are notoriously picky, so expect them to call her out on a lot more. ;)
As always, special thanks to Little Comment, who for some reason or another enjoys putting up with me and gives me lots of encouragement. (Heh, could we sound more like a married couple?) Enjoy!
Also, I just want to make sure you all know that I personally have never found too much wrong with the old Pam, but Stacy and Clinton are notoriously picky, so expect them to call her out on a lot more. ;)
As always, special thanks to Little Comment, who for some reason or another enjoys putting up with me and gives me lots of encouragement. (Heh, could we sound more like a married couple?) Enjoy!
Chapter End Notes:
