Toby is giving one of his lame HR meetings about something in the workplace and how it... does something... or whatever. It’s boring. Michael hates it. Michael hates him. Oh, if only...

Michael gets dropped off at the office by Wonder Woman in her invisible plane and heads to the elevator, ready to show everyone his latest magic trick. Wonder Woman said it was awesome, so he knows it’s going to be a hit with the office. When he walks through the door though, his magic trick disappears from his mind.

Pam is hanging up colorful banners around the reception desk, Jim is throwing confetti, and Angela is holding a cake.

“It’s not my birthday yet,” he says. He drags his index finger across the top of the cake then licks the icing off his finger. “Ooh, my favorite. Sweet. Get it? Cause, it’s icing and it’s also great. Sweet. Dude Where’s My Car? Ashton Kutcher.”

“My favorite movie,” Angela says. “Michael, you’re always so on-point with your pop culture references!”

“Thanks, Midge,” Michael replies. “But, what’s the sitch? What are we celebrating?”

Jim hugs him tightly and holds the hug just a second over the just-friends line. They’re close. It’s totally cool. They’re bros.

Jim breaks the hug and beams at Michael. “Toby’s dead!”

Michael’s jaw drops. “Oh, my God! What? How?”

“Hot air balloon accident!” Jim exclaims happily.

“He deserved it,” Angela says. “He was defying God floating around in that thing.”

“If we were meant to fly, we’d have been born airplanes,” Michael agrees solemnly.

Pam places a hand on Michael’s shoulder. “Hey, don’t beat yourself up about this, okay? Toby was awful. Nobody liked him. Like, whenever he was giving one of his stupid speeches about office safety, we would always be thinking ‘When is Michael gonna tell a hilarious joke?’”

“He was the worst,” Michael says with a nod.

“And the good news keeps coming,” Jim tells him. “Corporate called and said that instead of getting a new HR rep, they’re having Eddie Murphy come in. And instead of having monthly HR meetings, corporate wants you to do an hour of stand-up comedy.”

“We can’t wait,” Pam says, smiling widely. “You’re the funniest person we know.”

“Definitely,” Angela says. “Oh, and, hey - Pam and I are having a hot tub party later. You should come!”

“No, Michael,” Jim says. “You should come with me. I’m meeting Michael Jordan later to play some hoops. He’s really excited to meet you.”

Michael thinks about it for a moment. “Hmm, couldn’t I... just do both?”

“Funny and smart!” Jim says and pulls Michael in for another hug.

Toby stops in the middle of his speech and looks quizzically at Michael.

“Are you okay?” he asks. “You’ve got a funny look on your face and -”

“Shut it,” Michael says and rolls his eyes. “Keep giving your stupid speech.”

Toby continues, “Okay, well, like I was saying -”

“GOD!” Michael interrupts. “I’m so bored I want to throw up!”

Toby sighs and continues with his presentation...

On his way to the hot tub party, Michael gets a call from Ryan. Ryan invites him to a party in New York City and says there’s gonna be a lot of cute babes. Michael texts Pam to let her know that he won’t be showing up at the hot tub party: “sry sPAM, no can do on the tub action. ryan wants 2 hang n hes my boi. rain check me k?”

Pam responds back quickly: “I love when you give me totally clever nicknames! But Angela and I understand. Have fun with Ryan. Xoxo luv Pamcakes”

Michael makes a U-turn in his Camaro and heads up to NYC to be with his other BFF Ryan. They text each other the entire way, telling each other how hot they are and how many chicks they’re totally gonna hook up with.

When Michael finally makes it to Ryan’s spacious studio apartment, Ryan introduces him around to all the women there before taking him into the bathroom so they can have a private chat.

Ryan leans against the sink and says, “So, I heard Toby died.”

“Yeah,” Michael says. “We had a cake.”

“Awesome,” Ryan replies. “That guy was a jerk. A total loser, you know? He wasn’t funny - no comedic timing. Not like you, my man. You’re always right on the ball. You always do us right.”

Michael grins. “That’s what she said!”

Ryan laughs heartily, like he hasn’t laughed for months - no. Years. “You got me! You’re too clever for me, Michael Scott! You’re my best friend and mentor. I love you.”

“I love you too, Ryan,” Michael says.

Ryan shuffles his feet then says, “Can I ask you something?”

“You just did,” Michael replies. He pokes Ryan in the shoulder. “But I’ll give you another one because you’re one of my best friends.”

“You’re my best friend,” Ryan says. “But I wanted to ask you... well... can I move in with you? I’m getting sick of this whole New York scene. I wanna settle down in Scranton and take after you.”

Michael chokes back tears. “Of course...”

They hug. Fireworks go off in the distance.

Jim pokes him in the shoulder. “Hey, the meeting’s over.”

“Huh? Oh,” Michael says. “Good. If I had to hear another word from that jerk’s mouth, I’d kill myself.”

Jim frowns. “Oh, well, that’s -”

“But I’d kill you all first,” Michael interrupts. “So that you wouldn’t have to suffer either.”

Jim’s eyes widen. “Wow. That is... wow. How... disturbing... and thoughtful...”

Michael nods. “Yeah...”